So Obamish

So Obamish

(3m)   by adamappleton

Comedy Monologues   (25036 Views 2 Comments)

I just watched an interview with our beloved, soon-to-leave president Obama. Great guy, sad to see him leave. The fact that we have him in office tells a lot of how great of a job George Bush had done before him. I mean, the fact that America was willing to elect a black president with a Muslim name just to make sure that we don't get another Republican in office after Bush says it all. Bush had nothing to offer, except for Dick Cheney. He's one mean piece of a senior citizen. The two of them were really close, obviously. Whenever the Democrats would ask Bush: 'What you got, what do you have to show for?' Bush would just say: 'Look at my Dick, just look at my Dick, a-holes!' - And the Democrats would have nothing to say.

But, we have to be fair and say that Obama did do some pretty good things. We've made such improvement in respect to the rights of gay population in his mandate, right? The only thing I don't like is this right to marriage. Don't get me wrong, but all the straight people are just going like: Why the hell do you want to get married?! All the straight people are getting divorced all the time, trying to get out of the damn situation. But nooo, gay people come in and they actually ask, demand the right to marry?!

Straight guys want to ban marriage in general! And here's a piece of advice for all the gays who want to get married: If you really want to get married, then be the wife! I know that many of you might prefer to be on the giving rather than on the receiving side of it, but just do it! Because, the husband might figuratively own your ass while you're married, but you'll literally get to own his ass as soon as you divorce! You get to take away everything the poor bastard owns as soon as you divorce him! It's worth the trouble, if you ask me. You really get to strip the husband naked only once you divorce him...or her.

Another good thing Obama did was this reform of our healthcare, so now we have Obamacare. It is a great thing that he gave health to the people, but really, how egotistic do you have to be to change word 'health' into your own personal name?! That's some serious dictator-like b.s.! You know of the dude in some 'jikistan' or 'menistan' or Wadiyah or whatever it's called, who named months of the year after his family and whatever other renaming dictator stuff he did? Well, we have a president who changed word 'health' to 'obama'! He's a nice guy, but that's just too much. Can you imagine telling your kid: 'Hey John, stop eating that junk food, it is unobamy for you!' Or hearing your wife say something like: 'I have some obama issues, mostly regarding my ovaries.' It's not good for us or for you, Mr. President!

But, it's ok. He has enough worries on his mind as it is. It's obvious. His hair turned white over the years, but that's just the way it goes - everybody turns white in the White House eventually. Opposite to the greenhouse effect, that's called the White House effect.

But we have a wholesome new Republican in the presidential race now, don't we? Mr. Donald Trump. I mean, in the phrase 'presidential race' he really gives a whole new meaning and importance to the word 'race'.

He really doesn't like foreigners, right? The fact that he is so ant-immigration strikes me because, had there been no immigration, Donald Trump would probably never have married and would never have all the children he has! In fact, had there been no immigration to the U.S. Donald Trump would never have been born since his mother was an immigrant to the U.S. where she met his dad. Actually, when you think about it, these are some pretty strong anti-immigration arguments.

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Hope you like it, maybe someone wants to buy it off ;-)

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Submitted by Mo (not verified) on Sat, 08/27/2016 - 19:47
Hi, i like it. It's funny. May I used for my acting class? I appreciate your response. Thank you
Submitted by adamappleton (not verified) on Thu, 01/12/2017 - 03:05
Sure thing Mo!

3m Comedy Monologues - So Obamish