Revolutionaries

Revolutionaries

(2.5m)   by domwire
 

Comedy Skits   (12283 Views 0 Comments)

REVOLUTIONARIES

BY DOMINIC HOARTY 03.10.08

F/X ? CRACKLING FIRE

ERNESTO˜(Spanish Accent) Listen brothers and sisters we now know where we stand. We are at the point of no return, here we are holed out in the heart of the Andes with only God and the sacred Condor as our guide.

MARIA˜Ernesto we are aware of our situation.

ERNESTO˜I know Maria, but myself, you and Pedro need to decide where our destiny is going to take us.

PEDRO˜I love you both as if you were my blood and we should see this through to the end.

MARIA˜El Presidente has to die, we must do our utmost with the help of God to spill his blood as he has spilt the blood of many of our sisters and brothers.

ERNESTO˜That is why we need to make the pact of our ancestors tonight to ensure we have the strength to carry out this act of god.

PEDRO˜Pact?

ERNESTO˜The Brothers and Sisters in Blood pact

MARIA˜We must Ernesto you?re right

PEDRO˜Blood?

ERNESTO˜Yes Pedro we must spill blood together

PEDRO˜(agitated) What tonight?

ERNESTO˜(irritated) Yes tonight Pedro, we must bind in blood and with this sacred mountain in the hope it will give us the strength to kill that bastard Chivas.

PEDRO˜Ok, but what?s involved? What?s all this spilling our own blood about? Can we not just agree to bump him off?

MARIA˜Pedro we take our knives, we each cut our right palm, the hands that we will kill him with, and we bind our blood together.

ERNESTO˜Pass me my knife Maria

PEDRO˜Well I?m not doing it, I?m squeamish, plus I?m a rare blood group seems ridiculous to waste it.

MARIA˜JUST GET YOUR KNIFE PEDRO OR I?LL CUT YOU MYSELF

PEDRO˜Ooh hark at her I?m not spilling AB Rhesus Negative for no good reason, and stop being a bloody bully

ERNESTO˜For the sake of the Holy Andes Pedro you can just spit on your hand if you want, though God pray for your soul.

PEDRO˜Spit? Oh don?t be disgusting. Is this the Brotherhood and Sisterhood of The Condor or The Hepatitis Club? We?ll all be dead before the President if you carry on with this disease-ridden malarkey.

MARIA˜MARY HAVE MERCY! ARE YOU WITH US OR NOT PEDRO? SO HELP ME I?LL SPILL YOUR BLOOD MYSELF

PEDRO˜What?s wrong with a brisk handshake? You two not heard of MRSA

ERNESTO˜MRSA? Is that a band of revolutionary brothers

PEDRO˜Come on let?s just all have a cuddle

MARIA˜SO HELP ME ERNESTO I?LL KILL HIM

PEDRO˜Come on group hug, group hug everyone, come here you two

29 F/X ? GUN SHOT

ERNESTO˜Miguel!!

PEDRO˜(moaning) Oh my precious AB Negative

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2.5m Comedy Skits - Revolutionaries