Janitor (Saw Parody)

Janitor (Saw Parody)

(Unknown)   by duckandrun777

Comedy Skits   (30497 Views 2 Comments)

(A man comes rushing towards the restroom clutching his stomach. He has to do #2. He sees a janitor near the bathroom doorway mopping. The store is fixing to close. The man rushes up to the janitor.)

Man: Sir I need to use your restroom right quick! It's an emergency!

(The janitor looks at his watch and then nods the ok.)

Janitor: Sure go on right ahead. You got about ten minutes.

Man: Thank you sir! I'll try to hurry.

(The restroom is one of those restrooms with a single toilet. The man quickly puts his pants down and starts to take care of his business. As soon as he gets comfortable, he feels something brushing against his leg. He looks down and sees a tape recorder taped underneath the toilet. Curiously he snatches it and hits the play button. A deep voice is heard.)

Deep Voice: Hello Jason. I want to play a game. If you look to your left, you'll notice you're out of toilet paper.

(At this time Jason starts to freak out a little.)

Jason: How does he know my name?

(The deep voice continues.)

Deep Voice: If you look above you you'll see a sandpaper hanging.

Jason: Wha...?

Deep Voice: Do you have what it takes to get out of here on time? Wipe your ass or die. The choice is yours. Let the games begin.

(Jason then panics. The camera is going around him really fast. During this time he screams and starts to thrash around. When the camera stops going around him, he finally looks up and reaches up for the sandpaper. He accidentally scrapes his knuckles and starts to panic again. Once again the camera starts to go around him really fast again. Once he finally comes calms down again he reaches up one more time. Right before he touches the sandpaper, the lights go out and he the janitor standing in the doorway. Mop in one hand and the other on the door knob. Jason realises the janitor is the one that turned off the light.)

Jason: Wait please! Just give me a second!

Janitor: Game over.

(The janitor then slams the door shut and we hear the door click. Jason is now locked in the bathroom.)

Jason: NOOO PLEASE! I'll wipe my ass! I promise! NOOO!

(The next day we see the bathroom and Jason is lying on the floor face down with his pants still around his ankles. He has bloody scrape marks on his rear and in one of his hands he's holding a bloody sandpaper. Their are police tapes all around the bathrooms.)

Cop 1: Jesus. Another one.

Cop 2: Breaks my heart everytime. Damn.

Cop 1: (sigh) Alright lets wrap this up. (He looks back at the doorway) Hey you.

(The man who has been mopping out in the hall this whole time looks at the cop.)

Cop 1: Can you get this cleaned up?

Janitor (Puts on a friendly smile and nods.) Sure no problem.

(Then the screen goes black. As soon as the screen goes black, the "Saw" theme song starts to play along with the credits.)

The End

Note: Maybe have a message at the end of the credits saying "Don't be a dick. Cleanup after yourself."

Comedy Type: Humor Type: Comedy Scene:
5 Person
Script Length: Post date: Script Market:

Author's Message

Wrote this in my spare time. It's not perfect but hope you guys like it.

Copyright Statement



Submitted by Deundre Davis (not verified) on Wed, 12/28/2016 - 11:40
My I use this skit
Submitted by Marianna V (not verified) on Sun, 01/15/2017 - 12:58
Hello! This script was brilliant! I was wondering if I could use to this. Proper credit will be given under your name.

5 Person Unknown Comedy Skits - Janitor (Saw Parody)