Helium in a Jar

Helium in a Jar

(2.5m)   by selahangel1

Comedy Monologues   (95824 Views 27 Comments)

Helium in a jar

(Both hold of a jar simultaneously.)

Selah: Helium in a jar!

Mike: Helium in a jar!

BOTH: Helium in a jar!

Mike: Selah, what is helium in a jar?

Selah: Good question, it is a jar that is filled and sealed with 99% helium and 1% hydrogen, it has the power to change the pitch of your voice for an extended period of time.

Mike: And why would people buy this?

Selah: It is the secret ingredient to every great entertainer’s success.

Mike: Does it really?!

Selah: Well this is how it works, you open the jar lid and take in a nice whiff, and then your voice will sound like it.

Mike: Oh yeah, I think Justin Beiber uses this.

Selah: And so do Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Mike: I see, it can be great for comedians, parties, weddings, prank calls, and of course school! The possibilities are absolutely endless Let me try some of that.

(Takes in Whiff from jar.)

Mike: (Obnoxious high pitched giggle.)Cool it works! But I don’t know if I can afford this Selah, how much is it?

Selah: Well, it’s you lucky day folks because for today only we are offering a fantastic deal.

Mike: What, what, what!

Selah: As of right now we are offering a two for one special! When you call or order online before 1:15 this afternoon you will get TWO Jars of Helium for the ever low price of only $49.99. Plus another ten dollars for shipping and handling.

Mike: This is definitely a deal, because as far as I know it cost thousands of dollars in stores, since it was released for the first time in America only last week.

Selah: Jars incorporated is the first one to ever make a product like this, it is truly a one-of-a-kind.

Mike: WOW! What’s the number?

Selah: The number is 414-555-1234, yes that number is

BOTH: 414-555-1234

Selah: I also forgot to mention, that if you desperately do not want the voice anymore, then just chew a piece of the diffuser gum, otherwise the product should wear off in three to five hours.

Mike: By the way if you purchase it separately it will cost an additional $76!

Mike: I just love this stuff! And so you don’t forget, call us right now at 414-555-1234!

Selah: Yup, 414-555-1234.

(Grabs jars)

Both: When you feeling down and life is a bore get helium (pause) in a jar! CHA!!


Comedy Type: Humor Type: Script Length: Post date: Script Market:

Author's Message

Well I wrote this for speech class, since we had an assignment to write and perform a commercial, and because when we practiced improve for AMTC Actors, models, and, talent for Christ I thought this up, so I decided to clean it up a bit and make it more of a dualog. Well I would have done it solo but Mike was desperate for a partner.

Copyright Statement




Submitted by tutu (not verified) on Tue, 11/13/2012 - 10:16
omg this is so good
Submitted by Deepika (not verified) on Wed, 10/23/2013 - 03:52
WOOHoOo~~!! This is something hilarious!! :D
Submitted by LeonRetief on Fri, 11/22/2013 - 22:26
Great. Can I use this?
Submitted by iMarshmallow on Sat, 03/01/2014 - 22:07
Hilarious! Can I ever use this in one of my videos? I will send you the video if you approve of it. I am GREAT At acting, and this is the best commercial I've ever seen!!! it is a MUST-DO for me!!
Submitted by selahangel1 (not verified) on Sun, 03/02/2014 - 00:43
Sure you can use it! I would love to see the video when you are done with it.
Submitted by Bob (not verified) on Tue, 04/01/2014 - 05:53
Can we please use this script for a school project?
Submitted by Bob (not verified) on Tue, 04/01/2014 - 05:55
This is bob again! We need to know by tonight! Thanks!
Submitted by Dozz on Tue, 04/29/2014 - 10:22
Very nice, fun funny and unique. I am new on here and posted four comedy material but cannot seem to get them noticed. Any suggestions? I mean, I am unable to even access them myself and I could see them uploaded. I know something is wrong. I also notice most folks on here only have one friend connection or two max... and no script Why is this??? You could have great stuff whether on here or You-tube but if folks don't see or find them, you get nowhere, they are just there! Dozz
Submitted by Selah (not verified) on Sat, 05/03/2014 - 15:04
I'm sorry I really don't have much to say. See i put this up a while ago and I haven't added anything since. I just kinda left it there. Maybe your settings are messed up. I honestly didn't even do any extra advertising at all. And about the no script deal it may be that they are only on here to just view and find material. Godd luck though
Submitted by alyssa (not verified) on Fri, 10/03/2014 - 09:20
Can I use this? I need to write scripts and this a great one for my new youtube channel. I'll make sure to put copyrights :)
Submitted by selahangel1 on Fri, 10/03/2014 - 09:54
Absolutely, have fun with it!
Submitted by omaha08 on Tue, 03/03/2015 - 04:29
This is brilliant! Could I use this for a multimedia video??
Submitted by Noso9000 on Thu, 03/05/2015 - 06:02
Hello there, I was wondering if I had permission to use this script. My friend and I are representing our school on a forensics tournament and this script seems appropriate for our act. Please get back to me soon. Thank you.
Submitted by Selah (not verified) on Thu, 03/05/2015 - 10:35
For the two previous comments, yes you have permission to use the script. Forensics huh, seems a bit short for that but you can edit it if you desire to do so. I mean, I am a forensics person though the conferences can vary from place to place. Though currently I'm doing serious solo. And to the other person, I'd love to take a look at the multimedia presentation if you would allow me to do so.
Submitted by Brandi Hulsey (not verified) on Tue, 05/05/2015 - 02:00
Hi. My drama club students are trying some improv and we are going to break up our little "performance" with some fun skits! Can my students use this? They love it! :)
Submitted by Selah (not verified) on Wed, 05/06/2015 - 00:22
Of course you may use it for drama. Also as long as you are working on improv a fun game to play is called "Tell me a Story" the first person is given a topic, which can be sue or really outrageous, and they then tell a story and the conclude it with something along the lines of "but that wasn't as cool as when Sally won a boxing match with a kangaroo on the top of the Empire state building". The group j work with loves that one.
Submitted by Mari (not verified) on Sat, 05/30/2015 - 02:46
Can I please use this for a school project?
Submitted by Mari (not verified) on Sat, 05/30/2015 - 02:47
Can I please use this for a school project?
Submitted by selah (not verified) on Sat, 05/30/2015 - 02:51
Certainly, be my guest :)
Submitted by Mari (not verified) on Sat, 05/30/2015 - 02:57
Submitted by McKenzie (not verified) on Sun, 10/11/2015 - 10:41
Hi Selah. This is really funny!!! Good job!! May I use this for a school? We have to present a short humorous interpretation script and this is perfect!
Submitted by Jemima (not verified) on Tue, 10/20/2015 - 23:42
Hi, this is really funny! Please can I also use this in the school that I work in for a monologue/duologue project?
Submitted by sporty_jessie on Thu, 01/14/2016 - 14:09
Hey, I would love to use this script for me and a friend in school competition. Please add me as a friend or reply to this comment if I have your permission before January 31
Submitted by sporty_jessie on Thu, 01/14/2016 - 14:10
Submitted by sporty_mom (not verified) on Wed, 02/03/2016 - 23:58
hi thats amazing ya
Submitted by Dragonslayer23 on Sat, 10/22/2016 - 15:10
Can I please use this script for a skit
Submitted by Selah (author) (not verified) on Sun, 10/23/2016 - 15:15
Yeah , sure, be my guest.

2.5m Comedy Monologues - Helium in a Jar