I Suppose a Sock's Out of The Question?

I Suppose a Sock's Out of The Question?

(2.5m)   by rmarguerie

Comedy Monologues   (29058 Views 0 Comments)

I don't know what indicators politicians use to determine if a recession is coming to an end but judging by the amount of men not wearing socks in London I'd wager that we are still very much in it's vice like grip. When I was younger if you saw a man in a suit not wearing socks you'd direct to the nearest soup kitchen, not let them show you around a house you're interested in buying. They obviously aren't very good at selling houses if they can't afford socks.

I geddit, it's fashion yeah? But my interpretation of fashion is that it's more about wearing stuff as opposed to not wearing stuff. If not having something is now fashionable, then being broke and having a very low sperm count should be an absolute shoe in for wedding proposals.

" How did your date go?

" Not bad , but I won't be seeing him again? "

" Why not? "

" He's got all his own teeth"

I always find it interesting that Sarah Palin genuinely believes that humans and dinosaurs once co-existed. Does she think they cross bred and went on dates together?

" Well he's got his own teeth, but he'll rip out your spine and use your skin as a duvet"

"Sounds like my ex-husband"

The title of this piece is a play on words concerning a line ("I suppose a rock is out of the question?") in the Deff Leppard song "Let's Get Rocked". Back in 1994/1995 I was at university in Yorkshire, in a student nightclub, when Deff Leppard came on. On the sound system, not on stage. Despite the "Lepp" originating from a city a stones throw away they were still too marquee an act in the mid 90's to be playing at a student nightclub that shared floor space with a firm of carpet fitters. Mid way through the song my best mate Glyn, I'd only known him 2 weeks but in university terms that's practically child hood friends, turned to me and said

" You know the drummer in Deff Leppard only has one arm and he uses a peddle"

I then launched into the most prolonged spate of laughing I'd ever experienced in my entire life. At first Glyn joined in, more out of humouring me than anything else, but as it went on I think he started to become increasingly concerned about my welfare.

Rather than build up the " What's" , he just grabbed me and shouted " What?"

" Well it's funny isn't it ? " I said, calming down a little

" Is it ? "

" Well yeah , he's obviously struggling so he wants a rock"

" How do you mean?" "

" Well the song is basically the drummer asking if it's not too much trouble could he have a rock"

" Ok, so?"

" Well if I was using a pebble to play the drums I'd want something bigger"

I died a little when I found out the truth.

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2.5m Comedy Monologues - I Suppose a Sock's Out of The Question?