Noah

Noah

(2m)   by bkuniverse
 

Comedy Skits   (22578 Views 6 Comments)

Noah: I spoke to God today! Wife: You have no time to speak to me!

Noah: Really, today God told me!

Wife: You know I am a communist and I don't believe in God!

Noah: God told me to build a big ship!

Wife: Jesus H Christ!

Noah: What?

Wife: We don't have money for cruise and you want to build a Titanic!

Noah: Just listen!

Wife: I have been listening to your nonsense for a long time; I want to see a good lawyer now!

Noah: God told me that there is going to be a flood!

Wife: I am sure this God is some young girl! You never listen to anybody otherwise!

Noah: Listen, in a few days there would be a flood which will destroy everything!

Wife: OK! Doomsday again! Stop talking to your Inca cousin!

Noah: And there is something else!

Wife: What?

Noah: We need to prevent animals from going extinct and so we need to take them on the ship!

Wife: You need to see a shrink!

Noah: You need to trust me!

Wife: Look you can build a ship and build a zoo on it! I need a divorce right now!

Noah: Listen, I need a loan to build a ship and my credit history is very bad!

Wife: No, I am not going to help you with that!

Noah: Please, just one last time!

Wife: Why can't she build it herself?

Noah: Who?

Wife: Your mistress! God or Goddess!

Noah: No, listen, this is serious!

Wife: Listen! You are neither a civil engineer nor an architect! Say even if you build a boat, how the hell are we going to navigate it!

Noah: So, what should I do?

Wife: What you do for living?

Noah: What?

Wife: Steal a ship!

Noah: OK! That?s a good idea!

Wife: And then raid the zoo and abduct all the animals on gunpoint!

Noah: You are a genius!

Wife: Every woman is a genius till she marries!

Noah: Why are you saying like that?

Wife: Ever wonder why God only talks to men!

Noah: No.

Wife: Because men are delusional, women are sane! No woman is going to believe in that shit anyways!

Comedy Type: Script Length: Post date: Script Market:
Public

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Comments

   

Submitted by Jammer8406015 (not verified) on Fri, 11/22/2013 - 19:23
HI I have this School CAmp and I have to do a skit. CAn I use this one please? Please reply ASAP.
Submitted by bkuniverse on Sat, 11/23/2013 - 01:41
@Jammer8406015 Please feel free to use any of my skits.
Submitted by Jmachowe97 (not verified) on Mon, 09/22/2014 - 16:17
Hi, I'm doing comedic monologues at my school, and I love this script! Can I use it for my school practice?
Submitted by bkuniverse on Fri, 09/26/2014 - 09:58
@Jmachowe97 Yes please.
Submitted by musodoc on Sun, 11/23/2014 - 10:26
Hi, I am part of a group in the uk who put on comedy sketch shows with the only aim to raise money for wothwhile causes. I love this sketch can I use this in future shows. Many thanks
Submitted by bkuniverse on Mon, 11/24/2014 - 00:14
@Si Doc Please feel free to use any of my scripts.

2m Comedy Skits - Noah