the origins of cider song

the origins of cider song

(1.5m)   by gritt brewer

Comedy Skits   (6999 Views 0 Comments)

                        THE ORIGINS OF CIDER SONG


The serpent in the garden called out to Eve one day

You've got to try these apples girl they'll blow your mind away

Eve replied I'm not allowed, God said they were taboo

And anyway I'm sick of fruit, need something to chew

Show me a tree with Rib Eye steaks or a chicken nugget shrub

And Adam feels the same as me, we want some proper grub


The serpent fled from Eden, his tail between his legs

His boss Old Nick was furious, called him the dregs

Gods nudists are carnivores , there's nothing I can do

They say Granny Smiths are the pits, they just want barbecue

Evil Nick never missed a trick, told his snake to listen well

Apples when compared to meat is not always a hard sell

Just squeeze those little fuckers dry, and let the juice ferment

They'll lap it up like puppies and be forever content


Soon God gazed upon his garden, the apple tree was bare

Eve was puking on it, and Adam did not care

Shame on you my children, you desecrate the tree

As sinners you'll be punished, banished for eternity

Adam laughed, drank some more, fell off his rocking chair

Said Eves so drunk and paranoid, thinks I'm having an affair

Keep telling her she's crazy for we are all that exists

And I'd never shag a serpent, even if I was proper pissed

So listen God and listen good, mister high and mighty man

Loosen up and have a drink, I'll toss you up a can


Turned out God was an Alco, he couldn't get enough

He said this shit is a me send, the most precious stuff

You've lost your inhibitions, shame you do not feel

which is good for the future, incest won't be a big deal

Thanks to the power of cider, no one gives a dam

If they're in bed or even wed to their brother or their mam

Never heed the folk who say it is an evil brew

For if we did'nt have it there would be no me or you




Comedy Type: Humor Type: Comedy Scene:
2 Person
Script Length: Post date: Script Market:
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Author's Message

if we are descended from people who could not forego fruit to maintain an idyllic existence i think thats hard to believe. however if adam and eve were monkeys that might be more believable

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2 Person 1.5m Comedy Skits - the origins of cider song