A Religious Right Christian Song

A Religious Right Christian Song

(3m)   by k.r.johnson

Comedy Monologues   (1542 Views 0 Comments)

I'd rather be what I am than what you are,
I'd rather point the finger and condemn,
This wicked world is teeming With irreverent blaspheming
And I thank God I'm not as other men.
You might think I'm a bun short of a picnic,
God knows I'm in the best of mental health,
And He says I have to shriek At different people every week
So this is how I occupy myself:

On Monday I vilify abortions,
On Tuesday the lesbians and gays
On Wednesdays I abuse The Muslims and the Jews
And sexy shows and plays,
On Thursday I loathe the Blacks and Asians,
On Friday an atheist or two,
And I'll yell and raise the rafters When I get to the hereafter,
'Cause I've got a lot more shouting left to do.

Charles Darwin's work incites me to a frenzy, 
And so do Richard Dawkins and his chums,
I really hate the guts Of prostitutes and sluts,
I also hate the guts of single mums.
I am the godly scourge of unbelievers,
I stand and fight them seven days a week,
When I see a coloured fellow I begin to bawl and bellow
For he's probably a Hindu or a Sikh.

On Monday I die of gonorrhea,
On Tuesday they bury me with flowers,
On Wednesday I wait Outside the pearly gate 
For hours and hours and hours,
On Thursday I have to show my passport,
They sent me to the furnaces to stew,
But I never shall relent, for as the guard told Arthur Dent,
I've got a lot more shouting left to do.

Comedy Type: Humor Type: Comedy Scene:
1 Person
Script Length: Post date: Script Market:
Permission for use:
Permission not required

Author's Message

This song goes roughly to the tune of 'I'll Make a Man of You.' You may use this song in any way you want, but if you make any money out of it, I want a share. You are responsible for getting permission to sing this song to a copyright tune. If you use this tune, please tell me, because I want to know what happens to it.

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1 Person 3m Comedy Monologues - A Religious Right Christian Song