Helium in a jar
(Both hold of a jar simultaneously.)
Selah: Helium in a jar!
Mike: Helium in a jar!
BOTH: Helium in a jar!
Mike: Selah, what is helium in a jar?
Selah: Good question, it is a jar that is filled and sealed with 99% helium and 1% hydrogen, it has the power to change the pitch of your voice for an extended period of time.
Mike: And why would people buy this?
Selah: It is the secret ingredient to every great entertainer’s success.
Mike: Does it really?!
Selah: Well this is how it works, you open the jar lid and take in a nice whiff, and then your voice will sound like it.
Mike: Oh yeah, I think Justin Beiber uses this.
Selah: And so do Alvin and the Chipmunks.
Mike: I see, it can be great for comedians, parties, weddings, prank calls, and of course school! The possibilities are absolutely endless Let me try some of that.
(Takes in Whiff from jar.)
Mike: (Obnoxious high pitched giggle.)Cool it works! But I don’t know if I can afford this Selah, how much is it?
Selah: Well, it’s you lucky day folks because for today only we are offering a fantastic deal.
Mike: What, what, what!
Selah: As of right now we are offering a two for one special! When you call or order online before 1:15 this afternoon you will get TWO Jars of Helium for the ever low price of only $49.99. Plus another ten dollars for shipping and handling.
Mike: This is definitely a deal, because as far as I know it cost thousands of dollars in stores, since it was released for the first time in America only last week.
Selah: Jars incorporated is the first one to ever make a product like this, it is truly a one-of-a-kind.
Mike: WOW! What’s the number?
Selah: The number is 414-555-1234, yes that number is
Selah: I also forgot to mention, that if you desperately do not want the voice anymore, then just chew a piece of the diffuser gum, otherwise the product should wear off in three to five hours.
Mike: By the way if you purchase it separately it will cost an additional $76!
Mike: I just love this stuff! And so you don’t forget, call us right now at 414-555-1234!
Selah: Yup, 414-555-1234.
Both: When you feeling down and life is a bore get helium (pause) in a jar! CHA!!