Fat Man With A Sense of Humor

Fat Man With A Sense of Humor

(5m)   by ballekumar
 

Comedy Monologues   (36411 Views 2 Comments)

Yes, I am a fat man with a good sense of humor. You would have seen me being extra helpful and cracking jokes in the gym and doing nothing else there. You would seen me allowing other people to get in to the line at check out counters so that they listen to my jokes.You would have seen me near the extra large size section of clothes in the mall. Yes I know you would deny this saying that you have never gone to that section. But you would have definitely seen me trying to entertain kids of single mothers. Now I don't love kids but the single mothers dote on their kids and don't mind sharing a little of their love with the person whom their kid likes. I wish all women were born as single mothers!! I am never found in clubs and always in Food Marts as the chance of finding a single mother with kids is more in a mart than a club. Though I am fat by today's standard but do you know that just till 20th century being overweight was the most happening thing. Look at the black and white photos and you will see all are well fed and healthy. You would have heard comments from your grandmother like"Poor Timmy Uncle was so thin, we were afraid he would not live long". The same Timmy would have a hot granddaughter today with the right size who would be acting in some commercials promoting some healthy product which would prolong your life. Now if you don't find me funny then please understand that I am not funny by birth but I became funny. I distinctly remember that I was about 8 years old and was eating a huge or rather gigantic banana split and cracked some cream-over-banana kind of joke and a girl burst out laughing. Looking back I think she laughed at sight of me eating the sundae rather than the joke. Most people are more in to slapstick comedy any way, because that it the only thing they can understand. From that incident I understood that if I am funny I can have both the gigantic sundae and the girl. So from that time I just started watching comedies and funny sitcoms and I think about 5000 hours of these can make even a paraplegic funny. While watching TV I happened to dunk in to oceans of sodas, mountains of chips and god knows how much other junk food. Before I could realize anything I could only see my feet in the mirror.Looking down from my neck all I see is some undiscovered planet of the solar system. I began to lose my remote if I sat on the sofa and the remote would smell stinky later. I was a little sad about the condition in which I was but one day an opportunity came my way and I made the most of it. A company trying to produce energy from renewable resources got inspired by a Sci-Fi film and decided to use humans as a source of energy. Instead of connecting the pods to the brain they found that inserting it in some other place gives a better shot at what they are trying to achieve.They approached me to produce electricity from my farts, I was their first human  subject it seems. Of Course! I said yes!! When the tests were successful one me I told them I know a lot of people who are like me and I can get them to you and all I want to be is a business partner. And Ladies now  I am a millionaire too and I work from home. If you want to stay with me please just for your own sake leave me alone while I am working and we will have a great life!

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Submitted by sarah collins (not verified) on Sat, 09/12/2015 - 18:05
I can't believe you remember the whole entire thing oh and P.S. "WOW"
Submitted by sarah collins (not verified) on Sat, 09/12/2015 - 18:06
I can't believe you remember the whole entire thing oh and P.S. "WOW"

5m Comedy Monologues - Fat Man With A Sense of Humor