THE INTERVIEW
Andrew has an interview for an administration position at an open place office. The interview is at 10:30am; Andrew arrived at 10:15am but was called into the manager?s office after waiting for 30mins.
Dave ? The Manager
Andrew ? Potential employee
Sarah ? the secretary
Anne ? sales administrator
Chris ? book keeper
Kate ? team leader
OPENING SCENE
Andrew sits down at the desk opposite Dave who is swivelling back and forth in his executive chair
Dave: Good morning, how are you?
Andrew: I am fine thank you
Dave: You weren?t late were you?
Andrew: No I was 15mins early
Dave:
(Leans back in his chair)
That?s good I hate late people, I am the manager so it?s fine if I am late
Andrew: That?s good for you, I think
Dave: Okay let?s start then, why did you apply for this position.
Andrew: I have a lot of experience in administrational duties and I feel the skills I have could help in this position
Dave: I will decide that
Andrew: Fine
Dave: Did I hear correctly when you said you have experience? Keep in mind that this is a useless question, I heard you and I also have your CV in front of me
Andrew: Umm yes I did
Dave: Well you seem to have desirable experience and qualifications, when would you like to start?
Andrew:
(Surprised)
Is that it? No more questions?
Dave: Yeah most managers pad it out, I don?t do that I usually know the person I am going to hire. I don?t really use your CV?s I just look at how you look and speak. So when do you want to start?
Andrew: Right away if you like
Dave: That?s the right thing to say, if you said anything other than right away I would have told you to go home and wait for my call which you would have been waiting for an eternity
Andrew:
(He gets out his pad and pen)
Well it?s lucky I didn?t say that, what do I need to know before I start?
Dave: There is a lot of partiality here; I love favouritism and nepotism right now you?re not my favourite person because you live in Surrey, if the guy before you did not come from Essex you wouldn?t have this job
Andrew: I can?t help that
Dave: I also hate people who argue with me, even when I am wrong do not think to point it out, but if I mess up don?t be surprised if I blame you
Andrew: I will try and remember that
Dave: The most important thing is I love people sucking up to me; there is nothing better than employees kissing my arse.
(He snaps his fingers to his secretary)
Sarah, black coffee right now, 1 sugar strong chop-chop, don?t keep me waiting
Sarah: Right away sir
She brings the coffee to Dave; he takes a sip and then spits it out
Dave: What is this? Are you kidding me? Get me a proper coffee right now
Sarah:
(Apologizing profusely)
Sorry sir, I will get another one for you right away
Dave:
(Turns back to Andrew)
See that, the coffee was fine but she needs her job
Andrew:
(He nods, unable to speak for shock)
Dave:
(Oblivious to Andrew?s reaction)
Finally there is a lot of bad rivalry and strong competition in this company which has escalated into backstabbing and loads of snitching.
Andrew:
(Confused)
Is that good for the company?
Dave: I encourage it, nothing gives a better work atmosphere than loads of people working in the same room who hate each other, but are contractually obliged to see each other every day.
Andrew: Really wouldn?t that hurt the company
Dave: Nobody talks to each other so they all get on with their work, nobody skives or takes day?s off because they are scared they?ll get sacked. It?s amazing
Andrew: Good point
Dave: Well I think that?s all you need to know you can leave now, how about starting tomorrow 9am.
Andrew: That?s great, thank you very much for this opportunity
Dave: That?s all right, see you tomorrow
Andrew leaves the office and the building
SCENE 2
Dave walks into the open-plan office floor
Dave: Hello everyone, your attention please.
(The room goes quiet)
I have hired another administrator for this floor
Anne: We don?t really need anyone else to hate 25 people keep us happy.
Chris: Shut up Anne, what do you know? I thought we aren?t allowed food or drink in the office what?s that Coke can doing at your desk.
Anne: Don?t start Chris, taking another 15mins break isn?t allowed you know.
Kate:
(Talking over the two)
What?s he like Dave?
Dave:
(Everyone quiets down when Dave starts to talk)
I wasn?t going to hire him but he begged me so much with this massive sob story something about he is about to lose his house or what not I had to take pity on him.
Chris: He sounds like a right idiot.
Dave: Yes, I think he is mentally challenged; he went blank at one stage and just nodded to me when I asked him a question
Anne: Well if he isn?t a show-off I think we can just barely tolerate him.
Chris: Speak for yourself
Dave:
(Claps his hands)
Alright then everybody get back to work
Grumbling they all walk back to their desks
THE END
