Cell Phones

Cell Phones

(3m)   by runnr4lfe77
 

Comedy Monologues   (720055 Views 257 Comments)

You know, everyone nowadays has a cell phone.

It's like their lives orbit around that rectangular piece of steel...and it's not even a sphere!

I can’t disagree though…I’m one of those people that just can’t part with their phone.

Every few minutes I’ll be checking my phone. (mimes checking phone) Oh look! I have…zero missed calls, zero new texts, the Facebook frontier is quiet…

Then I remember I’ve had zero incoming calls, zero texts, and I have three friends on Facebook: mom, dad, and grandma. I used to have four but then grandpa died.

Anyways, I’ll still be sitting there, or standing there, no difference, with my phone, just messing around with it.

I have one of those sliding phones…(towards audience) how many of you guys have those sliding phones?

Well you guys know how addicting it is to just slide the phone back and forth? *click, clack, click, clack*

It’s lots of fun until suddenly, I get a call from my mom wondering why I called. *hello? Oh hi mom….no I didn’t mean to call you…no I’m not at a bar right now…yes I know I don’t have a boyfriend…no need to rub it in…no! do not set me up with someone! Um I really have to go um…make dinner. Yes, at 2AM! Love you (shake head mouthing not really). Bye!*

Later on, I’m going to bed…getting real sleepy…*ALERT ALERT. ALERT ALERT*

I jumped out of bed, wide awake. I get to the room where I still hear *ALERT ALERT. ALERT ALERT!* going off…and I realize it was my phone.

Nothing like a text alert full volume at 3 in the morning to get the blood flowing!

Someone actually texted me! It was…my mom.

Let’s see…I read my mom’s message first. It says that grandma died. Damnit! Now I only have two friends on facebook.

Comedy Type: Humor Type: Comedy Scene:
1 Person
Script Length: Post date: Script Market:
Public
Permission for use:
Permission required only for commercial use

Author's Message

This is the FULL SCRIPT.

Copyright Statement

Funny👍



Comments

   

Submitted by tiffany anderson on Fri, 08/13/2010 - 14:36
This is really funny. May I use it in an audition?
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Sat, 08/14/2010 - 14:57
Wow! I'm delighted that you like my piece! I guess you can use it in your audition if you'd like. I would appreciate it if I could get some credit or something though :)
Submitted by Roxanne (not verified) on Thu, 08/19/2010 - 00:15
wow, this is fantastic! I live in the UK and we don't use cell phone we use mobile, would you be OK if I used this for a show giving you full credit of course but just changed cell phone? please you're brilliant! :)
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Thu, 08/19/2010 - 13:20
Haha, thanks! What you said about using my piece sounds good, and I'm fine with it :)
Submitted by jhora (not verified) on Fri, 08/27/2010 - 02:32
can you pls help me!!!! i need to prepare a skit for my upcoming school function and you write really well!!!what i basically need is a hilarious and comic script which has some moral values we have abt 20 participants will you pls help us???
Submitted by Alex (not verified) on Sun, 09/19/2010 - 04:50
Hey this is great? do you mind if i filmed this whole thing and post in on youtube :) You will be given full credit for writing the script :)
Submitted by Alex (not verified) on Sun, 09/19/2010 - 04:51
Sorry i didnt mean to put "Hey this is great?" i meant to put "HEY THIS IS GREAT!!!!!!!!" haha
Submitted by Brian Turner (not verified) on Mon, 09/20/2010 - 15:29
I really like this piece. I'm actually looking for a monologue to do for our Forensics season. If you don't know what that is, it's a team of competitive public speakers going to different schools and competing against high schools from around our state. I'm looking at doing Solo Acting-Humorous as my category, and I think this piece could be a real winner. I would give you full credit to the piece in an intro during the piece, and I could even send you a video of it so you can see an interpretation of it.
Submitted by Austin (not verified) on Wed, 09/22/2010 - 13:38
Hey can I use your for Acting class???
Submitted by Austin (not verified) on Wed, 09/22/2010 - 13:39
Ha oops I meant to say can I use this for Acting class???
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Thu, 09/23/2010 - 09:27
Hey guys, i posted replies for your comments but it appears that they havn't showed up...sorry about that. Well to everyone who has asked me about using this piece, go for it! Please include me in the credits or something, my name is pronounced along the lines of "cho-chi". If you're filming it, please send me a link of your video! I would love to see it! Good luck to everyone! I hope my comment actually posts this time >.<
Submitted by icomedytv on Mon, 09/27/2010 - 18:14
Xiaoqi it's weird that your post didn't show up... please feel free to pm me if this happens again.
Submitted by Will Hugg (not verified) on Tue, 09/28/2010 - 14:34
Nice piece. I'm actually in search of skits for my animation company. If you have more please email me. I would love to use it. Thanks
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Wed, 09/29/2010 - 09:08
Will, sorry, but I'm don't have any more pieces and don't plan on writing any more for the time being since I have a lot of work at school. Good luck on your search!
Submitted by Lathrop (not verified) on Mon, 10/11/2010 - 15:49
Great monologue! I'm organizing a play centered around a "texting-support group" - may I use this piece?
Submitted by restisaweapon on Mon, 10/11/2010 - 21:57
Way to go Li, your doing fantastic with this phone monologue. WE WANT MORE! Keep up the the awesome writing (when you can fit it into you busy schedule) Maybe write about school. Your very talented.
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Tue, 10/12/2010 - 09:18
Lathrop: Haha, of course! I'd like for my name to be included in the credits or something though. Good luck! Don: Eh...this was more like a one time thing...I'm not sure I'll be writing anything else. I'll try though...
Submitted by Alicia (not verified) on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 09:51
This is a really funny piece. I am woundering if i could use it for Humorus Interpritation in my speech team for school in a speech compition?
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 10:33
Alicia-Of course, I'd like to be included in the credits or something though. Good luck! :)
Submitted by _____ (not verified) on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 10:35
I love this. You should seriously become a comedian.
Submitted by Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... (not verified) on Wed, 11/03/2010 - 18:38
That was hilarious. I need an audition piece and i think i just found the right one. thankyou for your inspiration. xoxo p.s i have a slide phone so this is perfect!!!!
Submitted by logan (not verified) on Wed, 11/17/2010 - 23:28
i just need it for my speech class. its my final exam if you could send it to me i would really apreciate it, its a really funny monolouge ( send to lkimball2013@montabella.com) ill give credit
Submitted by logan (not verified) on Thu, 11/18/2010 - 00:04
Thanks
Submitted by logan (not verified) on Thu, 11/18/2010 - 00:06
Send the full version unless this is the full version. thanks
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Thu, 11/18/2010 - 03:42
To all: yes, you may use this piece. Just include in credits or something please! Oh and logan, this is the full version so you can just copy paste this into a word doc or whatever. good luck to all! :)
Submitted by logan (not verified) on Thu, 11/18/2010 - 06:19
ok thanks
Submitted by mimi (not verified) on Sun, 11/21/2010 - 10:42
this is hilarious! i love it! is it ok if i use it in a drama showcase? i was doing some monologue from a play but i encountered yours and it's SO FUNNY! definitely changing it to this one. :) just letting you know :D
Submitted by Susane (not verified) on Mon, 01/03/2011 - 09:52
lol hey this is funny good job!
Submitted by Danny (not verified) on Mon, 03/14/2011 - 12:14
FUNNY DUUUUDDDEEE!!!!
Submitted by Zach7797 on Tue, 04/12/2011 - 08:37
funny, I was wondering if I could use this for a class assignment
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Tue, 04/12/2011 - 10:12
sure :) i'd like to be mentioned in the credits or something though
Submitted by S Jay (not verified) on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 12:46
My daughter needs to recite a 3-5 min monologue for a middle school class project. Would u mind if she used this mentioning you at start? Do you have any more lines to this one as it comes in just a couple seconds under 3 mins when we timed her..?
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Sat, 04/30/2011 - 04:03
Hi S Jay, I'm glad you and your daughter like it and she may use it as needed for her school project :) this is the full script though, i don't have anymore lines for it
Submitted by Louis wong (not verified) on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 01:48
Hi mr Li, look i think this is absolutely brilliant, i would love to use this as a resource for my year 12 HSC Mock work, i would love to have this peace in my performance, alli need is ur permission to use it and change like add and combine this with other monolugues
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 04:45
Louis Wong: dude, i'm a girl! that would be *MISS* Li -.- sorry, i'm tired of accidentally being called Mr. Li...ugh. But yes, you have my permission to use it as long as i am given credit in some form.
Submitted by Louis wong on Thu, 05/05/2011 - 01:08
Ty very much, sorry Ms. Li,
Submitted by Rob (not verified) on Sat, 06/04/2011 - 18:55
It says that it is only showing part of the script. I would like to know if there was a way that I could see the whole script because I would very much like to consider this as a performance act. Please let me know if there is a way.
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Sun, 06/05/2011 - 05:45
hmmm. you should be able to see the whole script. i ended up uploading this again (see my note on the other script) so go see the other upload that should show the full script. please let me know if you are still unable to access the entire script
Submitted by Rob (not verified) on Sun, 06/05/2011 - 09:29
Iam actually still unable to view because i cant find where the notes are on your other script.
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Sun, 06/05/2011 - 10:34
uh...what's your email? i can email you the script since this doesn't appear to be working... :/
Submitted by Rob (not verified) on Sun, 06/05/2011 - 10:48
That would be so awesome! My email is: godyear15@yahoo.com
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Sun, 06/05/2011 - 11:43
k, it's sent
Submitted by eliison (not verified) on Sun, 07/17/2011 - 04:54
i want to use this for my audition.
Submitted by caitlin (not verified) on Fri, 07/22/2011 - 16:47
this is fantastic! keep up the good work :)
Submitted by Jhoselyn (not verified) on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 14:56
Hi, this monologue is so funny! Can I use it for my theatre class?
Submitted by Christmastime on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 04:04
I love this can i use it in an aaudition i will give you credit?
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 13:46
All above, you may use this piece as needed for non-commercial purposes. Please give me credit for writing the piece though. Thanks!
Submitted by Anon (not verified) on Fri, 08/12/2011 - 17:04
I love this. I'm gonna use it for an audition for my school play if that's ok. I'll credit you and stuff.
Submitted by jksc on Wed, 08/17/2011 - 18:53
Hi Xiaoqi! I just wanted to ask you and see if it was possible to use this for an audition? Credit for your amazing piece of art will be given :) Thank you!
Submitted by ayushi (not verified) on Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:21
Heya....... Xiaoqi Li could I pleeeeeeeeeeease use your script for a school function??? i am from india. mail it to me if it suits you hoping for an affirmative reply:)
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 07:26
Like I've said before, I give permission to use my piece for said purposes. Good luck all :)
Submitted by Grace (not verified) on Thu, 09/08/2011 - 11:32
i love ur work and i do act monologues. Plz can i use ur work?
Submitted by Madison (not verified) on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 04:51
This Was Great!! I'll definatley be using this for an act in theatre. (With a few things changed.) Thanks!
Submitted by Tai (not verified) on Sun, 09/11/2011 - 19:09
Since it said your monologue can be use for public. I will be using your piece of "art" for my monologue in drama class. This is a fun script
Submitted by JP Ludwig (not verified) on Wed, 09/14/2011 - 14:32
My parents and I thought this piece was GREAT! Can I use it for an audition?
Submitted by geminitwilight (not verified) on Sat, 09/17/2011 - 07:31
sooooo ummm... i have a drama class audition and i was just wondering if i culd use this??... i know u said it was okay but is it ok if i change it up a little and still give some credit??? pleazzeeee
Submitted by mk (not verified) on Sun, 09/18/2011 - 08:09
hi, could i use this for an audition at school? its really good and i like it a lot (:
Submitted by chase (not verified) on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 12:30
hahah! Thats great...i moght have to use this for my play auditon!
Submitted by Hannah L. (not verified) on Tue, 09/20/2011 - 09:13
I'm thinking of using this as my audition peice for my school play i'm thinking you don't mind from your reply to all the comments above i'll be sure to mention your name(: Really funny!
Submitted by LUIS (not verified) on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 04:26
THIS IS FREAKING FUNNY...DO U MIND IF I USE IT TO SHOWCASE FOR NEXT PILOT SEASON IN LA?
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 10:12
Yes to all of the above for non commercial use, please give me credit :) and LUIS, please contact me further before you use my piece since it seems that ur thing would be commercial use. my email: runnr4life77@yahoo.com
Submitted by Tai (not verified) on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 04:06
this was good...mind if i use it for my debate tournament? :) keep it up :)
Submitted by Marion (not verified) on Mon, 10/17/2011 - 18:59
Hi this is too funny, I need to a monologue tomorrow and I was wondering if I could use it, I might change a little of the wording and stuff up like add twitter and stuff like that too make it more personal too me, but I will still give you credit if it is okay for me to use it.
Submitted by Savannah (not verified) on Thu, 10/20/2011 - 18:27
THIS IS AMAZING!! I need a comedic monologue for a college audition and this is absolutely perfect! Would you mind if I use it? I will, of course, give you credit...Let me know :) PS You are so talented!! This is great stuff!!
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 11:28
Tai, Marion, and Savannah-yes, you all may use my piece for your stated purposes. Good luck!
Submitted by Kat T (not verified) on Tue, 11/01/2011 - 14:46
Hey! Is it alright for me to use this for my monologue for my drama club if I cite you at the end?
Submitted by Emily bernal (not verified) on Thu, 11/03/2011 - 11:06
Wow, I really like this. I was looking for a funny monologue for an audition, and I came across this. May I use it please? I would really appreciate it, and will give you credit now and when I am famous! :D
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Sat, 11/05/2011 - 06:17
Kat T-yep, you have my permission. Emily-Haha yes, don't leave me out when you're famous! Best of luck to both of you!
Submitted by annie solidum (not verified) on Fri, 11/11/2011 - 12:46
what a nice script! may i use this for our school presentation? like it very much... can i have the full version of d script? thanks
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Fri, 11/11/2011 - 13:34
Annie-Thank you! Yes, you may use this script for your school purposes. I would like to state yet again this is the full script
Submitted by codiahcade on Sat, 11/12/2011 - 02:40
Hey imma use this. kk?
Submitted by Kontessa (not verified) on Wed, 11/16/2011 - 12:53
this is fantastic! Could I use this for my forensics piece? I am trying to find something that could greatly relate to teenagers, and this is fabulous! Thanks!
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 02:11
Hi Kontessa and codiahcade, you guys may use this. Sorry for the late reply! Hope your performances go/went well
Submitted by leelu (not verified) on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 21:48
its gud but i cant use it..............
Submitted by Briana (not verified) on Tue, 12/13/2011 - 14:59
Need a monologue for drama class. N' It has to be funny N' around 30 seconds , no longer than a minute. My teacher wants me to try out for our In Class Play !! :D Any suggestions ?
Submitted by Briana (not verified) on Tue, 12/13/2011 - 15:02
Oh and BTW: This is a great script! Keep it up ! :)
Submitted by kelsie (not verified) on Mon, 01/09/2012 - 09:44
hi this is great! do you mind if i use it for a school project? i promise ill give you credit
Submitted by portega3 on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 04:42
Hi Love your skit! Is it possibel for my students to use in a class project
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 07:58
Thanks everyone! Use of this script for school purposes is allowed
Submitted by Brady (not verified) on Tue, 01/17/2012 - 07:43
WOW, I just read your AMAZING monologue and I would love to to use it in an audition for a new school would mind if i could use it?
Submitted by Ashley (not verified) on Wed, 01/18/2012 - 11:21
This is great! I was wondering if I could use it for an upcoming forensics competition? Thanks!
Submitted by Saddles (not verified) on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 03:23
Can u plz rite me a funny monologue its for an adution it needs to be about something really funny but no swearing can u do it for tommorow thank u
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 15:20
Brady and Ashley-sorry about the late response, but yes, you guys do have my permission to use the piece. Saddles-I'm not available to write pieces for the public. Commercial and other requests may have exceptions.
Submitted by Aspire-to- be-a... (not verified) on Fri, 02/03/2012 - 09:25
Hi! I am going to a speech meet really soon and was wondering if I can use this piece? I am performing under the Humorous Monologue category. I think this script is really funny! If you don't mind I would be honored to perform this and if you would like give you the full credit! I hope you will respond really soon because if I get to use it I have to memorize it really quickly! Thanks :)
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Fri, 02/03/2012 - 14:43
Actress: You have my permission to use this for your stated purposes. If possible, I would love to see a video of your performance. Best of luck!
Submitted by Anthony Gomez (not verified) on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 07:07
May i please use this monologue for my audition next week ?
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 08:13
Anthony-go for it. Good luck!
Submitted by Samantha E (not verified) on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 07:10
It's a ver funny monologue. Good Job.Im going to audition for a play soon, could I use this please!
Submitted by charles (not verified) on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 11:45
thats very funny... Can I use it for a audition....i love it...very smart..
Submitted by John Marshall on Tue, 02/14/2012 - 05:34
Could I use this piece for my high school play audition?
Submitted by John Marshall on Tue, 02/14/2012 - 05:35
Oh, and can I change any references to gender to male for the purposes of my audition?
Submitted by Amanda (not verified) on Tue, 02/14/2012 - 14:04
This is awesome! I love the sarcasm and the development of the characters. The audience interaction is great, too. The twist at the end was perfect. It's something that I think a lot of people can relate to and it was told in a really funny way. Great job :) Really funny, I was laughing the whole time.
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Wed, 02/15/2012 - 05:11
Thank you, all of you guys! For those who asked to use this piece, you all have my permission with the guidelines I have previously specified. Best of luck to each of you!
Submitted by Shreeta (not verified) on Mon, 03/19/2012 - 17:36
This is sooo coool!!! May i please use this for my Drama class monologue? i will credit u for the script and everything.
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Tue, 03/20/2012 - 06:28
Shreeta-go for it. Good luck!
Submitted by George (not verified) on Thu, 03/22/2012 - 12:56
Hi I just want to make sure if I can use this for my audition..... This would be the perfect monologue for me!!!
Submitted by aninyeam (not verified) on Fri, 03/23/2012 - 12:34
this is a nice piece .can i use it for my english project?
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Sat, 03/24/2012 - 05:00
George and Aninyeam-yes, you guys may use this monologue. Like I've said, please give me credit. Thanks, and best of luck!
Submitted by 123kayla123 on Sun, 04/01/2012 - 04:59
May i please use this piece if i give you credit?
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Sun, 04/01/2012 - 08:19
Kaylove-yup. Good luck!
Submitted by spGas (not verified) on Wed, 04/04/2012 - 05:03
its too short
Submitted by Kaila (not verified) on Mon, 04/09/2012 - 11:14
May i please use this piece if i give you credit?
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Mon, 04/09/2012 - 12:01
Kaila-yep, go ahead. best of luck!
Submitted by kcpd on Sun, 04/22/2012 - 07:32
May I use this for a school performance for my drama class?
Submitted by kcpd on Sun, 04/22/2012 - 07:42
Also, can I change "damnit" to "dang it" please?
Submitted by kcpd on Sun, 04/22/2012 - 07:53
Also, sorry to have to change so much, but my school is kinda strict. Gun to baseball too if they don't like gun?
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Sun, 04/22/2012 - 08:05
kcpd, you may use my piece with the changes you described. I completely understand the thing with schools being strict. As I've said, please give me credit. Good luck!
Submitted by Rhona Russell on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 09:37
would love to use this for our amateur drama group if you did not mind. thanks
Submitted by Rhona Russell on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 09:38
would love to use this for our amateur drama group if you did not mind. thanks
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 15:01
rhona-go for it, as long as you respect the terms of usage as stated. Thanks, and good luck!
Submitted by Nina (not verified) on Thu, 05/10/2012 - 05:31
Hey! This is awesome and really funny! Is it okay for me to use it for practice or film me acting it? I will give you full credit, of course, if I performe it for someone... Thanks!
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Mon, 05/14/2012 - 06:01
Nina, go for it. Best of luck!
Submitted by Farah Way (not verified) on Fri, 05/18/2012 - 10:52
Hey, that, was amazing! i was looking up monologes for my school talent show, and then i came across this, i thought it was a really amazing piece. May i please use it if you dont mind?? :3
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Sat, 05/19/2012 - 06:50
Thanks, Farah! I don't mind at all. As I've said, please give me credit. Best of luck at your talent show!
Submitted by Alexandra sb (not verified) on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 06:46
Wow..... amazing job. I was wondering if I could use this work for my drama exam (or as you call it comedy exam or something)and I had been reading the comments and I think you should try your best to wright some more scripts because you are very talented at writing them. I will of course give you full credit for the script. From Alexandra ; )
Submitted by Alexandra sb (not verified) on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 06:48
Oh ya and pls respond if I am aloud to use this work cause I need it for monday (AND I NEED TO KNOW IT BY HEART!!!!)
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 08:20
Thanks Alexandra! You have my permission to use the piece as stated. I hope you do well on your exam!
Submitted by Jude (not verified) on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:38
Hey this is hilarious! May I use it in my acting class for our final monologue?
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 14:49
Thank you Jude! Go for it, best of luck!
Submitted by Magdalena (not verified) on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 14:36
I love your monologue. I was cracking up throughout the reading. May I use it for my upcoming speech and of course I'll give you the credit you deserve for your amazing speech!
Submitted by Lena (not verified) on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 08:04
Wow! i couldnt read this with a straight face! you are very talented! mind if i use this? :)
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 17:37
Thanks Lena and Magdalena! Yup, go ahead. Good luck!
Submitted by madison gomez (... (not verified) on Mon, 06/18/2012 - 04:46
dat was great it was so funny i use it for my acting classes online evrey day on my computer cuz my sister is ans amazing actress so thanks make some more it was halarious from madison gomez
Submitted by madison gomez (... (not verified) on Mon, 06/18/2012 - 04:49
the last sentence or paragraph was halarious good work madison gomez peace luv ya work
Submitted by Ian Loren182 (not verified) on Mon, 06/18/2012 - 06:26
it's a cute funny piece of work...a want to add it to my arsenal...
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Mon, 06/18/2012 - 08:24
Thanks Madison and Ian, I'm glad you guys liked it!
Submitted by madison gpmez (... (not verified) on Mon, 06/18/2012 - 12:11
hey u deserve it good work i luv it my sister selena gomez said hi good work
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Mon, 06/18/2012 - 15:01
Give my thanks to your sister Selena as well!
Submitted by lizzie (not verified) on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 05:13
i would love to use ur monologue its really amazing but my teachers want me to write one on my own and im not that creative like u r.
Submitted by VioletEmbers13 on Mon, 07/09/2012 - 14:04
I love this script! I would love to use this for my thespian competition in the fall! So may I use it? Please?
Submitted by jasmine v (not verified) on Sun, 07/22/2012 - 11:36
great job
Submitted by Katie Shanny (not verified) on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 16:27
This is really funny! Could I use it for a school audition?
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 14:59
Thanks guys! Sorry I haven't replied, I was on vacation. To those who used the monologue, hope you did well! Note to Lizzie-plagiarism is bad. if u were supposed to write ur own stuff you should do that. too tired to be more disciplinary and stuff. thanks again for reading and commenting
Submitted by Carly (not verified) on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 13:07
Could I use this in an audition as well? Thanks
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Thu, 08/02/2012 - 10:40
Carly-go for it
Submitted by Alisha (not verified) on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 19:23
hey awesome monologue was wondering if i could please use it for my drama class
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 13:43
Thanks Alisha! Yup, and as stated before, please credit me. Best of luck!
Submitted by RocketRagerr on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 11:23
can i use this for an audition? please? i can give u credit if u want!!!!!!
Submitted by Gaby (not verified) on Thu, 08/23/2012 - 13:30
Hi, read this like 5 times and more. I would love to use this in my drama class. Do you mind if I do????? I really love it!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Thu, 08/23/2012 - 14:44
Thanks Gabby! Sorry for the late response Hally, but yeah, go ahead. Same goes to you Gaby. Please give me credit, and good luck!
Submitted by Jensie-poo (not verified) on Tue, 09/04/2012 - 02:07
Hi Xiaoqi Li! I really enjoyed your monologue but do you by any chance have a 5 minute one? i can see that i like your work already! You have a very different perspective on everyday things and you use a good sense of humour in your work, but i really need a 5 minute one!! Thanks.....,......and i promise i will give you credit in my drama class!!
Submitted by Jensie-poo (not verified) on Tue, 09/04/2012 - 02:08
Hi Xiaoqi Li! I really enjoyed your monologue but do you by any chance have a 5 minute one? i can see that i like your work already! You have a very different perspective on everyday things and you use a good sense of humour in your work, but i really need a 5 minute one!! Thanks.....,......and i promise i will give you credit in my drama class!!
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Tue, 09/04/2012 - 14:44
Hi Jensie! I've only written two monologes-this, and the smartness monologue that can be found by either clicking on my profile or searching for it under monologues. I'm not sure how long it is, but you may use it with credit for your drama class. I'm glad you like my work, thanks!
Submitted by haley;] (not verified) on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 13:08
omg:] i did this for my theater class and everyone was lauging so hard. how ironic that it was one of the only girls without a cellphone talking about how a couldnt live without one x} awesome job;] keep writing:]
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 14:02
Thanks Haley, I'm glad to hear that! Haha I like your irony - keep laughing ;)
Submitted by Luke (not verified) on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 11:52
Id love to use this as a monologue for my tryout! Thanks:)
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 11:59
Hope your tryout goes well, Luke!
Submitted by michelle ayo (not verified) on Fri, 09/21/2012 - 14:47
i use for my pre -final Exam categorized "monologue" This is really great. May I use it ? if OK ?
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 02:41
Wow that was hilarious! I have been looking for a hilarious monologue for a few days and yours takes the cake! I'm going to be using this for my theatre presentation. Thank you for sharing your great talent keep writing!
Submitted by Ariel (not verified) on Sat, 09/29/2012 - 13:55
Hi there! Loved your monologue :) can I use it for an audition ? Thanks :)
Submitted by aZeane (not verified) on Sat, 09/29/2012 - 15:17
ahaha.. niCe work.. love it !
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Sat, 09/29/2012 - 15:23
Thanks guys! (sorry for the late response Michelle and Loko) Hope each of your auditions and whatnot goes well!
Submitted by OhKatiex19 on Sat, 09/29/2012 - 16:29
Hey! this script is hilarious I would love love loveee to use it as a monologue for a showcase. Would you be alright if I use it? credit to you, of course
Submitted by RetardedDinoRawr (not verified) on Sat, 10/06/2012 - 11:49
OMG HILARIOUS xD Please Can I Use This For My Acting Class...? Please reply fast because I need a monologe by Monday, October 8! Thanks Sooo Much, Your SO Funny xD
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Sat, 10/06/2012 - 12:48
Yup, hope it goes well! Sorry for the late reply Katy. Thanks guys!
Submitted by Aspire-to- be-a... (not verified) on Sun, 10/07/2012 - 12:30
I used this piece for a speech meet I went to a couple months back. It worked beautifully and I got a superior award! With your permission I would like to be able to use this with some revisions to make it a one minute monologue for an upcoming audition I have on Tuesday. So may I use it please?
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Wed, 10/10/2012 - 18:02
Whoa, congrats on winning an award! Yup, I'd love to hear how that goes. Please cite credit. Best of luck!
Submitted by Musicjoeyd on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 16:23
This is amazing and funny ! can use this for a presentation in my theatre arts class ?
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 16:33
Thanks Joseph! Yup, credit and jazz please. Good luck!
Submitted by penguinbritt (not verified) on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 00:51
This is one of the best monologues I've looked at yet but it's a shame it's so short... Nevertheless, I would love to use it as a part of my HSC (higher school certificate) drama monologue but only with your permission of course. I would definitely mention you as a key contributor to the development of my work as well as point out what parts of my performance were greatly influenced by this script. :) please and thank you ^_^
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 14:28
Hi penguinbritt, I'm glad you like it, thanks! Go ahead and use it as described. Best of luck! -Xiaoqi Li
Submitted by dakota (not verified) on Fri, 11/02/2012 - 15:20
Hey that was really funny! can i use this for my piece??
Submitted by Ifrah Andleeb (not verified) on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 23:37
IT IS OSSOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Submitted by Ifrah Andleeb (not verified) on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 23:39
IT IS OSSOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Submitted by Ifrah Andleeb (not verified) on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 23:42
its nice good job. i'm using it for my school competition.
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 07:19
Thanks! And yup, good luck guys!
Submitted by Cathrene (not verified) on Sat, 11/10/2012 - 23:37
.ilove this! i'll recommend this to my friend so that he can use it in our drama: acting class! and give you credits :)
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Sun, 11/11/2012 - 08:44
Awesome, thanks Cathrene!
Submitted by Freddy Martinez (not verified) on Mon, 11/26/2012 - 16:32
Hey this is an amazing piece! Hilarious Ans modern without using any cheesy or innappropriate tactics. I was wondering if I could really record myself performing this monologue and post it on YouTube. If so, how would you like me to give you credit? Is it fine if I dont pronounce your name? I'd rather not butcher it on the internet.
Submitted by Aj (not verified) on Tue, 11/27/2012 - 03:21
May i use this for an audition comming up in march?
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Tue, 11/27/2012 - 11:47
Freddy-thank you! I'm fine with that. Haha well it's pronounced "cho-chee." Please include me in the description of your video with a link to this or something. I'd love to see it! Best of luck!
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Tue, 11/27/2012 - 11:47
Aj-yup, credit and stuff please. Thanks, and good luck!
Submitted by Nikki (not verified) on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 10:59
Hey!! Omg! I love this piece!!!! Can I use in for a forensics presentation? I would mention your nameeee!!!!(:
Submitted by Nikki (not verified) on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 11:02
Also I need to know how to pronounce your name..sorry..):
Submitted by Ben (not verified) on Thu, 11/29/2012 - 12:10
Hey I really love this piece, and my school is holdingauditions for a play and we need a commedic monologue, would you mind if I used yours? I would give you full credit I just need your full name.
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Fri, 11/30/2012 - 13:04
Thanks Ben and NIkki! Go ahead. Haha my name is pronounced "cho-chee." My full name is Xiaoqi Li. Thanks for giving me credit, and best of luck guys!
Submitted by Gretta (not verified) on Sun, 12/02/2012 - 11:20
This is hillarous. May i use it in my audition Thank You :)
Submitted by J.Khoo (not verified) on Sun, 12/02/2012 - 20:52
Could I use this for school? It would be much appreciated!
Submitted by Amami on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 14:35
I love this! Could I please use it in my acting class? Thank you :)
Submitted by Ryan (not verified) on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 06:42
This is great, may I use it for my drama class?
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 13:03
Hi all-with credit given to me, yep. Hope it goes well!
Submitted by Tina (not verified) on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 03:13
This is really funny! And I know its been like, 3 months since it was submitted, but can I use it for my Drama Class for monologues?
Submitted by Sham (not verified) on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 09:41
Hey! I plan on using this for my audition for y school play, of course with credit given ;) You are extremely creative, and this is very well written :)
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 10:56
Thanks Sham, hope you get the part!
Submitted by Daphne (not verified) on Sun, 01/06/2013 - 13:18
Oh my gosh i love this! can i use this for my additoin? and what kjind of person is playing it? a nerd? a popular girl?
Submitted by Aiden (not verified) on Wed, 01/16/2013 - 12:42
I would have used this monologue, but I am a male teenager. I don't think it would fit to well. This really funny though, it's just awesome :D
Submitted by Diego (not verified) on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 16:07
I love this monologue and would love to use it in an audition! Would that be okay? And since I am also a male, can I change the 'boyfriend' to 'girlfriend', just switch gender roles. :D
Submitted by slim (not verified) on Sat, 01/19/2013 - 05:16
hey may i use ur script for my college stage show :)
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Sat, 01/19/2013 - 05:29
Hi all. I wouldn't necessarily say a "nerd" is playing this, but definitely a loner - hence the lack of friends on Facebook. Diego, this could definitely work for a guy if you change a few words such as that. Hope it went/goes well for everyone!
Submitted by Nic (not verified) on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 01:08
Hey Xiaoqi Li, this is a BRILLIANT piece! I was in tears laughing towards the end! Would you mind if I used it as a monologue and send you the link with credit to you if I film it? Thanks again!
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Sun, 01/27/2013 - 08:32
Thanks, Nic!! That sounds good. I look forward to watching your rendition of the monologue!
Submitted by Jesse torres (not verified) on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 07:12
i would love to preasent this in my class and so im asking u for permission and i will give you credit for this great monologue
Submitted by Christina (not verified) on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 17:41
Hello. I really love this monologue and I'm considering on using it for a class assignment on audition pieces. Would it be okay if I used it? Thank you.
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 13:43
Hi Christina and Jesse, you guys can use it with credit given. Hope it goes well!
Submitted by Sarah (not verified) on Wed, 02/13/2013 - 13:11
haha i like this :) if you dont mind i need a modern monologue to use in my theater class and i would like to use this. It is just a highschool class but as i read through your comments you would like some credit soo i will give credit where credit is due:)
Submitted by CLMaximo (not verified) on Sat, 02/16/2013 - 22:30
hey! i hope you wouldn't mind me using this piece for my Midtem monolouge and also my idea of revising it a little bit since I don't have a sliding phone and planning to borrow my friend's one. :))
Submitted by dancer1999 on Sun, 02/17/2013 - 11:06
I really love this peace and I would love to use this for an audition if that's alright. I will make sure to give you credit.
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Sun, 02/17/2013 - 13:16
Yup, go ahead. Sedinvelic, it's "piece," not "peace." Best of luck all!
Submitted by Lauren (not verified) on Sun, 03/10/2013 - 00:28
I really like this piece! Can I use it as my forensics piece? I will give you credit as the author! Thanks!
Submitted by Makayla (not verified) on Tue, 03/26/2013 - 14:15
Hey, I have this audition for this showcase called ARTS and I am completely in love with this and I was wondering if I could have permission to use it? It won't be for commercial use but it may be recorded and put on YouTube (no money will go to me or the company because of this though) and I will MOST CERTAINLY give you all credit as author and creator thanks :)
Submitted by aluna010@gmail.com (not verified) on Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:33
i was wondering if i could use ur speech as a monolouge for ferensics next year i totally failed my speech i just paniced!!!
Submitted by runnr4lfe77 on Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:18
Hey guys. To what you've said - basically, yes. Go ahead. I'm too tired to respond further :P Break a leg
Submitted by ilikepie (not verified) on Wed, 04/03/2013 - 10:05
This is really nice. Can I Use it for my drama class... plus we have to include who wrote it.
Submitted by Micheal Jensen (not verified) on Wed, 05/08/2013 - 04:53
Hi, thats so damn funny! Its one of the only like REALLY funny monologues here :P So i was wondering, if i could use this for a comedy skit? :) I already converted the monologue into a script, and its really great, i just wanted your permission ofcourse. I will give you full credit, and it is non profitable ofcourse ;)
Submitted by Kiearen (not verified) on Mon, 05/13/2013 - 03:09
Heyyy that was funnny
Submitted by maya (not verified) on Wed, 05/15/2013 - 10:32
may i use this for an audition coming up please
Submitted by Jean (not verified) on Tue, 05/21/2013 - 02:14
hey! this is really good, mind if I use it in an audition? Would give you credits, no doubt!
Submitted by gabby (not verified) on Sat, 10/12/2013 - 10:45
I love this so much!!!! Do you mind if I use it for my first audition? Thank you very much:) get back to me asap I can't wait to perform! Have a nice day
Submitted by Olivia (not verified) on Mon, 10/14/2013 - 14:09
Hey, can I use this for my drama class tomorrow? It's great!
Submitted by ravine (not verified) on Sat, 10/19/2013 - 23:17
i was so amused by this!..cn i use ds too for our upcoming book week celebration nxt month?..please...thank u so much!
Submitted by Ana (not verified) on Mon, 11/25/2013 - 05:52
This is really great! May I use it for my Oral Com monologue preformance?
Submitted by Carmella (not verified) on Fri, 12/27/2013 - 05:25
Hey there! This was an awesome monologue and I am using it for my Monologue midterm. However parts of it didn't make sense to me so I changed a bit of it. This is what I did: You know, everyone nowadays has a cell phone. ??????It's like their lives orbit around a rectangular piece of steel...and it's not even a sphere!??????I can???t disagree though???I???m one of those people that just can???t part with their phone. ??????Every few minutes I???ll check my phone. (mimes checking phone) Oh look! I have???zero missed calls, zero new texts, the Facebook frontier is quiet?????????Then I remember I???ve had zero incoming calls, zero texts and zero Facebook notifications for about 5 days straight. ^ever, I only have three friends on Facebook: mom, dad, and grandma. I used to have four but then grandpa died. ??????Anyways, I???ll still be sitting there, or standing there, no difference, with my phone, just messing around with it. ???I have one of those sliding phones???(towards audience) how many of you guys have had one of these sliding phones? ??????Well you guys know how addicting it is to just slide the phone back and forth? *click, clack, click, clack* ??????It???s lots of fun until suddenly, I got a call from my mom asking (With Quotes) ???What???s up??. *hello? Oh hi mom???.no I didn???t mean to call you???no I???m not at a bar right now???yes I know I don???t have a boyfriend???no need to rub it in???no! do not set me up with someone! Um I really have to go um???make dinner. Yes, at 2AM! *sighs* Love you (shake head mouthing ???not really??). Bye!* Later on, I???m going to bed???getting real sleepy???then my phone rings. I jumped out of bed, wide awake, ??ber excited for who is calling. I grab the water gun I always keep by me in case my cat attacks me or something...you know. I go around corner like they do in the movies, looking all cool like James Bond in his dino jammies. I go downstairs to the kitchen table where I find my phone buzzing away on full blast Nothing like a text alert full volume at 3 in the morning to get the heart pumping! Someone actually texted me! It was???my mom. Let???s see???I read my mom???s message first. It says that grandma died. Damnit! Now I only have two friends on Facebook.
Submitted by Cami (not verified) on Mon, 12/30/2013 - 08:24
This was amazing! May I use this for my audition?
Submitted by Cupcake (not verified) on Sun, 01/26/2014 - 06:40
Totally brilliant i used it on a audition and it went really well i gave you full credit for ur awesome piece hope u can do another one
Submitted by hans vandendenf... (not verified) on Mon, 01/27/2014 - 07:59
Hello. I do appreciate how well you wrote this monologue. However, I do prefer to think that it is largely colloquial. Nevertheless, I would like to use it for my academic speech competition. I will credit your work on it, of course.
Submitted by Abbydinger on Sun, 02/02/2014 - 12:27
Hello, Im dying laughing and would you mind if I used it for my monologue please!?- Abby
Submitted by wildcatlikethis on Sat, 02/15/2014 - 23:42
Hey, this is a great script! Would it be a problem if i use this for school?
Submitted by Katie Brooks (not verified) on Tue, 02/18/2014 - 13:14
Man this is an amazing script. Would it be a problem if I use it for school. You are an amazing writer.
Submitted by Kage on Fri, 02/21/2014 - 23:02
Hey there! I love this, it's great! I post videos of monologues that I act out on YouTube, could I use this? Of course all credit will go to you and that will be mentioned in the video.
Submitted by Ben Flores (not verified) on Tue, 05/13/2014 - 03:33
Hi! Can I use this for an audition for a summer acting job? You'll be mentioned in full credit
Submitted by Kim (not verified) on Tue, 05/20/2014 - 11:23
I love this!! Would you mind if I use this is an audition?
Submitted by Dustin Hewitt (not verified) on Sun, 06/01/2014 - 13:27
I love pen island!
Submitted by Sam (not verified) on Fri, 07/18/2014 - 03:50
Hello! I truly admire your piece.Can I use this as basis in my humorous speech presentation in school?
Submitted by addie (not verified) on Tue, 10/07/2014 - 13:32
Could I possibly use this for forensics this year? I really like it and think that It would be very fun to do.
Submitted by Alex (not verified) on Thu, 11/06/2014 - 08:27
Hi, Im Alex and I was wondering if I could use your speech in a school recitation contest. I think its really funny.
Submitted by Alex (not verified) on Thu, 11/06/2014 - 08:27
Hi, Im Alex and I was wondering if I could use your speech in a school recitation contest. I think its really funny.
Submitted by Madison W (not verified) on Sun, 11/09/2014 - 06:02
This is one great script!! May I please use this script for my forensics season. If I can please contact me at walkermadison688@gmail.com. Once again great job on the script.
Submitted by shreyas (not verified) on Mon, 11/24/2014 - 22:18
May please use this. I will give you all the credit. redicreredicredr
Submitted by Justin (not verified) on Sun, 12/07/2014 - 21:59
This is amazing! mind if I can use it for a audition?
Submitted by Sujata (not verified) on Mon, 01/26/2015 - 14:12
I love this piece! And it is sooo true!!! Would you allow me to use this piece for my Forensics?
Submitted by Patti C (not verified) on Tue, 02/17/2015 - 07:12
So today... may I please use this for an upcoming talent show.
Submitted by Gertty (not verified) on Sat, 03/07/2015 - 00:43
Is this from a play? I need to use a monologue from a play....
Submitted by robacs on Thu, 06/25/2015 - 14:28
i loved your script. i have a showcase coming up in a few months. i would love you use your script for my audition please. i am 29 years old and would like to send you a version with a couple of changes to accommodate the age gap. i would of course give you full credit since it was your brilliant idea. if you would like i could email you my idea for approval. I would absolutely love to use this for my showcase. please and thank you. Robacs
Submitted by Kaitlyn (not verified) on Tue, 08/04/2015 - 09:31
Hey I really love this script because it sounds alot like me!! Can I use it for my forensics season? I would give you credit and everything!
Submitted by Claudia (not verified) on Fri, 08/21/2015 - 15:51
WOW I really liked this! Do you mind if i use this for an audition please?
Submitted by Alex#russianmafia (not verified) on Wed, 09/16/2015 - 13:27
an you send this to my mail
Submitted by midhat (not verified) on Sun, 09/20/2015 - 09:18
may i use this in an audition for a school play i will add you as the author
Submitted by BoomTheDeino on Wed, 09/30/2015 - 08:14
May I use this for a extra curricular class for school?
Submitted by Basia (not verified) on Sat, 10/10/2015 - 19:09
Hi I love your monologue. It's great!!! I'm looking for monologues and skits for my lower secondary students .They are going to take part in an inter school competition. The purpose of the competition is to promote English language. May we use your text for this purpose? We won't get any money just certificates and, if we win,some prizes like books.
Submitted by jade (not verified) on Tue, 11/03/2015 - 05:30
hi... i really love this piece and ijust wanted to find out a little more about the charater build up and what led up to this event. i am a student in grade 10 of high school in South Africa and would just like to know if i may use this piece and perhaps find out more about the charater? i shall make use of your name in credits of course :)
Submitted by D Bakkum (not verified) on Wed, 11/04/2015 - 12:03
Can we adapt this script (add to it) for a Humorous Solo competition? Thanks!
Submitted by Isabelle Stiefel (not verified) on Sun, 11/15/2015 - 16:33
i loved this script could i use it as my piece for my Drama Foresics meet
Submitted by Abbydoodlecool17 (not verified) on Wed, 11/18/2015 - 15:27
I have a couple questions. First of all may I use this for my forensic piece?secondly, may I change some of the words so it could be more appropriate for my school?
Submitted by milky_fitzherbert on Mon, 01/04/2016 - 07:56
May I use this script for my speech class. I really like the humor used in it and thought it would be great to use!
Submitted by mae (not verified) on Tue, 02/02/2016 - 20:34
Hello. I really like this piece. It's very nice. Can I please use it for my speech class' presentation? Thank you very much
Submitted by TJ Stimpson (not verified) on Tue, 02/23/2016 - 03:54
I for one loved it.
Submitted by Mr Grammer (not verified) on Sat, 05/28/2016 - 15:31
When you said get to the room you spelled "the" twice
Submitted by Stephanie Walker (not verified) on Fri, 09/16/2016 - 06:03
Hi i really enjoy your monoluge can i use it in america's got talent
Submitted by blue (not verified) on Tue, 01/10/2017 - 23:31
hey can i use this for askit in youtube? i'll give credits. and i'll look forward to more of your skits
Submitted by geniegraydon on Wed, 03/29/2017 - 13:20
Hey, may I use your monologue for my forensics tournament at my school with a few changes? I love this piece, and look forward to seeing more by you!!

1 Person 3m Comedy Monologues - Cell Phones