(5m)   by tompd

Comedy Monologues   (62494 Views 0 Comments)

I have a bit of an issue, that I'm an impulse buyer.
If I see something I like I'll buy it.
It's alright sometimes for a new game or something, but when it comes to booking your wife into breast implant surgery or spending your life savings on a pinball machine it becomes a bit of an issue.
I blame the products that are out there on the market, and advertising.
I wouldn't consider myself a gullible man, but if there were no adverts, I wouldn't be tricked into thinking that everything is absolutely amazing.
I saw a great advert the other day, you know the cadbury's Phill Collins gorilla, I saw that and I absolutely loved it.
Whenever I saw it I played along, and you know what I craved as I did! A drum kit! And you know what I found out.
That a dairy milk is $1 and a drum kit is around $700... The bastards.
But there are some adverts that confuse me.
Take the Carlsberg adverts.
If Carlsberg did nights out, if Carlsberg did weddings, if Carlsberg stopped this and looked a bit closer to home, they might release their lager tastes disgusting!
Try putting some money into that first before branching out.
If Carlsberg did girlfriends they would be the best in the world.
If Carlsberg did girlfriends they'd taste horrible.
There are somethings though that I would never consider getting.
Have you ever heard of a vajazzle.
Imagine that being put forward on Shark Tank!
Barbara corcoran 'tell me more'. Eventually Daymond john 'im in'.
I don't see the point in these things anyway!
If you want to see a fanny with Jewlery, just look at 50 cent!

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5m Comedy Monologues - Advertising