The Not so Averge Life of a Not so Averge Surf (pesant)

The Not so Averge Life of a Not so Averge Surf (pesant)

(10-30m)   by Warhero999
 

Comedy Skits   (16252 Views 0 Comments)

Scene 1: At the Farm
Bob: Well life really stinks right know Leonard.
Leonard: It should go take a bath
Bob: That?s not what I ment and besides the point the only way life could get any worse is if we were hit by some horrible disease that involved black soars on the neck swelling to the size of oranges, coughing up blood and 600 people dyeing a day.
Random Guy: Hey everybody I have some news. There is this disease going around. Some of the symptoms are black soars on the neck swelling to the size of oranges and coughing up blood. Plus right now on average 600 people are dyeing a day.
Leonard: I hate you Bob.
Bob: Sorry. This reminds me of the time I randomly walked by this person?s house and said that the person in there was a witch. And the next thing I know there burning her as a witch.
Leonard: I know, it seems that every time you say something bad happens it happens. It?s really weird. Hey Bob, ware did you go?
Bob: Leonard come here I think this guy has got the plague.
Leonard: How can you tell?
Bob: He is covered in soars and is coughing up blood.
Leonard: Holy wow, that guy has got the plague
Bob: I just said that.
Leonard: you did?
Bob: Yes?now help me with this guy before he drowns in his own blood.
Leonard: I?ll go get a cloth and a bucket of water.
Bob: Ok. Don?t worry man, Leonard went to go get some stuff to help you.
2 HOURS LATER
Leonard: I?m back
Bob: You?re a bit late.
Leonard: Oops.
Bob: I?m hungry.
Leonard: lets go town and steal some stuff.
Bob: Are you crazy? Do you want to get your arm chopped off.
Leonard: No.
Bob: Let?s go to town any way.
Leonard: Ok lets go.
End scene 1
Scene 2: Burn Her
Leonard: Wow, this place is a dump.
Bob: Ewe
Leonard: What
Bob: That person just threw a bucket of toilet out the window
Leonard: That is disgusting.
Voice: Witch, burn her.
Leonard: Hey look lets go join that out of control mob.
Bob: O.K.
Random Guy: This person is a witch, which means she must bur--n.
Leonard: That guy looks offaley familiar.
Bob: Wait a second that guy died that guy just died like 40min ago.
Mob: Burn her, burn her, burn her, burn her, burn her?
Leonard: how does that work?
Mob: Burn her, burn her.
Bob: These are so entertaining. Get out of the way, I can?t see.
Leonard: What?s to see, and besides you have already seen a witch burning.
Bob: Yah I know, but it was awesome.
Random: Hey look every body, it?s another witch
Mob: Yah, Burn her.
CROWD STAMPEEDS OVER THE RANDOM GUY
Random Guy: ?Ow.
Bob: People are dying, Yadata, yadata, people are dying yadadadateday, yadadadateday, yadadata-wait a second, I should be feeling for sorry for these people.
Leonard: Yah, you are one dense serf.
Bishop Bill: Yo all my peopo?. I?m gunna go concencrate that flowin? bed a water, cause to many of my home dog citizens have died, so now you can all through Yo dead in the river, and give last rights to each other?foshizzle
Leonard: What is he waving his arms around
Bob: What?s all that nonsense? Let?s follow him any way.
Leonard: O.k. we got nothing better to do.
End scene 2
Scene 3: The Bishop, The River and the dead
Leonard: So what are we waiting for
Bishop Bill: For some people to bring some dead.
Bob: Well couldn?t you just concrete the water know so you don?t have to give a big sermon.
Leonard: Bob, its concencrating
Bob: Yah, that is what I said, concreting
Leonard: Con-cen-cra-ting
Bob: Yah, Con-cre-ting
Leonard: BOB, I?m not goin-
Bob: -Ok ok its concen-
Bishop Bill: By the Power invested in me from my home dog G foshizzle up in the sky I concencrate this river so now y?all can throw your dead in the river.
Crowd: Ya?y
SPLASHING SOUNDS
Random Guy: Party time, party time part-aaah (splash) Blubblub, I?m drowning blubblubblub.
Bob: I think that guy is dyeing
Leonard: Yah think?
Bob: Well I uh?yah
Leonard: Dim bulb
Bob: I?m board, let?s go home.
Leonard: Shore whatever,
5 MONTHES LATER AND BACK AT THE FARM
Bob: Well I can say that this has been a pretty successful 24 months
Leonard: How has it been successful? Half the population in the word has died.
Bob: I can?t believe that we survived.
Leonard: Are you changing the subject.
Bob: Maybe, well any way let?s get back to working before we get our heads chopped off or something.
Leonard: Yah ok.
THE END

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10-30m Comedy Skits - The Not so Averge Life of a Not so Averge Surf (pesant)