Musical Pest Control

Musical Pest Control

(3m)   by gritt brewer

Comedy Skits   (12940 Views 0 Comments)

man: you called us about problems with household pests

woman: thank god you're here. we're overrun with mice

man: are you sure they're mice?

woman: I think they're too small to be rats. surely your traps catch all rodents?

man: we don't use traps

woman: well then your poison kills everything?

man: we don't use poison

woman: are you telling me you gas them or shoot them?

man: we don't visit any violence upon household pests, we relocate them

woman: I'm not understanding you. you don't kill them you relocate them. what are you going to do, threaten them with legal action for being squatters?

man: serving a legal document on rodents would be futile mam

woman: no killing, I cant believe I've hired a crackpot Buddhist pest control outfit

man: I assure you mam we are in this business along time. killing is not the way. we find it only kindles a desire for revenge. relocation leaves little or no bitterness

woman: okay then, can you please relocate my mice?

man: you're sure they're mice not small rats or shrews?

woman: what does it matter? I want rid of them

man: well if you play a pipe tune to a mouse he'll stay where he is. on the other hand a rat will dance out the door

woman: wow I've heard it all now, you're the all new pied piper

man: if you like mam, we prefer musical pest control

woman: I must remember to pay the bill so

man: very good mam, I'll just get my saxophone man returns with saxophone

woman: a saxophone entices mice?

man: tried and tested. I'll try a little up tempo number. { plays a tune}

woman: nothings happening

man: you don't have Dormice. we'll jazz it up a little and see if you have field mice. {plays another tune}

woman: Christ look there's loads of them. they're dancing
{mice dance all the way into the back of the mans van}

woman: that was amazing

man: sometimes when you hear your favorite tune you cant help but get up and dance. last week I had hundreds of rats doing the conga into my van

woman: you're a magician

man: its musical pest control

woman: where will you relocate the mice to?

man: our warehouse

woman: what do you do with them?

man: we use them to feed the children. as you said yourself remember to pay the bill

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Author's Message

hope this is published might make a good sketch

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3m Comedy Skits - Musical Pest Control