Scene takes place at Goodman, Goodman, Richly and Herrera- Group practice Obstectrics and Gynecology
Begins in front of exam room door, huddle of physicians in white coats draw straws to see who is going to take this recurring patient.
To his dismay, physician draws short straw and enters exam room.In room is Samantha Segal.Forty two year old homely woman with permagrin on face.
Samantha (lighting candles at fully prepared dinner table with soft music in the background):Its so nice to meet you.I like long walks on the beach, romantic comedies, and Air Supply. What do you like?
Physician:Ms. Segal, I'm confused, what is all of this?Please put all of this away and I will return in five minutes.Our relationship is strictly patient/doctor and I will uphold the professionalism I took under my Hippocratic Oath.
Physician closes door, Samantha quickly puts items away and pulls out portable ballet bar, leg warmers and leotard.Physician reenters.
Physician:Ms. Segal what is all of this?
Samantha:I'm doing my stretches to make this transaction smoooooooth. Just doing my part.
Physician:Please Ms. Segal, this is not only bizarre behavior but completely unnecessary.Please put on this robe and lay on the table with your feet in the stirrups.This is nonsense.
Physician leaves and reenters, Samantha is in position but has applied lipstick and false eyelashes.
Physician scrubs and begins to ask routine questions.
Physician:Ms. Segal, are there any issues, concerns or problems that we need to address today?
Samantha:I have trouble finding men that want to date me.My physic says that after 40 my odds of meeting a man who loves me are less than getting struck by lightning.Do you prefer red or white wines?Leno or Letterman?
Physician:Ms. Segal please keep your conversation strictly to your issues at hand and on a professional level.I will ask you one more time, arethere any issues, concerns or problems with your female health that we need to address today.
Samantha:Well, Dr.Herrera, can I call you Doctor?
Physician:That will be fine.
Samantha:Well, Doc-Tahhh, I do notice pain on my right side whenright before my "aunt" visits (childlike giggle and then quickshift to sexy hair shift).
Physician:Well then lets proceed and I willsee if there are any indications of distress.
Camera close upof Samantha:mouthing quite pleasurewords "oh yes, right there, you are my big man, etc".
Physician:Does this hurt whenI push?
Samantha:It hurts (silent lip movement:sooooo gooooood)...wiping forehead with a cloth
Physician:How about now?
Samantha:That feels fine (silent lip movement: soooooo fine) Smoking cigarette
Physician:Well according to my examination I don't findanythingout of theordinary but I will need to send you for further testing starting with a sonogram at our in office laboratory.Please get dressed and I will return in a few minuteswith your script.
Samantha turns on acd player playing"HowDeep is your Love" by Air Supply and memories flash back in her head(Physician entering room,shaking her hand in slow motion,concerned dialog, approaching open legs in stirrups, Samantha's facial gestures, wind blowing in both physicians and samanthas hair, etc etc)
Samantha gets dressed and puts on Wrist Corsage and perfume.
Physician reenters:Ms. Segal, please take this to our main desk.Looks around, noticing How Deep is your Love Playing. (Just shruggs it off)
Physician:Ms. Segal, off the record I would suggest you go home and join a dating site and at the very least seek some psychological help.There seems to be something delusional about you although my training is not in that area.
Samantha:Your touch has meant so much to me and awakened my feminity in new ways.Until we meet again, my handsome chap.Motions to head with hands in breathy voice "Call me"...
Samantha goes to the front desk and says to the receptionist:"What is his schedule look like for same time next year".....music plays as scene fades out "How deep is your love"I need to setup a "Date" in his calendar .She has a closeup and winks very profoundly as scene ends.