Occurring World

Occurring World

(3m)   by ballekumar
 

Comedy Monologues   (27150 Views 0 Comments)

Occurring World

For a white guy a zebra is a white animal with black stripes. For a black guy a zebra is a black animal with white stripes. For a chinese a zebra is more difficult to cook than a chicken. For an Arab a zebra doesn't exist because he is not mentioned in the holy book. For a Mexican a zebra is a white animal which used to roam around a lot of construction sites and cement fell on him. For an Indian what a zebra is completely depends upon the ethnicity of his boss. For a Pakistani a zebra is an animal which as is not found in Pakistan can be used for bombing and the attack would not be traced back to them.

Syphilis vs  Sleepless

The difference between SYPHILIS and SLEEPLESS is quite obvious in the way they are spelled and pronounced by a non stutterer. Besides the way they are used in the first person narrative mode illustrates the difference further like "I AM sleepless" vs. "I HAVE syphilis". One is the state of being something and the other is having something. However the vital difference between them is that if you make someone sleepless then you can be happy about it and sleep well but if you give someone syphilis then you might become sleepless.

Jumbo Patel writes to MIT

Please take me in the college as I want to fly high in life. I can only fly high in life by admonition of your college. My marks are super good and my behavior is jolly good. My father is a man of great repetition and all people say hi,hello and namaste (indian hi hello) to him. He is of the position in the income tax commissioners for the cities of Mumbai (earlier Bombay). I roamed on ur website and found that you are wanting to outsource your college to Mumbai and so mine father can be your beast friend. I got a little less marks than the minimum required in the exams. But by Holy Cow!! Can you judge anything by examination? Tell me how many medical examinations revels the truth. Yet I send you my marks attacked to this letters and hope you would turn a blind eyes to them and see my spirit in this letter. Anyways, I want to be a computer graduate in ur school. I love computer from day my teacher said "a typewriters typing power and a calculator's calculating power when mated it makes the superpower called computer". I thought wow, i love power and if I master this superpower than i become omnipower. So I took interest in computer. Now I had twice choices either to be going in to hardwear or softwear. I thought hardwear is not much changing , I mean fatter the computer it is desktop and thinner the computer it is laptop. That seemed to be mega boring  to me. So i chose softwear and i choose the topic of artifecal intellingence. I thought what iff computers wud think? He(pardon I am referring as he) would do all work by himself and us humans do anything not at all. Imagine computer telling homeworks , helping love matters, listening to a wifes nagging and comforting her. The applications of the artifecalness is too much to wonder for all us by now. I started learning languages that computer understands and got better at it day by day, soon I was able to add, multiply and write big essays using Microsoft languages like MS Word and MS Excel. Then I learned Powerpointing language ohh boy so much colorful way of learning. My teacher said that now I am the bruce Lee and jackie Chan of soft wear. That made me gayful and gladdening in exasperance. So I thought why don’t I not to apply to MIT ? MIT is the bestest school on earth and people say that they only take aliens. I said now they will take an earth man. MIT should be watching out for people like me and I am the person looking to be in admission of MIT. I have said enough and if u don’t take me and then your president complains about the reclining education standards of your country then don’t complain. Take me and see the difference I bake.

 

Yours Positively

Jumbo Patel

(Everything is so Jumbo about me)

Mumbai, India

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3m Comedy Monologues - Occurring World