Things I hate

Things I hate

(5m)   by Matty V

Comedy Monologues   (43290 Views 3 Comments)

Comedy is hard these days. Making people laugh has evolved over the ages. Now everything is offensive and people laugh at well anger and pain. So here is a list of things I hate. 

Number 1-cucumbers on eyes at spas, don’t think I need to give a valid explanation because why the fuck do you do that. 

Number 2-people that tailgate me when I am going 80mph. Why aren’t you laughing. Are you the one eating my cars asshole. Perv

Number 3-vegans, just shut the hell up   

Number 4-chinese people with out an accent. And why do they always seem like the coolest of people. Something isnt right

Number 5-my abusive childhood

Number 6-happy birthday being sang to me at a restaurant. What is pleasing about a group of strangers singing to me with 100% direct eye contact.  Also like it comes out if butt fuck no where. You hear a distant clapping then “oh NO”   

Number 7-scat sex. Not that I have ever done it just that it pisses me off. Or more like shits me off haha a pun fucking sue me. But like even with masturbation that is that post ejaculate shame where you look down at your hands and are like “who am I”?  Imagine that but covered in someones doo doo

ok I can go on   The point is that I am a miserable person and I probably have depression. Good night all! 

Comedy Type: Humor Type: Comedy Scene:
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Life is a b I t c h.

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Submitted by Officer1774 on Tue, 10/16/2018 - 09:23
I relate to this because I have depression which loves me like my ex. They both fake it. Nice script.
Submitted by Tara.bennett_12716 on Thu, 05/07/2020 - 18:09
Hey I would love to use this for school. Could I get the full script !!
Submitted by Onepunch on Fri, 01/15/2021 - 12:10
may I please used this for a competition?

1 Person 5m Comedy Monologues - Things I hate