Any campers here? I hate camping...
I like the fresh air idea.
But the problem with camping is leaving the comforts of home.
Soft beds, heated rooms and flush toilets.
Now a days you don't need to leave all that behind.
You can pack them with you.
They're called RV's
Bus sized rolling homes.
Problem with RV's is they're so big you can't get into campsites
So you end up enjoying the great outdoors of Wal-Mart's parking lot.
The rest of us 'real campers' will pass on big box store camping.
And grab our tents to head out in the bush
I don't miss the comforts so much, but I hate being dirty
And the bugs...
When you arrive the bugs are all rubbing they're little tentacle hands
Waiting for you to get out of the car.
Their short little lives have been leading up to this.
Having trained on a bunch of tuff skinned wild animals.
There eager to dig into some choice pieces of tenderloin.
Campsite bugs are different than city bugs.
Unlike city mosquitoes and their syringe needle pokers
These deep woods bugs are carnivores.
Horse flies, Black flies, with teeth that bite chunks out of you.
Cuz they don't want blood they want steak.
As you all get out of the car, they see an all you can eat buffet.
But we're not so stupid
We came prepared.No bug's gonna stop us.
We want some of this great outdoors too ya know!
So the first thing we do when we arrive?
Cover ourselves with liquid poison.
Oh, and a layer of chemical sunscreen to complete our human biohazard cocktail.
Cooking in the dirt is always a treat too.
With the bugs no longer interested in us, they start flying over that food we're cooking.
They can't resist getting closer...and that's when it happens...