Female Superiority

Female Superiority

(4m)   by restisaweapon

Comedy Monologues   (95041 Views 24 Comments)

Female superiority

I have this theory about Female superiority

Cuz I’ve noticed, they don't seem to need us men.

We're physically stronger than they are.

But it feels like we need them more than they need us.

Fact is, statistics say most woman prefer chocolate over sex.

Chocolate! Wrap your head around that tasty bit of truth.

When you think of it...Us guys were in trouble right from the beginning.

This is what I think really happened:

God creates Man.

An interesting creature, loves to take things apart, and blow stuff up.

Now, it’s not that God didn't do a great job on us;  

But...For some reason, a day or so later He see's a problem.

And then He's saying stuff like "It's not good for man to be alone"

Like we need a babysitter or something.

So I think man was a bit of a botch up.

And He didn't want us alone down here, taking stuff apart.

So He gets busy creating…Woman.

Now woman will have to be superior cuz she has to be totally self sufficient.

And able to look after this man gone sideways.

I think at some point God had a little heart to heart with Woman.

You know, explaining the situation.

"Eve, sweetie, You are privileged among woman” 

*rolling eyes* "Uh huh"

“I know I know, he's a handful.”

"Ya Think!?"

"Hey, Hey…just remember, where the real power lies, "Up Here".

"I made you stronger "up here"

"Look, I'd considerate it a personal favour if you just kept this between us.

I'm going leave him physically stronger, so he'll think he's the superior one.

But I'll make some adjustments, and he'll be following you around like a puppy dog."

So life goes on.

Women rule the world without us even knowing it.

They have this extra sense called 'Intuition'

A creepy thing. It allows them to know stuff without any information.

Like, I’ll ask my wife..."How do you know that?"    

"I don't know”, she says, “I just do" 

See what I mean?...........................CREEEPY

And look who they hang around with.

Sure we spend a lot of time with them but that’s just them ‘on the job’ looking after us.

Cuz look at a woman that, say… works in a daycare.

 Here she is communicating at baby IQ level all day long.

After work, what does she do for some adult stimulation?

She gets a piece of chocolate and goes looking for a woman to talk to.

Cuz she needs some mature conversation, and face it, woman are more mature.

And they mature sooner and than men do.

Girls are ready for life in their late teens, early twenties.

While guys are still riding bikes off cliffs or trying to skateboard down handrails at 30.

More proof:  I work as a lifeguard at a pool.

And I found out, that after swim lessons, if there’s a line up to get in the shower?

The female lifeguards don’t mind getting their shower...together.

You see guys just wouldn't do that.

We're not mature enough to handle that kind of personal space challenge.

One time, I was all wet and cold waiting for my turn to shower?

And this other lifeguard, Tyler, he’s just finishing his.

So he’s coming; and cuz I was so cold, I started to get in.

We were trying to get past each other when it happened...

Comedy Type: Script Length: Post date: Script Market:

Copyright Statement



Submitted by sidmak on Tue, 05/10/2011 - 22:47
hey could i please use this for a drama assesment but if possible may i see the full version please
Submitted by Liz (not verified) on Mon, 05/30/2011 - 03:59
Hi.i really love this script..i think its very creative and i would like to use it in my drama show.if that is fine with you.i love your work and if i may,can i please see the hole script...thanks:)
Submitted by Don (not verified) on Mon, 05/30/2011 - 17:58
Hi Liz thanks to the comment my only reservation is if the show is a professional work. You see I always give permission for my scripts to be used in amateur applications but reserve professional uses for myself. Let me know. Don
Submitted by Michael (not verified) on Thu, 06/09/2011 - 17:50
Hws it go Don; truely enjoyed ur piece! Just wondering if I could use this for my acting class. Is there any way I could get the full version? Pleased to have the opportunity, Michael.
Submitted by restisaweapon on Fri, 06/10/2011 - 01:47
Sure Michael, I have no problem with my scripts being used for school, acting auditions or any amateur applications. I just reserve professional application for myself. You need to join and then become my friend to have access to the full version. Cheers Don
Submitted by Ted (not verified) on Tue, 11/15/2011 - 00:32
Will you let me use this script for a six week test in drama class
Submitted by portega3 on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 04:21
Good Afternoon, Is it possible for my students to use your script inn acting class
Submitted by Brycebrycebaby on Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:58
Hi Don, I love this you're really talented! I have an audition for my high school play coming up and I was wondering if I could use this? Thanks!
Submitted by stevue24 on Sat, 04/14/2012 - 18:37
Hi There Don, I was wondering if I could see the whole script for this. Your script is very funny and it is something I want to use for my upcoming performance for my oral interpretation class, if it is possible can you please send me this script?
Submitted by Ana (not verified) on Sat, 04/28/2012 - 15:49
Just wanted to say that I really enjoyed reading your script :) was extremely entertaining.
Submitted by Don Mcdonald (not verified) on Sat, 04/28/2012 - 16:00
Thanks Don
Submitted by Eres on Mon, 05/07/2012 - 00:17
Hi, this was so funny, may I use it for a stage exam? Is it alright if I add you to see the full version...I just joined up here, so I don`t actually know how to do that but when I figure it out, I`ll try, thanx either way
Submitted by anthony97 on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 13:29
Hi, my name is Anthony, and I'm doing a monologue for my public speaking class, do you mind sending me the full version? It would be greatly Appreciated. Thanks.
Submitted by restisaweapon on Wed, 06/06/2012 - 17:38
Sure Anthony
Submitted by mahibararia on Sun, 09/30/2012 - 02:56
Hi Don! This is Mahi from India. I love this piece and would like to use this for theatre...but ofcourse it shall be credited to you...so if you dont mind, can you please accept my friend request and allow me to view the whole piece.
Submitted by tdmfilms on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 13:58
Hey McDonald can I use this for a project? can you add me as a friend so i can get the whole piece?
Submitted by JovanF96 on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 23:43
Hi Don, my names Jovan, I'm 16 and looking for an agent. I really love this monologue, I was wondering if I could use this for an audition for an agent. Can you accept my friend request and send me the full version?
Submitted by Matthew (not verified) on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 06:34
This monologue is hilarious!! It is so true...unfortunately for us guys! I am in a freshman drama class at my High School and have to have a monologue to perform....and would like to use this if possible. How can I see the entire script? Thanks in advance for your help!
Submitted by restisaweapon on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 06:51
Thanks, To see full version you need to join the site, friend me, then I accept and you'll be able to view full versions. Don
Submitted by Sherry Gosdis (not verified) on Tue, 01/28/2014 - 06:44
Hi Don, Love this. I would like to use it but would be doing it as a woman and inserting things from my personal life experiences. It will be at an amateur program. May I view the full script?
Submitted by restisaweapon on Wed, 01/29/2014 - 02:15
Hi Sherry, to see the full version you need to join (if you haven't already) and friend me. Don p.s. thanks
Submitted by Grafie on Sun, 06/14/2015 - 00:01
Hi Don, I'mtrying to friend you, but the link comes up as Error 404. I think the script is great, I would like permission to use it for my LAMDA grade 5 exam. Could I have permission and the full script. Cheers Graham
Submitted by Grafie on Sun, 06/14/2015 - 00:01
Hi Don, I'mtrying to friend you, but the link comes up as Error 404. I think the script is great, I would like permission to use it for my LAMDA grade 5 exam. Could I have permission and the full script. Cheers Graham
Submitted by kanwaln520_15626 on Wed, 03/23/2022 - 14:01

4m Comedy Monologues - Female Superiority