Soldiers

Soldiers

(5m)   by ballekumar
 

Comedy Skits   (14059 Views 0 Comments)

(Robert and Steve are two soldiers˜guarding˜a post in some undisclosed destination.)

Robert:˜Dude , we have to capture the enemy post.

Steve:˜Yes, but are you sure that there is only one of them?

Robert:˜I thought I saw him smiling to someone.

Steve:˜He was smiling to himself. He hasn't moved, well not this entire body. Where was his other hand when he was smiling? Come to think of it. Deep down we all have the same urges , why do we fight it? Forget it, no time for all this. Lets run and capture the post.

Robert:˜What if he runs at the same time and captures ours? And if he is faster then he will fire on our back while we are still running.

Steve:˜Yes,so what do you suggest?

Robert:˜One of us stays behind.

Steve:˜Ok you run? I stay.

Robert:˜Why me?

Steve:˜I am married. If I die what will happen to my family? You are not married. You are˜expendable. My children are the future of this nation. I need to take care of the future.

Robert:˜I am not single by choice you see and I am already paying more tax as a single and doing my duty towards the nation. Your kid must be getting that extra scoop of ice cream because of single people like me paying tax.˜May be its your time for action. Also if are injured still you stay married but if I am injured it would be difficult for me to get married.

Steve:˜Come on˜!

Robert: You married army men get married by impressing upon girls about your heroic antics and then after marriage send us single guys on risky missions. Bull shit! You go!

Steve:˜We draw a lot.

Robert:˜Why don't we toss a coin?

Steve:˜Because its a myth that the chance of head or tail is exactly 50 %. The coin is always in favor of one of them. If they catch anyone then they crucify you with your face towards the cross. You keep guessing where the next nail will go. So to be fair lets draw lots.˜

(Robert writes the names and Steve picks up a lot)

Steve:˜Its Steve. Ok best of two.

Robert:˜Ok as you wish!

Steve:˜Its Steve again. Ok best of three.

Robert:˜As you say , my friend.

Steve:˜Why are you being so nice? Let me see the lots. It's my name on both. You cheat.

Robert:˜Ok. Listen we call up the command and tell that there are many out there and ask for reinforcements.

Steve:˜Good Idea!

(A team of 15 with the Platoon commander arrives on the scene)

Commander(After looking through his binaculors):˜There is only one out there.

Steve:˜No there were many.˜

Commander:˜You fools , this is just a simulation. Once you start running and fire at the post. He will just apply ketchup and act dead.˜You both run. Start now.

Robert:˜Ok. I was telling Steve the same. He didn't figure that out. Here we go.

(They both run and fire at the post and upon reaching the post,call up)

Steve:˜The ketchup seems to have gone inside the body by making a hole. The person is either a superb actor or is really dead because of the ketchup˜mixing with blood , or whatever it is.˜

Robert:˜Must be some radioactive ketchup.

Commander's second:˜Sir , was this simulation.

Commander:˜No, they have killed a terrorist. Just don't tell them till we reach there!! Or just don't tell them and we will get the award.˜

Commander's second: You are great Sir.

Commander: You know what is the most important thing in leadership.

Commander's second: No Sir.

Commander:˜Finding a Scapegoat.

Comedy Type: Script Length: Post date: Script Market:
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5m Comedy Skits - Soldiers