Stealth Car

Stealth Car

(2m)   by gritt brewer
 

Comedy Skits   (3615 Views 0 Comments)

                     DRIVE THRU WINDOW AT WELL KNOWN INTERNATIONAL FAST FOOD OUTLET

 

CUSTOMER: Can I have a quarter pounder and fries please?

ASSISTANT: Of course sir, but not here. I'm afraid this is for drive thru customers only.

CUSTOMER: No one will know. I won't say a thing.

ASSISTANT: Its company policy. There is nothing I can do.

CUSTOMER: Please, is there any way you can serve me here?

ASSISTANT: Absolutely. You just need a car.

CUSTOMER: My car is just around the corner, It ran out of petrol.

ASSISTANT: I'm sure it did sir, but a drive thru means you have to drive thru.

CUSTOMER: If I push it thru, will you serve me then?

ASSISTANT: Why would you do that when you can just go in the restaurant and get served?

CUSTOMER: I have severe claustrophobia so that's not possible.

ASSISTANT: You drive a car. Hows that possible if you cant be in confined spaces?

CUSTOMER: It's a convertible.

ASSISTANT: Look sir it's a drive thru. If it was a walk thru I would happily serve you, but it's not so I can't.

CUSTOMER: I'm appealing to you. If I go to the bother and effort to get my car and push it thru, will you please serve me?

ASSISTANT: Technically pushing is far removed from driving, but what the hell.

 

    CUSTOMER LEAVES AND RETURNS TWO MINUTES LATER WALKING SLOWLY IN A CROUCHED MANNER WITH HIS TWO ARMS IN FRONT OF HIM

CUSTOMER: Okay I'm back. How much do I owe you?

ASSISTANT: Not wanting to be in any way difficult, but where is your petrol lacking car?

CUSTOMER: Its right here in front of you. You just saw me pushing it.

ASSISTANT: I saw you miming pushing something. Think I'll mime getting you some food.

CUSTOMER: I get this the whole time. Its a stealth car.

ASSISTANT: Go away and stop wasting my time

CUSTOMER: You are discriminating against me because I do not have a run of the mill car.

ASSISTANT: Don't play the victim game with me. I am refusing you because you came to a drive thru with a imaginary invisible car to make a fool of yourself. 

CUSTOMER: I'm not lying

ASSISTANT: Okay I believe you. I have always believed you. When you went to fetch your stealthmobile, I prepared for you a stealth quarter pounder. stealth fries with some stealth cola all on the house. With your stealth vision you should not have a problem locating where I left this culinary treat.

CUSTOMER: You are being most unhelpful. I think you are one of life's ultra sceptics.

 

A CAR HORN CAN BE HEARD APPROACHING GRADUALLY GETTING LOUDER. THE CUSTOMER LOOKS RIGHT AND HIS FACE BECOMES A PICTURE OF FEAR. A VOICE CAN NOW BE HEARD SHOUTING NO BRAKES, NO BRAKES. THE CUSTOMER IS FLATTENED BY ANOTHER MAN IN A SITTING POSITION FLYING THRU THE AIR EIGHTEEN INCHES OF THE GROUND

ASSISTANT: Wow. I did not see that coming.If he's still alive his food is on me..

 

 

 

Comedy Type: Humor Type: Comedy Scene:
2 Person
Script Length: Post date: Script Market:
Public
Permission for use:
Permission not required

Author's Message

not sure if stealth cars actually exist. stealth planes are in existence since the seventies invented by wonder woman who was along with marie curie was the greatest female scientist of all time

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2 Person 2m Comedy Skits - Stealth Car