AK: Anoyying kid
RAM: Random Audience Member
(Courtyard, after school. AK is practicing his punches)
A K: I’m gonna kick his butt! I’m going to make him regret he ever met me!
RAM: I know I do
A K: Yeah that’s the spirit! Where is this guy? Knowing him he’s probably crying in his pillow writing in his “royal” diary (evil laugh). He’s probably not even going to show
(Royal fanfare plays while K walks in followed by a band)
A K: just me against your whole band?! That’s not fair! You need more people (evil laugh).
K: My servant’s blood shalst not taste the floor tonight!
AK: It’s only like 4:10-
K: (interrupting AK, next line said dramatically) I stand for the little guy!
AK: So you stand for yourself?
K: (Even more dramatic) I STAND FOR THE PEOPLE AGAINST YOUR TYRANNY!
AK: What did I ever do to you that was THAT bad?
K: You besmirched me! You disgraced my honor! AND NOW YOU WILL PAY!!!!!
RAM: JUST FIGHT ALREADY!
AK: Your “subjects” demand entertainment.
(K turns to audience)
K: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?!?!?! ?!?!?!?! ?!?!?!?! ?!?!?!?! ?!?!?!?! ?!?!?!?! ?!?!?!?! ?!?!?!?! ?!?!?!?!
K: What do you want from me?
RAM: HIT HIM ALREADY!
AK: I’m ready to start this.
K: You were the one who started this in the first place.
AK: You asked for it sucka
Narrator: In a climax worthy of the silver screen, they ran towards each other fist recoiled epic music playing to their battle. Wait what’s this? We have a civilian in the crossfire? It’s…… It’s……
C: MRS: DOMINICO!
Narrator: Oh no! they don't hear her coming!. It looks like she’ll be joining this epic battle weighing in at 300-
T: EXCUSE ME?
Narrator: make that 200-
T: I don’t think so!
T: There you are
Narrator: and 99 pounds
Narrator: deal with it. And standing at 5 ft 2
T: I’m actually 4 ft-
Narrator: Is ready to join the epic battle for all of humanity!
T: What? This must be stopped!
(Reaches hands out so that K & AK run into her hands and fall down. K and AK cry like babies)
is you two having a fight to the death out here?
K & AK: maybe….
T: (pulls out student code of conduct) It says right here no epic battles to the death. It’s right next to no chewing gum
AK: How often do fights to the death happen?
T: More often than you think. Looks like I’m going to have to call your parents.
AK: Oh *bleep*
T: One week’s detention
K: ha-ha dumb*bleep*
T: A week for you too. Looks I’m going to have to call both of your parents
AK & K: Mother*bleep*
T: Another week for both of you!
AK: Give me a *bleep*in break!
(The next day, AK & K in detention)
AK: 104 weeks of detention. We’re not even going to be in school that long; we’ll have to come back here just to serve detention
K: Look on the bright side; it’ll give you time to reflect on that total *bleep*- kicking I gave you
T: Another week detention!
(K & AK sigh)
TO BE CONTINUED