I was waiting for a takeaway order at a Chinese Restaurant, and I saw two small children sitting at a table with about 10 adults – all couples – trying to entertain themselves. I felt a really strong wave of pity because I remembered when I was that little boy, who had to sit with a huge group of adults, because my parents couldn’t leave me home and somehow thought that a restaurant dinner was a privilege for a nine year old.
The most annoying this was that I was never allowed to bring a book or my Gameboy. My mum always used to say: ‘you have to be social.’ I didn’t have the comedic intelligence or confidence I have now but if I did I would have replied:
‘Excuse me, Mom, but you have known me for about 9 years and I don’t know if you have missed it, but my main interests in life are Dragonball Z and custard. Now, you lot are going to be talking about holiday packages and mortgages for the whole night, forgive me for saying this but I don’t think this is my crowd. In fact, I think I am only here for two reasons only and they do not include the entertainment of Labeja. They are 1. So you lot have something to pet and cuddle like a puppy and 2. So every single person here remembers that this might just be a good night, but a good night that will surely end, and when it does they have to return to their own little creations waiting forlornly at home for their coming.’
But what I actually did was sleep the whole night.