Bad Place

Bad Place

()   by Lenard

Comedy Skits   (16709 Views 0 Comments)

An alien ship is passing by our solar system. Two aliens are returning home after a long trip.

Alien 1: Sir we’re running low on plutonium. We’re going to have to make a stop within next couple of light years.

Alien 2: Let’s make a stop in this solar system. That planet right there looks like it could have some form of intelligent life.

Alien1: Actually it does sir. But I’m not sure if I would call it intelligent.

Alien2: Oh come on, it can’t be that bad, what’s the place called?

Alien1: Planet Earth sir; third one from the sun. I would advise that we stay away from it.

Alien2: Nonsense. Seems like a nice place. What’s wrong with the Earthlings?

Alien1: Well, for example, they’re not even aware there is life outside of their planet.

Alien2: Wow, I've heard of places like these; never seen one though.

Alien1: Feast your eyes sir, but not for long, because this place is dangerous.

Alien2: Tell me more about these primitives.

Alien1: They’re being hit by a global warming as we speak.

Alien2: Natural or artificial?

Alien1: Artificial sir. The planet is overpopulated.

Alien2: Well, why don’t they just stop it? Did they already enact the law that limits the number of kids per household?

Alien1: No sir.

Alien2: And why not?

Alien1: I guess it never occurred to them to do so.

Alien2: How can it not occur to them? It’s the simplest thing in the world. Are their rulers that dumb?

Alien1: They don’t elect their rulers based on intelligence. Most of them come from average or even low intelligent groups.

Alien2: How is that possible? What about the smart people, geniuses. What do they do?

Alien1: Smart people have no choice. They’re minority. Sure, they take the chance when they get it. The problem is they don’t get it very often. Only once in the history of this planet they were allowed to take control and they changed the life for better; only for a brief moment and they were pushed back again.

Alien2: By who?

Alien1: By rich people. They wealth was threatened by such a radical change in the system.

Alien2: But scientific change can bring improvement for everyone.

Alien1: Rich people don’t want improvement for everyone, just for themselves.

Alien2: But why, why?

Alien1: Because they don’t measure their wealth based on how much they have, but how well they compare to others around them. It’s called greed.

Alien2: Wow, what a primitive form of life. Don’t they believe in god, or gods?

Alien1: Most of their religions are monotheistic. But they fight wars against each other all the time.

Alien2: Why, because their gods have different agendas?

Alien1: No, all of their gods are pretty much the same, love and peace agenda.

Alien2: Why are they fighting then?

Alien1: I don’t know sir. It seems like they can’t agree of the name for the god.

Alien2: Why don’t they just agree that god has many names?

Alien1: It never occurred to them sir.

Alien2: Dear god, you were right. We’re not stopping on this planet. Turn left over here.

Alien1: Wise choice sir.

The ship is turning away until planet earth can be seen in a rear view mirror.

Alien2: There has to be something that they do right. It can’t be all bad.

Alien1: There is sir; sex.

Alien2: What’s so special about sex? We have it too. It’s necessary for race renewal.

Alien1: You don’t understand sir, they also perform sex for the pure fun of it, not only for race renewal.

Alien2: Having sex for the fun of it. What a great idea. How come I haven’t thought of that?

Alien1: I guess it never occurred to you. You’re not thinking about mention this at the council once we get home?

Alien2: You can bet your ass I was thinking just about it.

Alien1: Sir as an individual with the highest IQ ever measured on our planet, may I advise against that step. I think the whole sex for fun thing is the main reason they are so primitive.

Alien2: We’ll see what the high council says about that.

Alien1: They don’t have to know.

Alien2: Nonsense. We will not hide this discovery from them. Get the ship going. We’re long way from home.

Alien1: But of course, sir.

Comedy Type: Post date: Script Market:

Copyright Statement


No comments yet, be the first to write one!


Comedy Skits - Bad Place