Superhero SushiMan

Superhero SushiMan

(10m)   by bkuniverse
 

Comedy Skits   (24951 Views 1 Comments)

Reporter: How did you become Sushi Man?

Sushi Man: My real name is Sushil Iyer and I came to Tokyo because my Indian Software company sent me here on an assignment. I told them that I only eat Mom Made Indian Vegetarian food and an overseas assignment would not be good for my health and yet they didn't listen. Upon landing on the Tokyo airport after a long flight I was very hungry and asked for food in a food stall on the airport.

            Me: Sir, excuse me , do you have anything veg to eat?

           Japanese Man: Yes.

I am not sure whether he understood anything of what I said, he just gave me a number of leaf rolls to eat.

            Me: Is this vegetarian?

            Japanese Man:  Yes. 

I ate it all and then found it really good. 

            Me (Pointing to the dish): What is it?

            Japanese Man (Pointed to the dish): Yes.

            Me (Pointing to the dish again): What is it, Sir?

            Japanese Man (Pointed to the dish): Yes.

Then someone sitting next to me said "SUSHI". My friend who stays in Tokyo asked me that night what I would like to eat and I proudly told him that I want "SUSHI CURRY". He said "Ohh! Kadavale Meen" (Ohh! my god fish).

            My friend: Sushil, did you eat fish? What face will you show to your dear parents? They might have forgiven you for eating a  fried one but raw fish! How could you do that to them?

Since the time man walked on earth my ancestors had never touch Non Veg and here for the first time I had left home and tasted fish. I felt really bad ..

Reporter: Then what happened?

Sushi Man: When I went to sleep , my ancestors came in dream and said that I had committed a great sin and shamed all of them. They cursed me that from now onwards I won't be Sushil anymore but something different and I would have to serve humanity for eternity to wash my sins off.The next day I got up and I felt different. 

Reporter: Different? What did you feel?

Sushi Man: For starters the usual stuff which happens to every superherp, I suddenly had these muscles. I mean I used to drink protein shake every night for the last 10 years and so I thought that may be that is how the shakes work,that is if they do work. Just one fine day you get all muscles. Then I looked at my veins and they were much more greener than usual. I pressed one of them and out came greenish thing from my hand. Now I know that it is Wasabi.

Reporter: Ohh! Your famous radiactive Wasabi by which you kill Super Villians?

Sushi Man: Yes. You see all the superheroes attack the villains with their choice of weapons and many a times the villians come back. With radioactive wasabi you are sure that the villian will decay and die just like the radiation. It is sure death.

Reporter: What happened after you found out that you can emit wasabi?

Sushi Man: I just walked out of the room and yelled at my friend "Ohayou gozaimasu" (Japanese for Good Morning). He said something back in Japanese and then I replied back. He was shocked and I was too that I know Japanese. I went to work that day and my Japanese client was so impressed by my Japanese that he promoted me over my friend. My friend had to report to me. He was very angry and he said that I back stabbed him by learning Japanese in India. He threw me out of the house ..

Reporter: So this friend of yours became your arch nemesis "FISHERMAN"?

Sushi Man: Yes. He knows my real identity and so he is quite dangerous.

Reporter: What happened next?

Sushi Man: Anyways I was on the street as I didn't get my first paycheck and so I wandering on the street that night. Then I saw a number of men trying to tease a woman. Generally I call cops in such situation and wait till they arrive on the scene, much like any good citizen would do but suddenly I jumped in and started using Kung Fu,Karate,Judo and what not on those people. The girl whom I rescued was very happy and she thanked me all night long in her bedroom.

Reporter: So how did you come to be known as Sushi Man?

Sushi Man: Well my craving for eating Sushi increased a lot and I could not control it. People used to find me eating sushi like every other hour and it like rejuvenated me whenever I was tired. The only thing I ate was Sushi and so some of my colleagues started calling me Sushi Man instead of Sushil. I kind of liked that name.

Reporter: Then?

Sushi Man: I became completely obsessed with Sushi. I started drawing it on papers and walls and soon I thought I should make a dress for myself out of Nori (seaweed used to wrap Sushi).

Reporter: A dress out of Nori is a great idea.

Sushi Man: Once my enemies tried to starve me out but I ate my uniform made up of Nori and survived. I bet no other superhero thought of making an edible uniform.

Reporter: None, you are great. So then what happened..

Sushi Man: In the morning I was a software engineer and at night I used to wear a uniform made of Nori to fight against crime. 

Reporter: What made you decide that you want to fight crime?

Sushi Man: MANGA COMICS! I read a great many of and that too in Japanese , so I decided someone someday is going to write a Manga series on me. 

Reporter: But how did the general public started calling you SUSHI MAN.

Sushi Man: MARKETING! I printed a lot of contact cards , on the back I put photos of beautiful models and on the front I wrote "SUSHI MAN" and my contact details. Then I went to most crime infested areas of Tokyo and before the cops could intervene I would size up the criminals. When the would be victims thanked I gave them my card. Now once you a beautiful male or female model on the card people generally don't throw it. So slowly the word spread that there is this Sushi Man who is just a phone call away.

Reporter: But couldn't anybody track you from the phone number that you mentioned.

Sushi Man: No I hired a call centre in India , so the phone call is routed to a 24  hours call centre and then the call centre guys do the analysis and then I visit people on a priority basis.  Only a few people in the call centre know my real phone number.

Reporter: And not only are you a superhero but also a crime detective. How do you manage to do that?

Sushi Man: OUTSOURCING!  I send details required for investigation to detectives in India and China. Now cops complain about low salaries and high work hours , so I thought why not outsource crime solving. You can get things investigated at much lower cost elsewhere and boy you have seen for your yourself the quality of work.

Reporter: Yes. May I ask a personal question.

Sushi Man: How much personal it is?

Reporter: Not much.

Sushi Man: Look I am not like Superman who likes to show off his personal stuff to people. I am a private man. So please don't ask very personal question.

Reporter: What did Superman do?

Sushi Man: You can ask anything to a person who wears his underpants outside. Right? I am not like that.

Reporter: Do you have a girlfriend?

Sushi Man: Ohh!! I had one, but she is no longer with us.

Reporter: Did your enemy kill her?

Sushi Man: It is all fate. Sins of past life. Karma!!

Reporter: I didn't get you.

Sushi Man: My girlfriend told me that I should lift her and take her on a ride in the sky just like Superman took his girlfriend. I said that I can't fly as you see fishes can't fly. But she couldn't listen, so I told her that I can swim below ocean and I can take in my arms her below the Pacific Ocean instead of the sky. She jumped in my arms and I took her below the ocean and she didn't say a word. When we reached the other side I found out that she was dead (sigh). She forgot to wear her Oxygen Mask.

Reporter: Ohh!! I am so sorry.

Sushi Man: No body can fight his destiny. Her horoscope had indications that she might die young due to breathing problems.

Reporter: Do you believe in horoscope?

Sushi Man: Yes I do, I am also an astrologer. My whole family is in to astrology.

Reporter: Wow! Tell me more.

Sushi Man: When I was born the planets in Natal Chart (Horoscope) were arranged in the shape of Fish. My great grandfather who predicted all the world wars even before he was born said that this child , that is me, would be associated with fish all throughout his life. My parents refused to believe it but you can see for yourself how it all turned out. Superheroes will come and go but Superpower will stay.

Reporter: Superpower!!

Sushi Man: Almighty God. The only superpower, he will stay. Through astrology we can get a glimpse of his wishes.

Reporter: We never knew that you are so spiritual.

Sushi Man: I am the only spiritual superhero. Please write that too.

Reporter: Sure. Tell me more.

Sushi Man: I went to Nagasaki and called all the lawyers, politicians and crime lords. Then I took read their future through their horoscopes. Not one of them had a good future. Then I advised them that for good fortune they should leave crime and chant God's name and do breathing exercises like Yoga. All of them took my advise , look at the crime rate of Nagasaki today.

Reporter: What is they wouldn't have listened?

Sushi Man: I always have my radioactive wasabi to convince them.

Reporter: What other powers you have?

Sushi Man: I can do telepathy like dolphins do. It is what ever man could wish for. Imagine being able to flirt with your secretary without saying a word. Your spouse would not even find out.  I use this skill sometimes to solve crimes.

Reporter: What else?

Sushi Man: I can sting like sting ray. I have the ability to communicate with fishes and amphibians. 

Reporter: How are these useful?

Sushi Man: Stinging is mostly useful against nosy journalists and I have caught great many criminals and solved many a great mysteries due to ability to talk to fishes. 

Reporter: How?

Sushi Man: Many a criminals commit murder and spill beans about their master plan thinking that there is no one but for this innocent Gold Fish swimming sad and alone in the Fish Bowl. The same fish then tells me everything and that leads to the destruction of criminals and thus destruction of crime.

Reporter: Why should they call you , why not some one else like Batman, Spiderman or Superman?

 

Reporter: Well let me explain to you in this way. If all pills , just for sake of assumption are equally potent then you should take the one with no side effect. Spiderman carries a baggage of his parents death, uncle's death and so on. He is like an adult unable to deal with issues which even teenagers deal easily. So  you cant really trust him. He might go on mad rampage himself. Every one who has come in contact with Batman  dies. Everyone but for the bats. I have heard batman has rabies. Now Superman, look he wears his underpants outside , if I am guy I would not go near him and I would not send my wife. daughter or sister any where near that guy. There is something not quite right about him. I have no side effects.

Cameraman: Except that you back stab others.

 

Reporter: What?

 

Cameraman: I am FISHERMAN , your enemy. Be ready to die.

A voice from behind: I knew you are fisherman.

Camerman/ Fisherman turns behind and there is another Sushi Man standing behind him.

Reporter: Twins.

Sushi Man( STanding behind): I am real sushi man. The man you are interviewing is my decoy. He is just moving 

his lips and I am saying everything. 

Reporter: Wow! you even keep look alikes as decoy. 

Sushi Man: The other super heroes never thought of this too. They are stupid.

Reporter: Wow! you are great.

Sushi Man: Put your weapon down FISHERMAN, you are under arrest.

Reporter: I love you Sushi Man.

Sushi Man (Turning to audience): I LOVE YOU ALL. I love you mom, please don't shy away from hugging me just because I smell of fish (sob).

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Submitted by cat woman (not verified) on Thu, 06/05/2014 - 07:11
superb!!

10m Comedy Skits - Superhero SushiMan