Trapped in a Monologue

Trapped in a Monologue

(7m)   by Jalvarez42

Comedy Monologues   (298697 Views 214 Comments)


I have had all sorts of problems lately. I lost my job. My dog ran away. The taxes are always there. My car broke down. I got a terrible rash that I'd perfer not to talk about right now. Oh, and my bathtub randomly exploded. EXPLODED. Don't ask. I don't even know. I mean seriously! I'm not trying to question the universe or anything, but that kind of stuff just plain doesn't happen! It definiatly ruined my day. And don't even get me started on the crap that's on daytime television nowadays.

Its like the entire world is against me. Like I'm just a fictional character for some twisted writer to vent his anger on to make himself feel better about his own life. I know it sounds ridiculous but that's the only thing I can compare it to.

You know what? I'm being selfish. I've just been telling you all about my problems. I never listen to what you have to say. How's life? (long pause)

Hey, wait just a second here. Something's wrong. (looks around) What the hell....? I'm not talking to anybody! I've been talking to myself this whole time!

Am I crazy? Now that I think about it, I don't even remember getting here. (thinks hard) I can't remember anything before me saying "I have had all sorts of problems lately."

I can't remember any of my life! It's like my life started with that sentence and there was nothing before it!

Ok, ok, ok, pal, don't panic. There's got to be some reasonable explanation, right? Let's see. Where am I? I'm in some sort Alright, that's a start. My god, why do I feel so comfortable talking to myself? Wait. There's people. They're just sitting there.....watching me...

(*gasp*) They must be some kind  of alien race that abducted me and fed me a drug that made me forget my entire life and talk to myself like some kind of mental patient!

Hey! Aliens! Can you here me! I'm on to you! I know what your doing! You want me to freak out until I give up the name and location of the President so you can control his mind and have all of mankind at your command! Well guess what, alien scum! When you brainwashed me, you made me forget everything about the president too! Boy, did you guys screw up! Not so advanced now are ya? Are ya?!?! You guys got yourself into some deep crap this time! Emperor Farquexitonimolaguniasiumtron isn't going to be to happy about that is he?!

Wait. They don't LOOK like aliens. Hmm. Maybe I jumped the gun a little there. Maybe they'll respond if I ask them what's going on.

Hey! You! Yes, you! Where am I and how did I get here? Stop just staring at me like that! Answer my question! Why are you just watching? Do you want me to do a trick or something? Your staring at me like you're a patron an audience!

(long pause)Wait. These people...this room...those lights....that hairstyle.... I know what this is! I know where I am! This IS an audience! My greatest fear has finally come true... I'M TRAPPED IN A MONOLOGUE!!(goes to his knees, throws hands into the air)


(silence, then finally) If this is a monologue, and I have no doubt in my mind that it is, that means that it's only a matter of time! Once the actor says "scene," it's all over for me! I may only have seconds to live. Okay, calm down. I just have to convince him not to say it! Yeah! I'm sure I'm being played by a decent guy. He'll understand.

Ahem. Uh, hey, Actor! Whatever you do do not say the word "scene!" I'm begging you! If you say that word, it's all over for me! Oh, jeez is he even listening to me? Hey, your a good guy, right? We're on the same team here! If you have any decency at all, you will not say that word! Please!

Oh, no. I feel myself fading away! That can only mean one thing! He's about to break character! The scene's almost over!

Come on, man, think about what you're doing! You can't just bring someone to life just to make them blink out of existance in a time span of a few minutes! What kind of example would you be setting for your peers?!

(gets on his knees and starts to grovel) Please, please, please, PLEASE!! Do not say----


Comedy Type: Script Length: Post date: Script Market:

Author's Message

You may go through scenes and monologues pretending to be the characters in them, but have you ever wondered what it's like to ACTUALLY BE them? Me neither! However that did not stop me from writing this! No need to ask me for my permission to use this! Feel free!

Copyright Statement




Submitted by Hope (not verified) on Wed, 12/15/2010 - 15:06
OMG!! i love it lol!! can i use this for speech at school?
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Mon, 12/20/2010 - 09:14
yes of course you can, Hope.
Submitted by Alyssa swortwood on Tue, 01/04/2011 - 12:55
Hi I would like to ask for permission to use this for a Humorous piece for Forensics. I just loved it so much, please write back to me asap :)
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 06:23
haha yes, alyssa. I'm glad you liked it.
Submitted by bri (not verified) on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 01:23
I need this for a speech competition can i use it?
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 07:01
Submitted by yasmin abdulla (not verified) on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 06:20
omg this was soo funny , hahahah i love it so much !! may i use it !?
Submitted by antonio (not verified) on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 06:24
this was a very good monologue . :) actually i have to present a monologue of my own next week in drama class. Any advices ? because it would be my first time doing a monologue :P
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 07:26
Just for reference, anybody can use this monologue without permission. I'm honored that you would want to use it.
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Fri, 01/21/2011 - 07:32
and antonio when you present a monologue, remember not to just say the words. you must put yourself in your characters shoes. If your talking about a tree, see the tree. Think about what your character would do in his situation. Think about it. When was the last time you've seen someone talk and not add any emotion or physicality to what they are saying? Unless you were talking to a robot, probably never. And remember, it is more important to know your character than to memorize the monologue.
Submitted by Yesitsme (not verified) on Sat, 01/22/2011 - 22:35
hey, I'd like to use this in my drama class, but as I'm from Finland I dont understand the ending of this text. What does it mean when the actor says "scene"?
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Sun, 01/23/2011 - 03:55
Well I'm not sure how common it is, but here, when we are presenting a scene or monologue by itself, we often end it by saying "thank you" or "scene". I'm not sure why thats what is said, but it is generally accepted as a proper way to end a scene. Do you have a different way of ending your scenes? If you do, try filling it in with that instead. Or maybe, just forget the whole "scene" thing and just have the character worried that the scene is about to end. "Please, please, PLEASE, do not end the-" and then end the scene. Just a suggestion.
Submitted by Yesitsme (not verified) on Sun, 01/23/2011 - 06:06
ok thanks a lot :)
Submitted by Endea State (not verified) on Sat, 02/26/2011 - 05:15
that was great mono im taking drama class and i am honored that my cousin told me about this mono i am going to use it (thanks 4 letting me use it) i love it i fell in love with it great job and i love the ending please please please dont say scene your a genus keep up the good work
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Mon, 02/28/2011 - 12:18
hey guys don't forget to tell me how your performances go! I did this for a showcase and the audience members started to talk to me when I began to address them. They weren't supposed to do that so I had to improvise.
Submitted by Niahjel (not verified) on Thu, 03/17/2011 - 14:41
Hi I'm niahjel I really love this piece and I want to let u know this got me in to the finals on a contest called rchmond speaking contest in bufallo ny
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Fri, 03/18/2011 - 15:40
Amazing job Niahjel! But it was more likely your talent that got you there than my monologue.
Submitted by Abraham (not verified) on Sun, 03/20/2011 - 04:52
This is perfect! Do you mind if I use it for my speech class?
Submitted by Colton W (not verified) on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 05:46
Is this piece actually published as an authorized piece (in print)? I'd really like to use this piece during speech and debate
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 11:46
Well no it's not, I haven't got it published. So if it needs to be published for you to use it, you out of luck. But if it doesn't need to be, by all means, feel free to use it.
Submitted by Amber (not verified) on Tue, 05/10/2011 - 14:29
Hey do u mind me using this for a talent show?? I FELL IN LOVE WITH THE SCRIPT!
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 10:30
Heck yeah you can.
Submitted by whitney (not verified) on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 08:11
i love this and im using it for my final project in my theatre and acting class. but i was wondering if this was the entire play?
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 11:54
yes whitney this is the entire thing. hope they enjoy it!
Submitted by whitney (not verified) on Sat, 06/04/2011 - 07:54
thank you!
Submitted by whitney (not verified) on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 03:51
where did you write this play?
Submitted by whitney (not verified) on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 03:56
and when did you write this play?
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 09:03
I wrote it a few months my that what you're asking?
Submitted by whitney (not verified) on Thu, 06/09/2011 - 03:25
what was the date? and the state/ place you live in? :]
Submitted by whitney (not verified) on Thu, 06/09/2011 - 07:21
i need this information because its required for my project. :]
Submitted by icomedytv on Thu, 06/09/2011 - 07:56
whitney - if you sign up you can send him personal message.
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 12:56
I believe it was december 14th last year and I live in Fountain Valley California
Submitted by William (not verified) on Sun, 08/21/2011 - 05:47
Hey can I use this for an HI at my school?
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Thu, 08/25/2011 - 13:02
Sorry for the late response of course you can, William!
Submitted by ijerkhard679 on Tue, 08/30/2011 - 15:26
omg this monologue is hilarious i was wonderin could i use this for one of my humorous speeches??? answer back A.S.A.P
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Thu, 09/01/2011 - 10:27
Yep you can!
Submitted by man2sting (not verified) on Tue, 09/20/2011 - 02:24
I'm not a native speaker of English, but I like writing comedy. And am learning to tickle everyone fancy by running a blog named Mr. Nurman learns to tickle your fancy. I think this site is worth-sharing and this monologue script is inspiring. Wish you luck, Jeremy!
Submitted by Caroline (not verified) on Thu, 09/29/2011 - 12:30
can i use this??????
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Thu, 09/29/2011 - 16:37
Of course you can Caroline.
Submitted by Dillan (not verified) on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 03:55
hi i really like this monolouge and was wondering if i could use this for my speech and debate club credidation monolouge
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 05:23
Heck yes you may!
Submitted by Diana (not verified) on Sun, 10/09/2011 - 05:39
This is awesome! Could i use this in school?
Submitted by Namrata (not verified) on Sun, 10/09/2011 - 09:40
I know you've said that we can use it without your permission, but just in case I would like to use this for a theater tournament so may I have your permission?
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Sun, 10/09/2011 - 09:45
Yes to the both of you. Best of luck, guys!
Submitted by shig (not verified) on Tue, 10/11/2011 - 13:27
hahaha too funny i would love to use this for my drama class at helena high school i thought it would be more proffesional to ask your permission first
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Tue, 10/11/2011 - 16:43
Yo, dawg that would be flippin' off da hook if you used my script. (I just gave you my permission in the least professional way possible.)
Submitted by Thomas (not verified) on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 04:01
Yo, dawg that would be flippin' off da hook if i used yo' script. (I just be askin' yo' fo' pomission in da' most professional wa' no' doable.)
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 04:26
How dare you ask me like that! No you may not use the script!
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 04:28
Kidding. You may use it.
Submitted by Cassidy (not verified) on Sat, 10/15/2011 - 15:41
Omg this was so hilarious i love your monologues you should try and publish them im serious! you are tottally good enough i showed some of my friends it and the LOVED it!!
Submitted by bgwinstonfc30 on Sat, 10/22/2011 - 15:50
hey, i'm audtioning for a college drama scholarship. can i use this possibly? that'd be great! :)
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Sat, 10/22/2011 - 19:22
Of course! I am honored that you think my script is scholarship-worthy! Tell me how it goes!
Submitted by Shashwat Dalal (not verified) on Mon, 10/24/2011 - 23:55
i love this monologue may i please use it for a speech contest even my coach says that this would be a great humerus peace :)
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Tue, 10/25/2011 - 02:12
Go right ahead!
Submitted by Annie (not verified) on Tue, 10/25/2011 - 19:42
Can i please use this????
Submitted by Mary (not verified) on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 11:21
Are you considering publishing this in any form? I would love to use it for Speech and Debate but only publish works are allowed. Please keep me updated on the published status of this script.
Submitted by Lauren (not verified) on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 21:57
Hey, i absolutely loved this! I was wondering if you had any background information i could go off? because i'd really like to understand this character more thoroughly :)
Submitted by sharna smith (not verified) on Sun, 11/06/2011 - 12:26
man this is so awsum i really like it its the best i have read man 9999999/10
Submitted by Just a person (not verified) on Mon, 11/07/2011 - 23:48
U SIRIOUSLY ROCK DUDE!!!!! of the best onolougs in the history of best monolougs........ <3 it.
Submitted by Nick Mabuka (not verified) on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 12:13
This is what I've been imagining for a while i didn't actually know someone else had the same perspective lol i thought people would think am mad and crazy. Good Job i love it :)
Submitted by kristel lee (not verified) on Sat, 11/12/2011 - 14:43
hello!! This piece TOTALLY ROCKS!!! XD Its very hilarious and it really suits my personality.. Can I use this piece?? I'm going to perform this week for our English Week Culmination.. :D
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Mon, 11/14/2011 - 11:24
Submitted by mady (not verified) on Mon, 11/14/2011 - 13:29
hey! may i use this monologue for an audition? It was sooo good!
Submitted by Bo (not verified) on Tue, 11/15/2011 - 09:57
I read through the monologue and to be honest...I LOVE IT! Only problem is it is a tad long for what i need would you be okay if i shaved it down a bit for my audition? Wonderful job
Submitted by Rafael (not verified) on Thu, 11/17/2011 - 16:38
This is GREAT! I think your a great writer! Keep up the goodwork!.. would you mind if i used this monologue of yours? I admired it., and can you give me some advice.. to easily memorize this wonderful piece? Thank you.. :))
Submitted by jtenney (not verified) on Sun, 11/27/2011 - 10:12
How do you pronounce the emporors name I want to do it for a monologue
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Tue, 11/29/2011 - 09:00
Sorry I haven't been on this site in a while. To all you who asked for my permission to use this, the answer is YES! Also, it doesn't matter how you pronounce the Emperors name. He's not real. I don't think he will be offended if you mispronounce it.
Submitted by briana <3 (not verified) on Tue, 12/13/2011 - 15:08
Thanks to this script i got into my play in drama class (; Thankss!!!
Submitted by Katy (not verified) on Wed, 12/14/2011 - 12:54
This is hilarious! and its so perfect! thanks for the "no copyright", i am sure this will help me ace ANY audition!
Submitted by Jade (not verified) on Fri, 12/16/2011 - 19:46
This is AMAZING!!! can i use it for a school audition??
Submitted by Vanessa peacock (not verified) on Thu, 12/29/2011 - 08:42
Wow I love this! I know you said no need to ask permission, but my manners persuade me otherwise to ask if I can use this in a competition
Submitted by joe Juarez (not verified) on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 08:41
Hey I make videos and I would love to make a video of this...I will give you credit in the video..I'm not a company or anything, just an amateur video maker
Submitted by sharanjhn (not verified) on Sat, 01/07/2012 - 01:44
I was goin to use ur script 4 a short film. Is it possible? Its only for a portfolio
Submitted by Jessie (not verified) on Sat, 01/07/2012 - 04:59
I was wondering if i could use this for forensics in my school? if so that would be awsome!
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Sun, 01/08/2012 - 04:03
Yes! All yalls may use this script! No need to ask me!
Submitted by diana (not verified) on Tue, 01/17/2012 - 17:15
what costume shall i wear....i'm going to perform this piece next week...thanks:))
Submitted by Liv (not verified) on Tue, 01/24/2012 - 16:01
Hey, you seem to be saying yes, no question about it.. but the whole :"If you are going to use this script in ANY form you must get permission" (insert angry face >:[ )scared me a bit, I wont lie. Soooooooooooooooo can I please use the first half of this for drama? xxx
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Wed, 01/25/2012 - 07:12
No! You may only use the second half!!!! Just kidding, of course you may. Also, to may use whatever costume you like. There really isn't anything you need in particular. Perfome it in a lobster costume if you want.
Submitted by Manny on Sun, 01/29/2012 - 15:49
This is such a funny Monologue! In May I'll have to audition for IB theater and i would really like to use this awesome monologue for it! its perfect i can showcase emotion, comedic skills and anger! May I please Use this Monologue Jeremey Alvarez?
Submitted by kiana (not verified) on Sun, 01/29/2012 - 16:26
You said in the comments we dont need to ask to use it, but its in private mode so thats why everyone is asking ha:) might wanna set it to public... soo can i use this??? haha
Submitted by kiana (not verified) on Sun, 01/29/2012 - 16:27
oh wait its set to public but it still says to ask the author haha
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Sun, 01/29/2012 - 17:03
Go right ahead, guys!
Submitted by Drew Glidewell (not verified) on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 05:59
Hey, I was wondering if I may use this monologue for my Theatre Appreciation Monologue at John A Logan College?
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 10:29
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 10:35
Hey there, icomedytv-goers! I just wanted to say how flattered I am that so many people like my script. I apologize in advance if I start not responding to requests to use it. I have a full load this semester and I will be absolutely swamped with work for the majority of it. Just a reminder, you MAY USE this script WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. It makes it easier for the both of us plus I get free publicity. Thanks guys. Merry Monologuing!
Submitted by shie (not verified) on Sat, 02/11/2012 - 15:33
hi,,,,,thanks 4 your permission,,,...
Submitted by jn (not verified) on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 11:55
Hey I'm using your monologue and I'm just wondering if there is any possible way to extend the length?
Submitted by Jn (not verified) on Tue, 02/14/2012 - 12:58
I'm also wondering if you plan to get this speech published and if per chance it already is what is the isbn code?
Submitted by Mirela S. (not verified) on Sat, 02/18/2012 - 20:46
hey! I loved your monologue. this is really amazing :) I live in Brazil, and I'll send my email and video for London Academy of Dramatic Arts and try to get in. I need two monologues, one classical and one modern. I would be extremely happy if you give me the permission to use your. thank you. :)
Submitted by RRR7777 on Sun, 02/26/2012 - 07:59
Can I use this at school?
Submitted by Russell Freed (not verified) on Mon, 02/27/2012 - 12:32
May I use this piece for a speech tournament?
Submitted by hithere on Sun, 03/11/2012 - 15:03
i tried saying it and it was only like 4 minutes. do you think you can help me find a REALLY FUNNY monologue for teens with no inappropriate things thats 5 minutes? i need it by tmorrow
Submitted by stevue24 on Sun, 04/15/2012 - 11:43
I really need to use this monologue for my next performance Jeremy! I have a performance for my oral presentation class soon and I would love to borrow this. I love this piece! It would be awesome if you sent me the whole thing, it would be awesome!
Submitted by MonkeyS**t (not verified) on Fri, 04/20/2012 - 13:16
WOW this is so good man, I would love to use this, I will give credit to you :)
Submitted by Haze on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 09:15
Wow I love this piece! May I please please please use it for forensics? :)
Submitted by selahangel1 on Tue, 05/15/2012 - 14:59
Is that not the funniest thing you have ever scene (hehe scene get it) Can I please use this for forensics I don't get to use it until next season byt hey. Thank you
Submitted by madison gomez (... (not verified) on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 02:10
that was halarious good work
Submitted by taytayyy16 on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 17:00
Can I use it in my Drama club for school? Too funny.(:
Submitted by JordanArr0304 on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 08:52
Hahaha this is hilarious, may I use this for my theater class I need a five minute monologue for a solo acting competition for a test grade, and I thought this is perfect because a so funny.
Submitted by Sine (not verified) on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 05:39
Hey, I'm just wondering if I can use this? It's FRIKIN hilarious!
Submitted by Mottledfox (not verified) on Sun, 09/30/2012 - 00:48
Very clever- thank you a lot for sharing this. I really like how the excitement carries on, and the piece remains engaging throughout. Fun and original.
Submitted by Claudia (not verified) on Tue, 10/16/2012 - 15:00
This is super funny, and in order to use a script for my speech and debate it must be published and have an ISBN number, does yours by any chance have one?
Submitted by Jalvarez42 on Sun, 10/21/2012 - 07:55
This is not a published work. If you wish to use this, you have my permission.
Submitted by Korinna (not verified) on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 12:17
Aha, this is funny! Is it okay if I use this for a performance for school? Thanks in advance~
Submitted by DramaFreak202 on Sat, 11/10/2012 - 06:30
I Am Absolutly in love with this Monolouge and I need one for Theatre Competetion this year and One for Speech and Debate Competition and I was just wondering if I could use this one
Submitted by ecarth on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 07:42
I love this monologue! I am assuming it's okay if I use it for school, since you let everyone else use it. One question though, What does it mean when it says "that hairstyle"? Does it mean the hairstyle of the character, or someone in the audience?
Submitted by Satwik Srikrishnan (not verified) on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 20:27
Hey ! Would you know what type of comedy this monologue is ? I am using it at school!
Submitted by Ashley (not verified) on Sun, 12/02/2012 - 17:17
Just saying..this monologue is genius. I'll definitely be using this in my acting class and giving you all the credit! Keep writing my friend!
Submitted by Areyoufeelingwicked on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 11:30
This script, I hope you know, is completely and totally BRILLIANT
Submitted by mustafa (not verified) on Mon, 12/17/2012 - 03:09
OMG! this monologue was absolutely brilliant! i loved it... im using it for my finals day after tomorrow, any advice?
Submitted by Emome143 on Sun, 12/30/2012 - 13:20
Hey! this monologue is funny and my coach/teacher think so to. i was wondering if i could use it. Its Brilliant!
Submitted by shaneen (not verified) on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 03:37
hey I loved this monolouge! Can I please use it for my school play audition? plz answer asap. One more thing can you get someone in the audience to say scene?
Submitted by Aiden (not verified) on Wed, 01/16/2013 - 12:53
I am definitely going to use this for my auditions for becoming an intern at my local showboat!!! This is just awesome!! Hilariousness!!! (Other complementary words that will complement how severely fantastic this monologue is)!!!!!!
Submitted by Aiden (not verified) on Wed, 01/16/2013 - 12:55
I hope you don't mind :)
Submitted by AdamBurns on Tue, 02/05/2013 - 21:28
I love this! Would it be alright for me to use this for my High School Forensics meets? I think it would really bring some laughs
Submitted by Joseph Sarrao (not verified) on Mon, 02/11/2013 - 10:49
I was wondering if I could use this monologue at my school speech contest. I need something funny and I think that this monologue is very well written. Could you reply back as soon as possible. I must have it memorized by February 25th.
Submitted by Peter (not verified) on Sun, 02/17/2013 - 15:17
This is brilliant. I am definitely using it for my forensics competiton
Submitted by Sarah (not verified) on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 09:45
wow! this is so cool! May I use it for my speech. I need a script to recite. its my assignment.
Submitted by kyle (not verified) on Thu, 02/28/2013 - 10:45
I have to create my own monologue for drama class and I'm not very good at creating material and cant find anything to inspire me can you help me because this was obviously very good.
Submitted by Ben Claas (not verified) on Wed, 03/06/2013 - 13:12
Jeremy, Thank you so much! I used your piece for my class assignment and I got an A+! All the people in my class loved it. I love the way you created this character. It is so out of the ordinary and I love it! I'm using this in a competition next week, I'll be sure to give you full credit for writing it. Keep up the good work! You are so talented!
Submitted by sibel (not verified) on Sun, 03/10/2013 - 05:46
hey i want to use this for my coursework but i need to know if this is a published monologue? or is this only found on the internet? i really need fast response its due thursday :/
Submitted by sibel (not verified) on Sun, 03/10/2013 - 05:47
hey i want to use this for my coursework but i need to know if this is a published monologue? or is this only found on the internet? i really need fast response its due thursday :/
Submitted by sibel (not verified) on Sun, 03/10/2013 - 05:47
hey i want to use this for my coursework but i need to know if this is a published monologue? or is this only found on the internet? i really need fast response its due thursday :/
Submitted by lrh2015 (not verified) on Fri, 04/05/2013 - 16:28
I am confused about what the monologue is about?
Submitted by HI (not verified) on Sat, 04/20/2013 - 08:43
Can i use this for humorous interpretation on y next meet please though i require the author who wrote it.
Submitted by HI (not verified) on Sat, 04/20/2013 - 08:50
Thanks for letting me use it and writing it you are very talented and if it weren't for you I would be stuck with my previous humorous speech that was very hard to do because the characters went back and forth and i got 50th to last the judges even told me for future reference to pick a different script THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!
Submitted by April (not verified) on Tue, 04/23/2013 - 16:12
How would you pronounce the emperors name or just substitute? Also the sentence "I'm sure I'm being played by a decent guy" since I'm a female performing this monologue I should replace with "decent gal ". Would appreciate your input. Thanks
Submitted by Inthesouth (not verified) on Tue, 05/14/2013 - 02:20
I really like this script but I've noticed one thing which MAY HELP PEOPLE WHO ARE THINKING OF PERFORMING THIS. As the main character's worst fear is being trapped in a monologue, it is fair to say that the characters would dislike public speaking/acting. Therefore a fault I have noticed is instead of the character becoming more loud and confident, he should have became more nervous, quieter even, as the end of the monologue neared. But overall really like it and will definitely use this for my upcoming performance.
Submitted by kawaiishelley (not verified) on Wed, 07/10/2013 - 19:25
i fell in love with your script and im planning to use it in my acting class because we are required to do monologues. if possible may i use it?. im starting to memorize it and by the end ill put a lot of emotions and actions also, I would like to say good job on making this. truly wonderful. I bet that my classmates will fell in love with this as well. Ill do my best!
Submitted by lucy (not verified) on Thu, 07/11/2013 - 22:03
heey im just wondering if i can use this for a drama performance as it would mean alot if i could please! Thank you! :)
Submitted by rainingsilver on Tue, 07/30/2013 - 12:58
Can I please use in my next years Forensics competition? It really is a great piece.
Submitted by Alli (not verified) on Wed, 09/04/2013 - 05:33
I love this ! Could I use this to try out for fall play ?
Submitted by khuie2017 on Fri, 09/13/2013 - 03:11
This is just. amazing. I would like to ask permission to read an excerpt from it for an audition I have on Monday.
Submitted by lnguyen6 on Sat, 11/09/2013 - 11:51
Hey Jeremy! I like this script, may I use it in my monologue?
Submitted by Chintan (not verified) on Wed, 11/27/2013 - 22:19
Amazing script! :D
Submitted by Thomas Dye (not verified) on Thu, 12/12/2013 - 14:46
Hey Jeramy i have a forensics tourn coming up may i please use this Please respond asap its tomorrow lol
Submitted by Casey Jenkins (not verified) on Mon, 01/20/2014 - 05:40
Hey great monologue, I used it for an audition. I'm sorry for not asking before hand, but my teacher loved it so much we are using it in our play in place of a skit. Would it be ok with you if we used it?
Submitted by Francie Michas (not verified) on Tue, 01/21/2014 - 13:43
Awesome piece! My son, who is in 4th grade, would like to use it for his school wide speech competition. It definitely is a winner. We may change a couple things in the beginning like... "I lost my homework, my dog ran away, and our car broke down..." Can't wait for him to get started. So glad I stumbled upon this amazing piece! Do you have any other monologues or plays?
Submitted by Kyle Wolnik (not verified) on Mon, 01/27/2014 - 00:38
May I please use this for forensics. It is important that I know soon. Thanks
Submitted by Aiden M. (not verified) on Tue, 01/28/2014 - 02:47
I would like to know if I can use this monologue for speech at my school. It is a really hilarious monologue and it would be really fun to perform.
Submitted by Aiden M. (not verified) on Tue, 01/28/2014 - 14:19
Just saw your comment about letting people use it, so I'm going to use it unless you say not to (which I don't know why you would). So thank you! :)
Submitted by brittany (not verified) on Wed, 01/29/2014 - 10:36
this is just the monologue i need for my IP. May i have your permission to go print this off
Submitted by savannah (not verified) on Thu, 02/20/2014 - 13:09
Hey! I would love to use this monologue for a DI piece? Please let me know soon!
Submitted by Nina Shafon on Sun, 03/02/2014 - 10:38
This is really great & funny, can I use this? :)
Submitted by Deena Davis (not verified) on Sun, 03/09/2014 - 23:46
I'm in a competition and I would love to use this piece. I think it is very well written. May I please use this?
Submitted by Deena Davis (not verified) on Mon, 03/10/2014 - 07:57
I love this piece and I would like to use it. I need to know by Friday please. Its very important. Email me at This piece is very well written.
Submitted by Lucy Starlight (not verified) on Mon, 03/10/2014 - 18:00
Hey! This is awesome and I am going to use it for my monolouge assessment! Just wonderng if your intention was for it to be a sad peice towards the end as my drama teacher said that it would be better as a dramatic/ tradgic ending. Thankyou!
Submitted by Ebonie (not verified) on Thu, 05/01/2014 - 14:57
hi i was just wondering if i could use this script for my assessment taks in drama
Submitted by ariannapearl on Wed, 10/01/2014 - 12:55
Submitted by Kelly miller (not verified) on Tue, 10/14/2014 - 23:04
Hi Jeremy, I was wondering if I could use this monologue for my HSC piece. I know you have already said everyone is welcome to use it but I just wanted to make sure, thanks!
Submitted by The_Epic_Fail79 (not verified) on Sun, 10/26/2014 - 22:08
I found this monologue months ago and loved it so I saved it to my phone and have been trying to find an excuse to really knuckle down and learn it. In my drama group they are doing an end of year concert and I am not in a play and the teacher said I can do any monologue of my choosing and I immediately thought of this one. Thanks so much for writing it, I love it and it completely breaks the fourth wall and I love monologues/plays/films that do that sometimes, it is a whole different level of funny :) Thanks heaps!
Submitted by caleb Newman (not verified) on Fri, 11/28/2014 - 09:57
Can I use this for my audition? Its been my favorite so far.
Submitted by Vinnie Jeffords (not verified) on Fri, 12/05/2014 - 07:43
May I borrow this piece of wonderful art to use in Forensics?
Submitted by Andie (not verified) on Wed, 12/10/2014 - 13:42
Can I use this for my Forensics at my school? Also, do I have to pay for it or is it free?
Submitted by Daryl (not verified) on Wed, 12/17/2014 - 11:06
Wonderful piece! One of my students would like to use this at a forensics competition, but in order to use a piece, it must be published. Is this piece published? Please answer ASAP. Thank you so much!
Submitted by Rosali (not verified) on Sun, 01/11/2015 - 01:47
Hey! If it's okay with you I'd like to use this to audition for Drama Festival :)
Submitted by rhia (not verified) on Sun, 01/11/2015 - 12:05
this is hilarious!i love it. i am going to use it for my speech for a competition!!
Submitted by hello (not verified) on Sun, 04/26/2015 - 18:34
hello I really love this script but do you mind if I could tweak or lengthen the script a bit the time is a bit too short for the tournament I'm participating in I am still obviously crediting you the author for it I just need to lengthen the speech a bit
Submitted by Saumil Shah (not verified) on Tue, 07/07/2015 - 00:21
I Loved The Concept ! Please Can I Use Some Parts And Concept In My Monologue ? Thank You !
Submitted by Maddie McClure (not verified) on Fri, 09/11/2015 - 09:43
I think this is hilarious. Can I use this for a speech contest?
Submitted by cleo (not verified) on Sat, 09/12/2015 - 08:50
Hi there, I love this piece and it would be perfect for my audition but the only downfall is that it needs to be a one min monologue. Isn't it possible that you may have a one min monologue with the same concept as trapped in a monologue?
Submitted by Kobe (not verified) on Mon, 09/14/2015 - 02:01
I was wondering if I can use this for and audition for a musical. This piece is really and truly a wonderful script.
Submitted by Autumn Lyon (not verified) on Thu, 10/15/2015 - 08:20
cani please use this for a speech and debate contest
Submitted by Uma on Tue, 10/20/2015 - 03:09
A good, harmless humour. Can I use the speech for a debate contest for my daughter?
Submitted by Amanda (not verified) on Wed, 10/28/2015 - 00:54
May I use this for speaking in a competition for speech and debate. Thanks
Submitted by olivia1784 on Wed, 11/04/2015 - 12:58
Is this monologue published yet? i want to use it for a speech competition but i'm not sure if it needs to be published or not
Submitted by Suzanne (not verified) on Wed, 11/04/2015 - 14:03
Love it! We might use this as a piece for our state drama competition :) Thanks for sharing!
Submitted by standupman on Wed, 11/11/2015 - 13:27
I would love to do this for a talent show at my school. Is it OK if I do so?
Submitted by Mia (not verified) on Mon, 11/30/2015 - 05:18
I'm auditioning for a play, may I use this script?
Submitted by mgmtxd on Fri, 12/18/2015 - 15:25
Hello, LOVED THIS!! Could I use this for a speech competition at my school?
Submitted by queenskeleton (not verified) on Fri, 12/25/2015 - 15:30
Is it cool if I use this for speech?
Submitted by zoe knox (not verified) on Sun, 01/24/2016 - 11:03
I am in need of using this monolouge for forensics for my high school. I love this monolouge. Is there any chance that youve published it since then?
Submitted by abbmae13 on Tue, 02/02/2016 - 11:41
OMG!!!! this is soooo funny may I use it for competition!
Submitted by Anna J (not verified) on Sat, 02/06/2016 - 08:04
Hey, I was going to use this to audition for a musical, but it's a little long. Could I perhaps shorten it a bit by taking out parts here and there? I'm required to say the title of the monologue and the author, so it wouldn't be plagiarism.
Submitted by Connor (not verified) on Mon, 02/15/2016 - 05:46
Dear Jeremy, My name is Connor and I'm an English teacher at a Second English Language School in Bulgaria. Would you mind if one of my students performed your piece for an English language competition? Thanks. -Sincerely, Connor
Submitted by Maddy (not verified) on Thu, 02/18/2016 - 00:43
Thanks for making this monologue! I am using it for my Forensics regional competition. Last meet I had I was told this piece was dull by a judge who was barley paying attention anyway to any of the contestants so I'm going to jump on top of her desk and call her the alien this time ^.^ Revenge of a theater student.
Submitted by Abigail (not verified) on Thu, 03/31/2016 - 06:15
I love this piece! Would it be okay if I used it for my forensics class?
Submitted by Maddy (not verified) on Tue, 04/26/2016 - 15:03
May I use this in a theater tournament? Also am I allowed to take out some parts so I can memorize the poem easier? Thx so much!!!
Submitted by AdenIsADebater on Mon, 08/01/2016 - 07:05
I really liked this! I hope that you are still on this website. Can I use this for a Humorous Interp. piece for the 2016-17 Speech and Debate year?
Submitted by Tehya on Mon, 08/29/2016 - 14:53
Hey would if be alright if I used this for a drama competition?
Submitted by music_kay13 on Wed, 09/21/2016 - 16:04
I really liked this! Could I use this for my speech and debate ( humorous interp.) competitions this year?
Submitted by Becca (not verified) on Sun, 11/06/2016 - 14:34
I love this!!!!! Can i use this for a dramatic competition?
Submitted by Random fan that... (not verified) on Sat, 11/26/2016 - 15:45
Sorry I meant to say and got my dad rolling also I ment to send it one time not trying to spam so sorry
Submitted by Claire (not verified) on Sun, 01/22/2017 - 08:07
This is very funny would it be okay if I used it for a night of monologues my drama department is putting on?
Submitted by Bobby (not verified) on Thu, 01/26/2017 - 03:10
Can I use this for a competition?
Submitted by emawade on Fri, 03/17/2017 - 08:25
Omg! I loved this, may I use it for a school presentation? Can you get back to me asap, thank you!
Submitted by Davo2145 on Tue, 06/06/2017 - 16:40
hey I was wondering if I can have your name so I can credit you for my Drama Individual Project for HSC
Submitted by AL Miller on Mon, 07/10/2017 - 21:53
This is by far my most favorite monologue. Would it be alright if I used it for my church's show? I will tell people your name to give you the credit.
Submitted by chesterallen on Mon, 07/10/2017 - 23:47
Wow good stuff. I got offered to fill in for a another speaker at my local Toastmasters club. I will record this one maybe send you my facebook info so you can see my interpretation . You are a life saver i had less 24 hours notice and this is so clean and funny I will easily be able to memorize. Thank you very much for sharing your Talent, and allowing me to share it with others as well.
Submitted by Helloblakepoole_9472 on Sat, 07/22/2017 - 09:02
I would like to use your piece for a competition, do I have permission? And also could I have your author name for authenticity?
Submitted by nicholas.mcarth... on Sun, 08/27/2017 - 16:32
This is great! I am using it for my HSC drama performance. I have altered it a bit, but it's still got the same story and pretty well the same as yours. I'll reference you in my log book and tag you in a video of the final product when it's done.
Submitted by KdzRmyBiz_9700 on Wed, 10/04/2017 - 10:54
Hello! I am a middle school speech coach, and I LOVE this piece. Is there any way I might be able to purchase it from you to use in a speech competition? How would I get the entire piece? Thank you so much! You are hysterical!!!!
Submitted by TenTheFox on Wed, 02/14/2018 - 13:19
Hey, I would like to use this monologue for Forensics, but I need to put an author name and usernames aren't allowed. Can you give me a name or make one up that would be believable for me to use in a tournament?
Submitted by Elliottlight32_10191 on Mon, 02/26/2018 - 18:55
I need an author name for this piece please reply back to me A.S.A.P.
Submitted by nicolie4479 on Wed, 02/28/2018 - 18:57
This was ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS! Do you mind if I use this for a school show?
Submitted by rubberchicken.a... on Wed, 10/17/2018 - 18:56
Just so you guys know, this piece is NOT 7 minutes. I did it slower than I'd like and it was barely 5.
Submitted by Bojidar Petrov on Sun, 02/09/2020 - 09:26
Amazing piece !Can I use it for a speach turnament?pls answer asap!
Submitted by riju007soha_13339 on Thu, 12/17/2020 - 15:38
It's a great script.. Can i use it on our language... Bangla
Submitted by solfeggio2014 on Tue, 10/12/2021 - 18:46
This is great! Do you mind if I'm using this in our project?
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