I am a Loser Because of Facebook

I am a Loser Because of Facebook

(1m)   by coolerfooler

Comedy Monologues   (24043 Views 1 Comments)

Facebook.com, something us gen-zers would consider a relic compared to the plethora of social media apps around today.... something we left behind saying, hey mom, hey grandpa, this is your problem now, have fun.

But since turning 19 I have been looking back at the 2014, 15s , even feeling nostalgic,a it was in this period I realised that Facebook wasn't just a past time anymore, but now apart of our culture. When you look at it Facebook was sooo perfect, all those unrelatable minion memes and the bottomless pool of handsome and charming Indian males looking for love with names almost unpronounceable by english speakers MUAH!...

It's mechanical creator, Mark Zuckerborg couldn't make it any better.

Facebook inspired so much growth and change, like, depression rates couldn't be any higher, the rope and razor blade industry was booming, there was even this fun trend going around where girls were drawing lines on their forearms...so trendy.

But the most important thing of all that Facebook really affected was the high school social hierarchy, and, and this is where things kinda get fucked for me because going into the seventh grade I was firm on the belief that if I was good looking, could sing and play basketball I would be popular, based on watching the high school musical movies 6 times respectively 

And God I wasted  so much time going to vocal classes and basketball practice at the community center and years later I still feel like an idiot for telling the guys to call me Troy, but thank God there was that mercury leak in community centre's water supply a year after I I stopped training ..... because oh fuck, I don't know what I would do if people still called me Troy, oh I loathed it.

So now, popularity was based on Facebook likes, if you got a hundred likes on a pic,  you were mildly popular,  500, you were popular, a 1000 or more likes, hey, why not get your own fucking star on Hollywood boulevard? *roll eyes*.

But in my pursuit of popularity, I soon realised that it's not that easy to get likes.......simply tagging a hundred persons in your pic doesn't guarantee that a hundred persons will like your pic, hell, in my case, doesn't guarantee two....

But this was everything to me, I don't care about going to school and becoming a plumber or a "doctor" or whatever, I just wanted to peak in highschool.......

anda this time, I had no idea that I had to put effort by taking pics other that selfies after a shower..... but...... being a firm believer in earning what you deserve with hard work.......

I searched tirelessly for a Facebook autolike bot and after clearing hundreds of popup ads and not succuming to the messages of many single moms in my area, sadly I couldn't find an autolike bot that worked.

So fast fast forward  five years later and I've never achieved my dream of being popular..

At 19 years I'm barreling in the pits of the social ladder, hoping that one day i'll achieve this, so at this point in time, im trying my hand  at the fastest growing social media app of 2020, 




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Submitted by mrdonpls_14303 on Sat, 08/28/2021 - 09:56

1 Person 1m Comedy Monologues - I am a Loser Because of Facebook