(5m)   by bkuniverse

Comedy Skits   (26105 Views 1 Comments)

Woman: Why do you want to kill me?

Pirate: I need to show my captain that I am a pirate. I haven't killed anyone since I joined and it looks bad.

Woman: But you can leave me? I might have something to give to you.

Pirate: Stop removing your clothes.

Woman: Why? You can't control yourself.

Pirate: I said stop because you will catch cold. I want to kill you when you are healthy. Be ready, I am going to kill you now.

Woman: You can take me to your captain. He might like me.

Pirate: No he won't.

Woman: You can sell me on some port.

Pirate: No we won't dock anywhere and rations are less. An extra mouth to feed. Who wants it?

Woman: Are you not interested in me? Or what?

Pirate: I am not interested in any woman.

Woman: What? Are you ..?

Pirate: Yes.

Woman: What about your captain?

Pirate: All the pirates on my ship have the same interest.

Woman: This is the only time a beautiful woman instead of thanking her stars would curse them for being captured by gay pirates.

Pirate: Be ready to die!!

Woman: No. What about hidden treasure?

Pirate:OK. I am listening. Where is it?

Woman: You take me to your captain and I will tell him.

Pirate: You are telling a lie.

Woman: No I am not. How do you know that?

Pirate: Because all women are liars.

Woman: Who told you that?

Pirate:My mom.

Woman: So if your Mom is a woman and she told all women are liars then she is also a liar. Hence what she told about all women is not true. So all women are not liars.

Pirate:Wow you are right. You think like a man. Let me take you to captain.

(He takes the woman to the captain)

Captain: So here you are with the captive? Why didn't you kill her?

Pirate: She has something useful to tell.

Captain: What?

Pirate: A treasure.

Captain: A treasue as in a recipe for Fish n Chips.

Pirate: No a real treasure.

Captain: Lady!! Speak. Where is the treasure?

Woman: I should be set free if you are happy.

Captain: No treasure can make me that happy to not murder an innocent.

Pirate: What a great dialogue? You should have been a script writer for some play, Captain.

Captain: I always wanted to act in plays and write and direct them but alas I became a pirate.

Woman: Have you heard of the French actor La Bussy.

Captain: Ohh!! I am a great fan of him. I have his painting. What an handsome guy?

Woman: So you like him.

All Pirates: We all do. His painting is in our shower room.

Woman: Will you set me free if I get you La Bussy?

Captain: Where is he? Is he on this ship?

Woman: I want my freedom.

Captain: Ok!! I will set you free.

Woman: He is hiding in one of the whisky drums.

Captain: Get him!!

(Pirates bring La Bussy before the captain)

Captain: Welcome to my ship.

La Bussy: Leave me , you will get a great ransom

Captain: Heh I am not greedy. You will be our guest for a long time.

La Bussy: No I don't want to.

Captain: Ohh!! you will be taken care of. You will sleep on my bed tonight.

La Bussy: No.

Pirate: It's an honour.

La Bussy: You woman, why did you tell them about me.

Woman:You gave everyone an autograph and not me.

La Bussy: I didn't notice you.

Woman: You didn't allow me to have a painting made with you. It would have taken only a few minutes.

La Bussy: I am happy I didn't. Your face would have reduced my face value.

Woman:Captain, set me free.

Captain: Ohh!! yes , throw her in the ocean.

Woman: No....

(Pirates throw the woman in to ocean and La Bussy on the Captains bed. The sharks eat the woman and the captain eats the .............u all know what La Bussy's fate would be)

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Submitted by ojg (not verified) on Wed, 02/26/2014 - 21:03
This sucks so much man! like seriously. It's not even funny.

5m Comedy Skits - Pirates