Hello, good evening my name is Amanda and I am mentally ill-yeah, life's great. I should mention that now that you know I am mentally ill it would be totally inappropriate to laugh at me. No wait a second-go ahead I could use the money. Don't forget to leave your contact info on your seats. Yep. So I am what the mental health world calls a 'consumer/survivor.' I couldn't think of a more fitting title-you have no idea how many drugs I had to consume to survive.
It would be easier for me to tell you what I don't have than what I do. That is everything but psychosis and a personality disorder. I have to tell you that the worst thing is agoraphobia-ironically I am afraid to leave my house.
What you may ask is an agoraphobic doing up on a stage on a crowd? There are several reasons;
The first reason is that I really needed to vent and I am not catholic and my shrink upped his fees.
Don't get me wrong, I have people to talk to-I just have to pay them 175$ an hour.
The second reason I am standing before you is strictly financial-I made a business decision-if people were going to laugh at me anyways I might as well get paid for it.
As you probably figured I am unemployed. I have had some jobs in the past-I have. Apparently I am not that good of an employee.
And no, I am not being hard on myself. I cannot get any references from past employers for some reason.
I mean, like who here hasn't gotten baked before working a shift at a shitty job or gotten a little buzzed to make things more tolerable? Big fucking deal.
So what I lost an alzheimers patient in the psych hospital I was working for-I have ADHD for fuck sakes.
It's not my fault I stole cookies intended for seniors and stuffed some in my purse; I mean they were Voortman cookies; that and I have binge eating disorder.
Anyways, my gig is up-thanks for letting me vent. Oh and don't forget your contact info-I'll be in touch. Laughing at a mentally ill person-how dare you?