Insurance Agent

Insurance Agent

(5m)   by bkuniverse
 

Comedy Skits   (26498 Views 0 Comments)

Somewhere in the future where space travel has become common and we have realized that humans are not alone in the universe an Insurance Agent meets an alien on an unknown and uncharted planet.

Alien: What are you?

Insurance Agent: I am a member of the most intelligent species on Earth.

Alien: Really!! Are you a rat? You don't look like one though.

Insurance Agent: I am not a rat. Humans are the most intelligent species and not rats.

Alien: Really !! Our encyclopaedia says that humans are colonized by rats. Humans build houses for rates and grow food for rats. Whenever rats get pissed off with human they straighten them out with plague.

Insurance Agent: Well I never thought like that. You people have a great perspective. Actually they must talking about the sub species of humans called 'Poor People'. You see all humans are not equal and we have many sub species like Lawyers. Doctors, Politicians, Insurance Agents and poor people. There are many more but I can't recollect all of them. I am an Insurance Agent. 

Alien: Wow!! We didn't know that.What is Insurance Agent? Never heard of that.

Insurance Agent: Your planet is beautiful.

Alien: Yes it is.

Insurance Agent: Is that your son? The one with 4 legs and a beautiful hunch and has that green mucous coming out of it. What a handsome son? What a great palace you have?

Alien: Oh! you are very courteous. We heard the people of your species are rude.

Insurance Agent: Not the insurance agents.

Alien: How did you land here?

Insurance Agent: I like took two small asteriods and glued them on my ears. Then I stood on the integrgalactic highway sobbing and waved hand to passing spaceships. One of them stopped and I told them that my only child is on your planet and is ill and this suitcase contains the medicine by which I can review her. That great person brought me here. 

Alien: Where is he?

Insurance Agent: Ohh!! he died of exertion due to the journey. We had very little food left and he gave me his share. I buried him and came here. What a great man?

Alien: You are kind too.

Insurance Agent: Yes but fate is not kind to him. You know if he could have just signed on one paper we would paid a million space dollars to his family.

Alien: Just like that! Free!

Insurance Agent: Yes , absolutely  free. 

Alien: Wow!! You people are so kind.

Insurance Agent: Look you have this palace , these children and so much property and say one day due to a mishap you are no longer there then who will take care of your sons and daughter. Or say you fall ill or say there is a meteor shower and  only your house is destroyed then you need money to rebuild everything.

Alien: Yes I do.

Insurance Agent: My company offers you all the money.It takes care of you under all circumstances.We call the money as Coverage.

Alien: Ohh!! wait so you are on the the kind Gods for whom Earthlinks keep on fighting with each other.

Insurance Agent: Something like that, you are right. God is the greatest insurance agent ever. It is just that most of times he sends the coverage money  to the wrong benefeciary.We keep the money for ourself if we don't find the right person but we don't allow your neighbor to make fun of you by giving it to someone else.

Alien: So if I sign the paper that you say I am protected. 

Insurance Agent: Yes.

Alien:Wow!! show me the paper.

Insurance Agent: Just one thing else.


Alien: What?

Insurance Agent: There is something know as premium. Benevolent people like us have given so much money to the poor and needy that we are not having enough so we ask each person pay a small amount to us per month.

Alien:Sure.

Insurance Agent: The money you pay is obviously proportional to the money you would expect.


Alien: Wow so fair!!

Insurance Agent: Yes.

Alien: So who decides the premium?

Insurance Agent: Actually, first insurance was free and no one was required to pay any premium but then the Big Bang

happened and we are still paying to all the people who got affected. So now to shoulder the responsibility

of that debt we are requesting for premium. We decide it because we know the logisitics of this entire operation.

Alien: What happens if we stop paying?

Insurance Agent: Then just like a loving father denies food to his mischivious son, we don't pay you anything  if something happens.

Alien: OK. Why can't the premium be voluntary?

Insurance Agent: Then it would be fair to make coverage voluntary also.

Alien: Ohh yes!!

Insurance Agent: So what do you want to insure?

Alien: My house

Insurance Agent: How much is it?

Alien: A million space dollars.

Insurance (Calculates): For about a 1000 space dollars a month we will pay every penny if your house is destroyed due to any natural disaster.

Alien: But our government also would give us a new house if something happens.

Insurance Agent: What if there is no government?

Alien: Well we always have the government which pays our children's school, our health and much more.

Insurance Agent: How does your government afford that?

Alien: We invade and colonize other planets. Its simple.

Insurance Agent: Wow you have a real nice government.

Alien: So I don't need this.

Insurance Agent: Yes but if the government is not there and something happens then you want to be the only man smiling around. Don't you?

Alien: No its too costly.

Insurance Agent: Well let me sell you the Umbrella Policy , if anything happens to any one of you any time , we cover you.

Alien: Wow !! that looks good.For the same money.

Insurance Agent:  For half of it but only on one condition. You help me find 10 more people like you and if you find more I will make you an agent yourself on this planet. I can assure you that there is not a single person alive who has issues with Insurance.

Alien: So how much do you make?

Insurance Agent: Nothing much I just owe a few miles of land in New York.

Alien: OK!! thats the most backward city in the universe. 

Insurance Agent: Yes. But still I like to help people, so I do it.

Alien: Wow!! You are great man!! How do you plan to go back though?

Insurance Agent: I haven't thought of it. I always raise a family on whichever planet I come and stay there for a few years. Then I insure the whole planet and leave it. Coming to think of it you people closely resemble to some animals on our planet.

Alien: Yes , we are related to the roaches on your planet. As we age we become smaller in size , the size of a roach on your planet and so we send all the aged people to earth and other planets to live their life.

Insurance Agent: That's why the population of roaches keep on increasing.

Alien: How do you treat them?

Insurance Agent: Well we treat people like roaches. 

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5m Comedy Skits - Insurance Agent