The Employer is looking at the resume. Mr Leo is siting on the other side of the table. He is chewing on a piece of gum.
Mr. Leo: So, what seems to be the problem?
The Employer (looking at the resume): Loose the gum please.
Mr. Leo takes the gum out of his mouth and looks where to put it. Table is empty so Mr Leo decides to put it under the table. He moves slowly but he's interupted.
The Employer(looking at the resume): Don't put it under my desk now.
Mr Leo moves the hand back. He holds the gum in his hand for the rest of the interview.
Mr Leo: So what is going on? I thought I got the job already.
The Employer: Oh you did, you did. This is just a second part of the interview. Some behavioural questions.
Mr Leo: I have never heard of such thing.
The Employer: Well we have a policy in this company that...
Mr Leo: You know what, on second thought I don't want to know. Let's just go with it. Get it out of the way, as they say.
The Employer: Good man. There is a note here in your resume that said you were forcibly remarried. I was wondering what the hell does that mean?
Mr Leo: It means exactly what it says.
The Employer. You know in this country nobody can force you to marry someone. There are laws against that.
Mr Leo: In my case it's not simple as that.
The Employer: Of course not. Would you care to explain.
Mr Leo: And explain I will. You see in the days following the tragic death of my first wife, I was in a dark place for a while. I was also in a bad economical situation. So I started robbing people.
The Employer: That's really bad.
Mr Leo: I know, but I really had no choice back then. Anyway my roberies were done with limited succes.
The Employer: You mean no succes at all.
Mr Leo: You read me like an open book. No succes at all, so I decided to rob a bank.
The Employer: And how did that work for you?
Mr Leo: Not so good. I started in good spirits. I had my jacket on, I prepared a little note that said I'm armed and dangerous, and I put my mean face on. I got into the bank and went straight to the window. I gave the lady the note, and she just looked at it and started writing on it.
The Employer: She started writing on it?
Mr Leo (yells): I know. Weird, right? You don't start writing when somebody is robbing you. You get scared and put the money on the table. Or hit the red buton or something.
The Employer: All right, calm down. What did she write?
Mr Leo: She wrote how my timing is really bad, because they were just unloading money from the truck and there was four armed guards right there in the bank.
The Employer: You didn't look around when you entered the bank?
Mr Leo: So sorry. I didn't know it was a must. First time robber, remember?
The Employer: And then?
Mr Leo: I panicked. She gave me a pen, that little bitch. I started writing. I asked her what to do. She wrote to me that whatever I decide to do I should do it quick, cause they already noticed something's going on.
The Employer: How did you get out of that one.
Mr Leo: She had this wonderfull idea. She wrote to me to get the ring of my finger, the one from my late wife, kneel down and propose to her.
The Employer: You proposed to her?
Mr Leo: What would you have me do. I didn't exactly have plan b available at the moment. And I could almost feel the guy's breath down my neck.
The Employer: On second thought it was a great idea.
Mr Leo: That's what I thought too. Needles to say, I got down on my knees I took the ring off and asked for everybody's attention.
The Employer: They fell for it.
Mr Leo: How can you not fall for it. You don't pop the big question every day. Will you... and then I rememebered I don't know her name so I looked carefully at her name tag.
The Employer: And what did the name tag said?
Mr Leo: It said Sarah. I said will you Sarah do me an honour of becoming my wife? You know what did she say? She said yes. Everybody started congratulating us. Even the guards. Her manager gave her the rest of the day off.
The Employer: It sounds like a dream.
Mr Leo: Yeah, the one you call a nightmare.
The Employer: She got you out of trouble.
Mr Leo: She took it serious. She demanded that I marry her.
The Employer: Well that's not so bad. You choose lesser evil.
Mr Leo: You 're wrong about that. Lesser evil would be prison. At least prison would be over after a while.
The Employer: Didn't you try to get rid of her?
Mr Leo: I tried right away. As soon as we left the bank I realized that she's a nutcase. I took her car keys and told her I'm driving.
The Employer: And?
Mr Leo: I put her in the trunk. Figured I would scare her a little.
The Employer: It didn't work?
Mr Leo: A cop stoped us a couple of miles down.
The employer: He saw you getting her in the trunk?
Mr Leo: Fuck no, he stoped me for speeding.
The Employer: Damn.
Mr Leo: And of course I had to explain to him whose car was it.
The Employer: Sarah's car?
Mr Leo: My fiance's car. And I explained him that I was actally taking her to the hospital.
The Employer: Wasn't it a litle suspicious you being the only one in the car?
Mr Leo: He kinda noticed that and he told me "I don't see any fiance in the car." To which I replied, that's because she is in the trunk.
The Employer: What did he say, why the hell would she be in the trunk?
Mr Leo: He used the exact same words.
The Employer: How did you get out of that one?
Mr Leo: I told him that she's alergic to sun.
The Employer: Wow, alergic to sun. Is that something pretty common?
Mr Leo: How the fuck should I know? I'm not a doctor.
The Employer: Well said. And then he checked the trunk?
Mr. Leo: Yeah, I opened it up and there she was, just lying down, minding her own bussines, and that fucker started asking her questions.
The Employer: She went with it?
Mr Leo: Yeah of course. She was my fiance. She explained that she fell down the stairs. She lost her balance after I proposed to her.
The Employer: What did the cop say?
Mr Leo: He said "congratulations" and slammed the trunk door down.
The Employer: He let you go?
Mr Leo: Not without the warning.
The Employer: Ah, the warning?
Mr Leo: He came this close to my face and told me "listen punk, I don't know what is going on and I don't really care. But I have your drivers license
right here. I know where you live. I want you to make sure your fiance doesn't fall down the stairs again. If she does then you are going to fall down the same stairs. About six times in a row. I'll personally see to it." And then he let me go.
The Employer: And you married her?
Mr Leo: I tried to get rid of her couple of more times but it only got me in bigger trouble.
The Employer: So you lived happily ever after.
Mr Leo: We went to Vegas. To one of those drive thru wedding chapels. It was my idea actually. The statistics say three out of four mariages from out there end up in a divorce within a year.
The Employer: How long ago was that?
Mr Leo: Seven months and nineteen days ago.
The Employer: Well there is still hope for you my friend.
Mr Leo (almost cries): I don't know Mr Employer. I'm not so sure anymore.
The Employer: Come on now, it's not that bad. Let's stop right there. We are finished for today. Thank you Mr Leo.
Mr Leo: Thank you Mr Employer.