Norman Allguy: Moral Compass for Rent!
[Norm Ahlguy Inc, aka Norm Al-Guy LLC, et al]
MISSION STATEMENT: "Everyone is always asking how a normal person would react in situations others find uncomfortable or offensive. So we send in Norm to keep you, our client, on the straight and narrow, reacting to situations as any normal person would and should."
SERVICES PROVIDED: For a small fee Norm will ride around with you in your car when you are pulled over by corrupt cops who threaten to arrest you for not being respectful. Norm will step in and say "Hold on, a normal guy in this situation would be upset. And it's the responsibility of the police to be professional when dealing with citizens."
Norm will then take the beating from the police instead of you, and this is included in the fee.
For a larger fee Norm will stay with you in your home overnight, so when your jealous girlfriend accuses you of cheating and starts throwing things, Norm will step in and say "relations between lovers will always be a mystery, thats the beauty of it. And any normal person can get upset by-"
Then Norm will get beat up by the same cops, who burst in and arrest Norm for a domestic violence/assault & battery charge. This is included in the fee as well.
So call now or go to our website!