SCENE : BAND REHEARSAL OF WANNA BE SUPERSTARS
JOHN: I don't want to come across as big headed but I think I may have written a song to put us well and truly on the map
JIM: Great to hear. Big time here we come
MIKE: Tell us more. Whats it about? Usual boy girl thing.
JOHN: It does involve a relationship, but it puts racism and intolerance in the spotlight. I can actually see it becoming a anthem that brings people together. Its kind of like that Paul Macartney and Stevie Wonder song Ebony and Ivory
JIM: My uncle hated that song. Ebony and Ivory live together in perfect harmony, side by side on the piano keyboard. That's the big line in the song which my uncle said don't make no sense.
JOHN: Sounds good and positive to me.
JIM: He said Ebony would be jealous because there would be more Ivories, and Ivory would be jealous because all the Ebonies are taller. He said it would eventually kick off between them.
JOHN: It doesn't matter what your uncle thought, it was a big hit. People loved its positive message, just like they will love my positive message.
MIKE: Lets hear it then. Read it out.
JOHN: Okay first verse. See the Swan in the tree, Cygnet perched upon her knee. Saying eat your food
MIKE: Stop there a minute. I don't think Swans sit in trees. Come to think of it I'm not convinced they have knees either.
JIM: Think he's right. Trees and knees is not their thing.
JOHN: Not a problem. I'll start again. See the Swan beside the tree, a Cygnet in her feathers deep.Saying eat your food or you won't grow, You'll shrink and darken like a crow
MIKE: Stop it there.
JOHN: Whats wrong now. She's not in the tree and she's knee less.
MIKE: This song is an anti racism song that involves a relationship. Is that correct?
JOHN: I have already said that
MIKE: Eat your food and you won't grow, You'll shrink and darken like a crow. Does this relationship involve a Swan and a Crow
JOHN: It's one of the relationships.
MIKE: So black people in the song are represented by a crow.
JOHN: Using a Blackbird would be too obvious.
MIKE; Have you heard of Jim Crow?
JOHN: No. Am I stealing his lyrics?
MIKE: No you fool it was the name for racist laws that existed for hundreds of years. Its deeply insulting.
JOHN: Okay its not a problem. Eat your food or you'll have no luck, You'll shrink and darken like a Rook.
JIM: Let me get this straight. A Swan and a Rook are going to get it on. That sounds kind of improbable and its kind of indecent if I have to be honest about it
MIKE: It does sound kind of wrong. Let me have a look at these lyrics. ( JOHN HANDS OVER LYRIC SHEET)
In the first verse the Swan tells her baby to eat well or she'll turn into a rook and have a miserable existence because Rooks are bad.
In the second verse the former Crow turned Rook tells her chick not to wish to grow big and white like a Swan because Swans are evil and like nothing better than eating Rooks
JOHN: Young love breaks the cycle of hatred. Whats not to like about uplifting words such as these?
MIKE: Verse three. See the Canary in the tree. I presume the Canary represents the oriental population. Tell me have you ever walked past say a Chinese person and thought to yourself, wow these people are really yellow. If I ever go to Bejing on holiday I better wear shades so they wont dazzle me with their yellowness.
JIM: A Swan and a Canary is even worse than a Swan and a Rook. Tell me they don't get together.
JOHN: I couldn't think of anything else to represent them
JIM: A corn fed Chicken would be less yellow than a Canary. That might be a little more respectful.
JOHN: I'm good with a corn fed Chicken. You can't knock verse four Sparrows are brown.
MIKE: Your song has four birds. Three of them are small, one is much larger.The large one happens to be white.
JOHN: Its no big thing to change the birds. I'm nearly sure an Ostrich has black feathers. There's that other large bird the Rhea who has brown feathers.
JIM: Change the Canary into Big Bird from Sesame Street and problem solved.
MIKE: Your new version now has the white bird being the only one with the ability to fly. People notice every little thing
JOHN: Not true. You have not seen verse five.
MIKE: See the Flamingo in the tree, Her chick perched upon her knee
JOHN: Don't want to forget the Gay and Lesbian angle. You have to admit they are definitely the gayest looking birds.
MIKE: I give up, lets just do cover versions.