I Am Balding

I Am Balding

(1m)   by bkuniverse
 

Comedy Monologues   (51355 Views 12 Comments)

Yes I am balding and I know that. Rather I should say that I was the first person to know that; when drops of rain hit my head directly instead of shining on my hair I knew that the family curse has started to act on me too. But you people keep on staring at me as if I am some kind of a retard who has murdered his entire extended family and is in a permanent state of denial and needs to be reminded of it. No I am not, I am balding and it can mean anything but it does not that my wife is available. Since the day I started losing hair I see people become more and friendlier to my wife. She gets these amazing discounts when I go out with her for shopping and she attributes that to her intrinsic ability to get a good deal. No, it is my brain that gets the money that she spends and it is my now shining head that is helping her save. It's just me, me, ME, I am still important. Balding is not the end of the world. People can now see more of me; my presence in this world has increased. I don't need to spend money on shampoo and oil. Who knows, these might be the things causing cancer on this planet? So don't show me your concern and sympathy and don't hit on my wife or else remember that once a man has lost his hair and then his wife in that sequence then he has nothing else to lose and he can come after you like a rabid dog runs after a school going kid.

Comedy Type: Script Length: Post date: Script Market:
Public

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Comments

   

Submitted by Josh Mizesko on Sun, 10/20/2013 - 14:11
May I use this script for Theatre Class? I have to do a comedic monologue
Submitted by bkuniverse on Mon, 10/21/2013 - 04:55
@POKEMONFAN please fell free to use any of my scripts. Thanks.
Submitted by dietdubstep (not verified) on Thu, 10/24/2013 - 07:01
Thank you so much for this. It's the only monologue I could find that's appropriate, and still funny.
Submitted by dthome on Sat, 12/07/2013 - 02:55
May my son use this script for trying out for DSA? He is 11 and we think it is hysterical. Thanks.
Submitted by bkuniverse on Sat, 12/07/2013 - 03:59
@Dawnelle You can use any of my scripts. Thanks.
Submitted by julzarella (not verified) on Wed, 01/08/2014 - 09:49
can i use this please thanks
Submitted by bkuniverse on Wed, 01/08/2014 - 10:40
@julzarella You can use any of my scripts.
Submitted by MikeLot (not verified) on Mon, 11/10/2014 - 07:11
Can I use this for an audition? Its hilarious and snarky.
Submitted by bkuniverse on Tue, 11/11/2014 - 00:36
@MikeLot Please feel free to use any of my scripts.
Submitted by Tai Luong (not verified) on Mon, 04/06/2015 - 17:25
I love this script!! I hope you dont mind letting me perform this piece in my school talent show :) ?
Submitted by bkuniverse on Tue, 04/07/2015 - 12:05
@ Tai Luong Please feel free to use any of my scripts. Thanks.
Submitted by tyler (not verified) on Tue, 09/08/2015 - 13:03
may i use this script for an acting class

1m Comedy Monologues - I Am Balding