(2m)   by gritt brewer

Comedy Skits   (35434 Views 2 Comments)

                                                         (   STORE SECURITY GUARD STANDING OUTSIDE SUPERMARKET )


POLICE OFFICER: I presume it was you who made the call sir?

SECURITY GUARD: I did officer. I know somethings not adding up, I think I've stumbled on to something huge.

POLICE OFFICER: I am sure we can sort it out. How long have you worked here?

SECURITY GUARD: Excluding the one hour induction, twenty three minutes. They do have to pay me for the induction so you can put down one hour twenty three minutes in your notebook.


                                           ( SUPERMARKET MANAGER WALKS OUT AND APPROACHES )


MANAGER: Oh my god. Did this fool call you officer? This is so embarrassing. Can you please tell him to just go away?

SECURITY GUARD: I won't stand by and be gagged. I know somethings going on. Something is being covered up.

MANAGER: You didn't see anything. You are a crazy man, a danger to the public.

POLICEMAN: Okay that's enough bickering. You saw something. Enlighten me.

SECURITY GUARD: I completed the induction at nine. It was easy and I was eager to bring my natural inborn vigilance to this business. I took up a position near the checkouts. It was then it happened.

MANAGER: This is absurd.

POLICEMAN: Please sir, let him tell me his story.

SECURITY GUARD: Thank you officer. At checkout number two a woman approached with a shopping trolley and as is normal unloaded all her goods on the conveyor. Well that is all except one. I immediately noticed and began close surveillance. The goods on the conveyor were packed and paid for. What had remained in the trolley was not paid for. I said to myself that is a criminal conspiracy and restrained both the woman and the cashier with cable ties I had paid for out of my own pocket. Next thing I know It's instant dismissal and I'm both confused and distressed.

POLICEMAN: It doesn't seem like just reward for your vigilance. Maybe your former manager can tell me why you were sacked for catching thieves?

MANAGER: I don't believe this but let me tell you why he was sacked. A customer approaches a checkout with a trolley full of groceries. Also sitting in the trolley was her baby son. That was the item this idiot said she didn't pay for.

POLICEMAN: The item that wasn't paid for was a baby.

MANAGER: Yes officer. We will no doubt be sued by the customer and our employee. I was so embarrassed having to cut them free in front of our other customers. I am only grateful he didn't put cable ties on the baby as well. Can you please just get him to go far far away.

SECURITY GUARD: I am not going anywhere. My distress and confusion are well founded. I had not seen the real scandal in my enthusiasm to perform the duties I was employed for. The monsters that own this supermarket chain are selling children. That is so wrong on every level. Buying a child from a supermarket has to be illegal. It was then it hit me like a thunderbolt. I had apprehended two people who were actually liberating one of these unfortunate infants. The world needs to know whats going on.

MANAGER: I think its time to call medical help officer

POLICEMAN: I think its time to make things clear for our somewhat puzzled security man. 

MANAGER: Thank you so much officer.

POLICEMAN: The woman and cashier you restrained were set free by the manager. He sent the shopper on her way and the cashier back to work. Can't you see whats obvious. He's a good man who is working with the two women rescuing children from this dastardly enterprise. How long they could have continued their good work is anybody's guess when the revenues start to show major shortfalls. I'm glad to say both of ye are on the side of common decency.

SECURITY GUARD: You mean I'm a hero and I'll get my job back?

MANAGER: You are not getting your job back

POLICEMAN: He's right. You will not be getting your job back. I am going to track down this supermarkets baby warehouse and put the bastards out of business




Comedy Type: Humor Type: Comedy Scene:
3 Person
Script Length: Post date: Script Market:
Permission for use:
Permission not required

Author's Message

When I was young my mother always walked around the supermarket with two baskets as I point blank refused to sit in a trolley.

Copyright Statement




Submitted by a.hamilton-blac... on Wed, 11/18/2020 - 11:18
This is funny, I will attempt to put this into production with expressed permission of the writer.
Submitted by gritt brewer on Wed, 11/18/2020 - 13:18
You are more than welcome to use the script best of luck with your endeavours