( FINISHING LINE AT THE LONDON MARATHON )
RUNNER: Thank heavens that's over. I suppose its always tough the first time you do it.
RACE STEWARD: Very good sir. Now if you could move to one side, we are expecting the Olympic champion shortly.
RUNNER: He's not by any chance that Kenyan chap I passed about five miles back?
RACE STEWARD: Yes the Olympic champion is Kenyan, that is common knowledge, As for passing him five miles back I admire your sense of humor
RUNNER: Glad to hear you appreciate it. The champ certainly didn't. When I came up behind him I shouted watch out STAMPEDE. You should have seen his grumpy face when I left him in my wake.
RACE STEWARD: I'm sure if that happened it would have been most amusing to observe. Now if you could vacate the finishing area that would be great.
RUNNER: You are making a hell of a fuss about this Olympic guy. Hold on just a second, don't tell me I have won the London marathon.
RACE STEWARD: To win you have to complete the full course, not just the last little bit.
RUNNER: I started at the start like everybody else. I wasn't even up the front. I'm actually going mad that I stopped halfway for breakfast. I could have have thrown away my chance of victory.
RACE STEWARD: If you're claiming you won you're a liar and a fantasist. Now please clear off.
RUNNER: Why don't you believe me?
RACE STEWARD: Because you're dressed as a Centaur. That's the reason as if you didn't know.
RUNNER: I would agree one hundred per cent with you on the cheating thing if I was an actual Centaur. Having two extra legs would I agree give me a unfair advantage. The fact is I'm wearing a costume that is a disadvantage as the rear legs which are not mine have to be dragged along.
RACE STEWARD: I think I see someone approaching. Must be the champ.
RUNNER: That's a very strange running style he's got
MAN APPROACHES IN A KANGAROO OUTFIT SKIPPING ALL THE WAY TO THE LINE
RUNNER 2: That Kenyan chap not too happy with me. I accidentally hit him with my tail as I skipped past him. Have I just won the London marathon.
RUNNER: Second I'm afraid. I just pipped you.
RUNNER 2: I knew I shouldn't have brought my kids along in my pouch.