Factoids

Factoids

(Unknown)   by Skit
 

Comedy Skits   (14817 Views 0 Comments)

FACTOIDS by C.Jones

[jingle]

SW: This is Steve Wright on The Big Show talking about The Bilderberg Group. "Early in its history, Bilderbergers decided "to create an ‘Aristocracy of purpose’ between Europe and the United States (to reach consensus to rule the world on matters of) policy, economics, and (overall) strategy." Tim Smith!

TS: "NATO was essential for their plans – to ensure "perpetual war (and) nuclear blackmail" to be used as necessary. They then proceeded to loot the planet, achieve fabulous wealth and power, and crush all challengers to keep it." So a sort of private club of the powerful and wealthy, then, Steve."

SW: Yeah, not just the wealthy, though,Tim. The Super Rich.

TS: Oh yeah, absolutely. The rulers of the world.

SW: .. and no-one knew this was going on?

TS: .. most people still don’t and does it matter? I mean, most of us just want to get on with our lives don’t we?

SW: .. ha ha. Yes. You know what it reminds me of though Tim?

TS: You’re going to say The Truman Show aren’t you?

SW: .. ha ha. Yes. A Truman Show type thing-a-ma-jig.

TS: .. in that scenario, then, we would be part of the illusion, faking news reports, saying what our paymasters told us to, mind control and so on.

SW: .. ha ha. Yes. A Truman Show type scenario.

TS: .. scenario, yes. Sounds familiar. Like a word I might have just used.

SW: .. ha ha. Yes. Now here’s Jamie Lee Grace with FACTOIDS [jingle].

JLG: Did you know that the average human brain receives 1300 messages a second and selects only three?

SW: Wow. Tim Smith.

TS: Did you know that the average human brain receives 1300 messages a second and selects only three?

SW: Wow. Jamie Lee Grace.

JLG: You’ll like this one Steve. You like equations don’t you?

SW: .. ha ha. Yes. Wotcher got?

JLG: Well, apparently experts believe that in order to have billionaires you also need to have dying children.

TS: Yeah, I heard that. I mean there are Trillionaires and even Quadrillionaires aren’t there?

SW: So I guess that means alot of dying kids.

TS: Oh yeah sure. Alot of dying kids and babies too I would imagine.

SW: How much money would you need to have to be a Quadrillionaire then Tim?

TS: I dunno, Steve, alot I would guess.

SW: .. ha ha. Yes. Good answer, mate.

JLG: So to have Quintillionaires, you would need what? A million dead babies?

SW: How much does the Queen make?

TS: Well, technically she owns Australia ...

JLG: .. and Britain and Canada ..

SW: So, we sort of rent off her do we?

TS: Sure, but she’s not gonna evict us though is she?

SW: Like a Big Brother type scenario?

TS: No I was thinking more like a landlady.

SW: Imagine if Queen Elizabeth was the landlady of the Queen Vic.

TS: .. ha ha. Yes. I see what you did there.

SW: You see what I did there?

JLG: [montonal drone]Transpositional cipher.

[pause]

SW: You’re listening to The Big Show and right now we’re talking about ..

JLG: [monotonal drone]Transpositional cipher [slows down like a tape].

SW: .. The Bilderberg ... the bilderberrrr [speeds up like a tape].

TS: The Build-a Bear group. Where they program stuffed toys to ... [jingle].

 

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Unknown Comedy Skits - Factoids