Another Romeo and Juliet
Scene ? Under Juliet's Balcony
Romeo, a young man (R:)
Juliet, a young woman (J:)
Crudio, Romeos friend (C:) - generally speaks in a modern tongue
Juliets Mother (JM:) Chairman: As this year is the 400th anniversary of the demise of that world famous
English playwright Mr William Shakespeare, our drama group will be demonstrating
their versatility by presenting a previously unknown work of the Bard. We take you to
outside No. 69 Via Vienetto, in downtown Verona, Italy, where it appears our hero is
about to speak.
R: Lo, what light from yonder window breaks tis the east and Juliet is the sun..
C: Whatcha doin Romes?
R: Oh, its thee Crudio, I'm trying to attract the attention of the most beautiful girl in the
C: I didnt know Katie Perry. lived in this street
R: No, no tis but a young maid I encountered but a few days ago.
C: You, you hardly ever go out except to the fruit market for your mum.
R: Twas there I saw her, I was gazing at some beautiful melons when I gazed up.
C: What and realised she had a face as well
R: No, Crudeo, I was looking on the melon stall and she was across the aisle. Twas love
at first sight.
C; Gerraway, she's obvious just fit and you're smitten
R: I jest thee not, tis love unrequited
C: Well, you better get on and requite it then before someone else does. Instead of just
hanging about in the street why don't you text her?
R: Oh callow youth, dost thou not know smart phones will not be invented for another
C: Good point, well made, bit of a bummer that. I know why not shine a flash light at
the window to attract her attention.
R: Another small flaw in thy suggestion, Crudio, I fear tis also several centuries before
the discovery of electricity.
C: I said flashlight Romeo, they use batteries ...derrr
R: Oh what pains I go through to educate such a, .... how shall one say ... thick git
C: Hey up son, present day suggestion, toss a tiny stone up at the window.
R: A reasonable suggestion, (to himself... 'At last') But dost thy know how brittle 16th
century glass is?
C: You might not need any of that I think someones coming t'window
R: Tis not my fair Juliet but her mother, I am destined to be apart from my beloved.
C: Nar, leave this to me Romes, (gazes up to balcony and says)
What vision of loveliness I see, Is it the fair Juliets slightly older sister?
JM: Oooh, er, no, or well it might be, who is it that enquires?
C: Tis but an admirer who would wish to know thee better. (aside to Romeo)- hey
Romes, I'm getting the hang of these thee's and thou's
JM: But fair youth, what would you have of me, my husb.. err betrothed is away at the
C: I only wish the chance to know thee better, perchance we might share a noggin or two
at the local inn, I understand the Tempest does a right nice pie n chips err does a
veritable bounteous suckling pig.
C: (to Romeo) I'll get her out of the way and leave the field open for you and Jules
C: (to JM) What say you fair maid?
JM: Let me put on some appropriate attire and meet my on the corner.
(exit JM from balcony)
C: I will await you with bated breath
C: (to Romeo) Have you got any of those, you know, erasers, perchance I get lucky.
R: I think not, ... and I do hope you will not rub her up the wrong way.
C: Wish me luck Romes
R: You'll need it, methinks
R: (to himself) Well here goes again, but wait I think someone is coming back to the
J: Romeo, Romeo wherefore art thou Romeo ...
R: I am here my beloved below thine balcony.
J: Hang about Romeo, I have another 5 minutes of speech to do yet.
R: Forgiveth me, my sweetness, what other words would thee have spake, before I
J: I had a great long speech about you forsaking your name and changing it.
R: Doest thou dislike the name Romeo for if offends you so, you may call me Roy
(aside) At least the initials on my travelling chest will be the same
J: No, not thy given name, but thy family name
R: What, pray tell, be wrong with my family name?
J: Its Bravo, and if I we were to marry, I'd feel condemned to spend my working life in
R: Well you could adopt an hyphenation and keep your family name as well
J: Tis a fair idea Roy, err Romeo, it does rather roll off the tongue better, yes I like it,
Juliet Bravo Shufflebottom it would be
R: Lets waste no more time on such matters my dearest, I feel time for us is limited.
J: How so, Romeo
R: I've already looked at page 5 of the script.
Anyway your mother is currently occupied with Crudio and we should cherish the
opportunity of this time together.
J: Very well, wouldst thee rise up and come onto my balcony?
R: Well, I was hoping only for a chaste peck on thy cheek, but I will do anything your
J: Tarry a while Romeo, I think I hear someone approaching ? yes, tis your good friend
Crudio, which must mean my mother is almost here too. Goodnight my sweet.
R: Oh drat and damn, it seems we have missed an opportunity my dearest.
J: Never worry my sweet, abstinence make the heart grow fonder.
R: Thats easy for you to say!
J: Wilt I see thee on the morrow at the market?
R: Indeed, I will be in the usual place perusing the melons, and thinking of you!
(Juliet exits inside)
R: Thou wasn't away long Crudio, how went your assignation with the matronly Mrs
C: Not well I fear, I offered her a quicky, to which she looked quite shocked.
R: I would certainly think so, particularly if you hadn't even purchased of some ale.
C: No, the problem was, apparently its pronounce 'keesh'.
R: Ah, an honest mistake to make but did you apologise when you realised.
C; I did and I think she forgave me cos she asked me to get her a glass of mead to go
with the quiche.
C: It was at that point her husband walked in from the coach park at the rear, and she did
R: So not a good night then
C: Could have been a lot worse, old Antonio Shufflebottom never spotted either of us,
and they did me a takeaway for the quiche.
R: And I have a date for the morrow with the lovely Juliet.
C: So. I guess, Alls well that ends well.
R: Lets hope the morrow doesn't bring another comedy of errors then!
(both exit) Curtain