Selfish Operator

Selfish Operator

(Unknown)   by AnonWriter

Comedy Monologues   (84174 Views 22 Comments)

Karrie: (answering the ringing phone) Hello, this is March of the People Hospital, how may I help you? (writes something down) Ok, let me make sure I have this right. Your sick mom, Judith, is it? Needs surgery for her eye and your willing to pay two hundred thousand dollars? (pause) Well ok (to herself) Bigger paycheck for me. (laughs) Ok ma'am, I have that down. (hangs up phone. Continues writing until phone rings again) Hello, March of the People Hospital, how may I be of your service? Kimmy, is that you? How did you get my work number? Girl, you need to hush. No, I'm not busy, I can talk. Wait, hold on, I have an incoming call. (switches to˜call)˜Hello, how may I help you here at March of the People Hospital? Uh huh? You need an ambulance right away? And your address is? Thank you. I'll page the ambulance folks right now. (back to Kimmy) Kimmy, are you still there? No, I was talking to...hold on, another call...(switch) March of the People Hospital. Oh my gosh! Mom! What happened? Dad fell down the stairs and twisted his neck? No way! Uh, mom, I'm sorry to say this...but...your going to have to hold. (back to Kimmy) Did you see that new nail polish that came out? Hold on...(switch) Hello, this is March of the People Hospital, my name is Karrie, how may I help you? Ma'am, calm down. I understand that your daughter just got hit by a train, but there is no need to yell. I mean, even though she's probably dead, she'll still be alive in your heart right? Ma'am, I find it very rude that your yelling at me, just for that, I'm putting you on hold and you have to pay me four hundred dollars (sweetly) goodbye. (back to Kimmy) Anyways...Kimmy, this lady called me and yelled at me just because her daughter got hit by a train, like it was my fault. That's the consequence you get when you don't watch your children...omg, I'm sorry Kimmy, please hold. (switches to other caller) MOTP Hospital, what happens to be your problem? Oh! Boss, hey! What? Come again? You know, for a second there, I thought you were telling me I was fired. (pause) Huh? What now? Your actually firing me?! What is this?! What for? For emotional abuse? Who did I emotionally abuse? Yeah, I remember her...remember no harm was done, I mean, I'm fine! No, you don't fire me because I QUIT!(back to˜Kimmy; sobbing) Hey Kimmy, I'll have to talk to you later. (hangs up, calls mom) Mom. No, I didn't deal with the dad situation yet. I have something to tell you, I didn't do anything...but they fired me! ME! Hold on...(to other caller) Hello? I DON'T CARE! I don't work here anymore! Stop calling me, you imbosol! (hangs up; back to mom, sobbing) They fired me! I'm just in shock! Huh? What? What did you say? One more time...(sighs) Yeah mom, I'll hold...


Comedy Type: Script Length: Post date: Script Market:

Author's Message

Ever wondered what operators are really doing doing work? Karrie is an operator who ignores all the emergency calls at a local hospital. But soon gets a bite back. Enjoyed this? Follow me on twitter @jenorahamilton to keep up with me! Or reach me at

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Submitted by marie (not verified) on Sat, 02/11/2012 - 01:20
omg i just love this and i think i might do it for this contest! thanks for posting it!!
Submitted by CDW.Mcculloch on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 06:14
I likw=ed this alot. Love to use this, would that be ok?
Submitted by Alisha (not verified) on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 19:20
hi great monologue was wondering if i could please use it for my drama class
Submitted by merritt.bro. on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 08:10
Very funny! Could I please use this for my speech class?
Submitted by not aloud to te... (not verified) on Sat, 11/03/2012 - 13:44
im gonna use this for my speach tournament thats ok right??
Submitted by not aloud to te... (not verified) on Sat, 11/03/2012 - 13:46
or i was wondering if i could
Submitted by Maddy (not verified) on Thu, 11/29/2012 - 10:43
Hi my theater class is putting on a very small production made up of various scenes and I need a monologue. Is it all right if I use this one?
Submitted by AnonWriter on Thu, 11/29/2012 - 11:04
I don't mind anyone using it. Just don't steal it please :)
Submitted by kailyngrace95 on Sun, 02/10/2013 - 08:57
Hey Jenora is it ok if I do this for my up coming talent show? I can already picture what i'd be doing on stange with it :)
Submitted by Joseph Sarrao (not verified) on Mon, 02/11/2013 - 10:22
I would like to use this speech for my school speech contest. I plan to dress up as a female nurse because I am a boy. I think is funny and I think that dressing up as a nurse will make it even more funny.
Submitted by Amy (not verified) on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 11:07
Hey I love this monologue. It is so funny. Can I use it for an audition for theatre productions?
Submitted by MariposaNudrath on Tue, 02/26/2013 - 20:50
Hiya I really liked this monologue. I was wondering if I could use it for my drama class.
Submitted by Ruben (not verified) on Tue, 08/06/2013 - 08:29
May I use this for a youtube episode?
Submitted by AnonWriter on Tue, 08/06/2013 - 15:36
Sure, y not? :)
Submitted by paige (not verified) on Wed, 09/18/2013 - 11:14
omg I love this using this for my monologue audition in musical theater!!!!!!!! ;)
Submitted by lnguyen6 on Sat, 11/09/2013 - 11:46
Hey Jenora! I really like this script, is it okay if I use it for my Monologue?
Submitted by Chelsea (not verified) on Mon, 11/25/2013 - 14:22
I love the twist at the end! Genius! I want to use this for my schools speech competition.
Submitted by Drama Queen (not verified) on Mon, 01/13/2014 - 12:06
I love this so funny can I use this for a addition? I may edit the ending a little but I love it! Can I use it please?
Submitted by Cymone Newton (not verified) on Wed, 06/04/2014 - 02:30
This is hilarious!
Submitted by Nate (not verified) on Tue, 06/30/2015 - 18:55
I just have to say that your the only person on here that makes hilarious monologues! I swear on everything that you think just like me. I was just going over this monologue to prepare for an audition tomorrow and I used improv to help me memorize the lines. Not knowing that in the next line were the same words I used in my improvisation for the lines to come! lol how ironic; you are the perfect writer for my monologues, no joke! lol
Submitted by savanahbrinkley on Thu, 09/17/2015 - 00:47
So I performed this and everyone in my Forensics class loved it. And your name is mentioned in my intro. Now I'm taking it to my first forensics tournament! Thank you for this amazing piece.
Submitted by anjaliagwr_9922 on Wed, 11/22/2017 - 10:00
This is so funny. Can I use this for my audition?

Unknown Comedy Monologues - Selfish Operator