Firing Squad

Firing Squad

(4m)   by bkuniverse

Comedy Skits   (31815 Views 12 Comments)

Prisoner: I can see you all, this blindfold is transparent!

Head of Firing Squad: Get him another blindfold!

(A new blindfold is tied)

Head Of Firing Squad: Is it OK now!

Prisoner: If I like bend my head back then I can see you throw the slit. They have to make it tight!

(The blindfold is made tight)

Head of Firing Squad: Is it OK now!

Prisoner: It's too tight around my eyes, I can't breathe! Can you remove it?

(The blindfold is removed)

Head of Firing Squad: Is it OK now!

Prisoner: The sun is shining on my eyes. I can't see anyone! Can I get a cap? Gosh! you should shoot people at night, its easy for them and you!

(A cap is given to the prisoner)

Prisoner: Well , now I can see you all. Good Morning! Those two soldiers have not tied their shoelace.

Head of Firing Squad: Soldiers , we need discipline. Make sure your uniforms are proper. Tie your lace!

Prisoner: Now everything looks good. But I am feeling nervous seeing all these people pointing their guns at me!

Head of Firing Squad: Do you want to be blindfolded?

Prisoner: No , I think I will face the wall. Then I think I don't need this cap. But then people will think that I was peeing against the wall and someone shot me! Its OK, I guess!

(The prisoner turns to the wall)

Head of Firing Squad: OK! We are ready!

Prisoner: But then people will think I am a coward! I think I will face sideways and try not to look towards the soldiers!

(The prisoners stands sideways)

Head of Firing Squad: As you wish!

Soldiers: He is standing between our guns, we will miss him if we shoot!

Head of Firing Squad: Move closer!

Soldiers: We don't want to touch each other! Thats gross!

Head of Firing Squad: Can you move a little to the left? That way we can hit you for sure!

Prisoners: Your left or mine!

Head of Firing Squad: My left, you're right!

Prisoner: How much?

Head of Firing Squad: Just one step more towards the right and you are all set!

Prisoner(moves one step right): Is this good?

Head of Firing Squad: This is just perfect. Thanks a lot for your cooperation. This is our first execution and we are trying to make it right.

Prisoner: This is the first time that I am also getting executed. Make sure everything looks good. I wish I could see it!

Head of Firing Squad: We are going to record it but you won't be around to see it. Sad!

Prisoner: Yes, that is so sad. Imagine I can't see how I got executed! I could have given some tips to you if I would have been alive after execution!

Head of Firing Squad: How kind of you Sir? Any last desire!

Prisoner: I also want to be a part of your firing squad!

Head of Firing Squad: You are! You are the first person this squad is going to execute! You will always be a part of our lives. We will never forget you!

Prisoner: But you all won't be a part of my life, as I will be dead! Is that fair?

Soldiers: Not fair! Not fair!

Prisoner: Then!

Soldiers: Release him! Release him!

Head of Firing Squad: Boys! You know I can do anything that you ask for! But someone has to die today or else we will be questioned!

One soldier: We can find someone else! Why should this chap die? Anyway what did he do?

Head of Firing Squad: He shot his neighbour!

Prisoner: He was playing loud music!

One soldier: Yes , sometimes it happens. The real problem is the gun law! We should not allow citizens to carry weapons!

Prisoner: Even I said so, you allow me to have a gun and when I use it for the reasons I consider valid, you punish me! That doesn't work!

Soldiers: Release him!

Head of Firing Squad: OK! One of you find someone quickly! Tell the prisoners that there is pizza in the firing squad area and whoever comes in first , we will shoot him!

One soldier: Sounds like a good plan!

Head of Firing Squad: OK! You are free. You can join our firing squad! Now you can shoot anyone you want and government will pay you for it!

Prisoner: Thank you Sir! You know I see graffiti on the wall, something is written against you all .. let me tell you ..

Comedy Type: Script Length: Post date: Script Market:

Copyright Statement



Submitted by LUKE (not verified) on Wed, 11/06/2013 - 06:08
Hey, can I use some of this script for a video I am making.
Submitted by bkuniverse on Wed, 11/06/2013 - 06:34
@LUKE, you can use any of my scripts for anything
Submitted by UROOJ (not verified) on Wed, 11/27/2013 - 03:40
I dont understand the ending :/
Submitted by bkuniverse on Wed, 11/27/2013 - 13:17
@UROOJ Nor do I.
Submitted by Jimmy (not verified) on Mon, 12/02/2013 - 14:24
I really like your script I wanted to know if I could use it for my speech class.
Submitted by bkuniverse on Mon, 12/02/2013 - 16:46
@Jimmy Please feel free to use any of my scripts.
Submitted by vani (not verified) on Tue, 12/10/2013 - 04:00
can some1 elaborate the ending??
Submitted by Brooke (not verified) on Wed, 02/05/2014 - 10:13
May I use this script for a group scene in my theatre class?
Submitted by Anyonomus (not verified) on Wed, 05/14/2014 - 04:59
Submitted by Steven (not verified) on Wed, 05/14/2014 - 05:06
First person to tweet!
Submitted by sarge134 on Thu, 03/24/2016 - 05:48
I would like to use this for a video I am working on.
Submitted by jgrind593 on Tue, 09/27/2016 - 04:50
may i use this speech

4m Comedy Skits - Firing Squad