Absolutely Worthless

Absolutely Worthless

(2.5m)   by tommitch.tf
 

Comedy Skits   (22286 Views 1 Comments)

Frank and Jerry are two CEOs of the biggest banks in America. While in an office drinking champagne:

Frank: Well, that was another successful day for frozen orange juice.

Jerry: You know what Frank, I think this sucks. Everything about this business all we get is crap from people against big banks.

Frank: I know. I mean, I can't even get through the streets with those fools trying to ask for money.

Jerry: No, Frank those are just homeless guys... Sometimes I don't know how you can be a CEO.

Frank: And then those police people trying to oppress me because of what I stand for.

Jerry: Again Frank, you're not in the NWA or any rap group. You're the whitest person I know.

Frank: And then...

Jerry:... Before your obnoxious comment... I'm talking about the lorax looking guy out there yelling at us to unchain our pens. That needs to stop; it's clearly an act of ignorance.

Frank: Ohhhhhh! That's just Bernie Sanders keeping himself occupied after losing the nomination to a woman. Like, a woman?!?! I'd be doing the same. But yeah, it needs to stop. Pens HAVE to be chained.

Jerry: Bernie's just out there screaming no one steals our pens but we all know the only reason our salaries are causing poverty..

Frank: ... We save pens. I remember who came up with that idea. The previous CEO that stole the idea from his limo driver.

Jerry: We all know the chained pens are the best way to keep everything we have. Like my ten muscle cars. You can't only have nine or eight, that'd be insane.˜

Frank: And without the pens, I wouldn't be able to support the three families I unknowingly created.

Jerry: This is the start of our anti-antibank movement! Pens need to stay because we'd lose all of the money. It would kill the economy by raising the middle class.

Frank: And we call it... Don't Prevent... wait for it... the one percent.
The two of them frolick off into the crowds of the anti bank movement to start their journey which inevitably leads them to becoming homeless.

Comedy Type: Script Length: Post date: Script Market:
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Comments

   

Submitted by whatardoz (not verified) on Thu, 02/04/2016 - 03:25
aawweessoommee!!!!!!!!!!!!

2.5m Comedy Skits - Absolutely Worthless