I am

I am

(6m)   by jeromassive

Comedy Monologues   (31928 Views 1 Comments)

Me and my roaches are closer than close. Were more than just roomates, were brothers. Weve seen the hardest of hardest days and relaxed through the easiest breaziest days.
We shared memories that will never leave my heart. through all the aches and pains we stick together like glue.
Although they play around too damn much,theyre still family! And family sticks together,they have unconditional love for a nobody like me....
"you know for someone who cant survive a little radiation,your alright" ,thats Raymond,my roach and best friend.
Without him i wouldnt be the man i am today. He fathered me to be honest. Since i was a boy he's been by my side and watched me grow up. He taught me to be greatful for everything I have,like he does. He doesnt care who's crums they are....if theyre crunchable theyre munchable damn it!
Raymond is worse than a homeless person,even a homeless person has boundaries. Ray Ray...thats what i call him,he doesnt give care one bit. He'll eat the leftover of a leftover if he has to! thug till the end,tell a friend.
Raymond always messed with me when i brought a girl over to my place. He ran up behind her on the wall.... playing around right behind her just crawling on the wall trying to get her attention to embarrass me!
She was wondering why i kept whispering at the wall behind her... "Pssss Pssss Go GO GO!!!....She's gonna see you dawg"
and if i were talking to the wall it's because its the same thing as talking to her!
she needs to mind her own bussiness,thats what she needs to do. She didnt even notice Raymond mocking her,not too bright.
At the end of the day it was all fun and games and my roaches were my main squeze.

Get to know your roaches cause nobody understands you more than your roaches. They see your point of view because they share the same one just from a lower view, they live where you do! they share the same phone too! thats why you get charged with those long distance call that you didnt even make!
I live in the hood so were both broke,when times are hard for me...theyre hard for us.
Roaches see what you see,live where you live and eat what you eat.
......Specially the last one! Struggle brings people together and to be honest its too hard out here for me to hate my roaches,we need to stick together!
Struggle makes one ambitious,and Raymond was no exception. The thing was,Raymond's Pursuit of Happiness was never a pursuit at all.
He lived in happiness, chasing happiness is like running after nothing while blind. You wont find anything,if your pursuing you need to put the brakes on that cause happiness is not to be chased,it chases you.
Your running after happiness and happiness is behind you trying to catch up to your !
Raymond knew better,he had a strong mind. He was himslef within and nobody else. Just him.
With Raymond by my side i was unstoppable. I was a nobody with a somebody whos like nobody...like me. we were just us and did our own style wether it was in or not. best friends we were and nothing less Life was great until the night they took my best friend.

Raymond was with me just chillin' sippin on a 40 while smoking a joint. We were having a good time!
oooohweeee that sticky icky was strong! "They should have just tatted my weed up like Tyson cause it packed a punch! " said Raymond. I packed a bowl not a punch,your knocking out son!
we had a great time together!
Raymond loved his weed but it took his life..... as he enjoyed yet another fine doobie some guy walked up to us and yelled at me, he said "marijuana is bad and alcohol makes you stupid" then picked his foot up high and held it over Raymond .......

id love to continue telling the end although its quite obvious,its just too soon to talk about it.
i told myself i wouldnt cry....get a grip pimp
What can i say,Raymond was my heart and now he's gone.
His life was taken because we were smoking and drinking...... near a murderer! Pastor Chuck!! Im bad for smoking and drinking but that murderer walks around claiming to be a pastor....RIDICULOUS!
If i go to hell I better see him there answering to Satan!

Raymond was more than a roach,he was a brother.
He shared his wisdom, experiences and advice with me.
His love was unconditional .He knew deep down i was a nobody,i cant even survive mass destruction like they can.... but to them I wasnt just a nobody i was their nobody. I saw it in Raymond as well, I saw somebody in a roach.Somebody who is a nobody to the world and the greatest somebody to me.
You just never know where youll find the greatest inspirations in the world and that came from my best friend.
He drinks and smokes but my pastor kills.
My best friend is a nobody to the world but a somebody to me....... Im a nobody. Nobody's are the biggest somebody's because everyone is someone....im noone,im Jeromassive.

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Submitted by drless (not verified) on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 10:59
Cool material!

6m Comedy Monologues - I am