Priest: Why did you abduct me?
Alien: We want to know more about humans.
Priest: But why me?
Alien: We saw you talking to a group of people and all of them were listening to you. We don't see them listening to anyone else like that ..
Priest: Yes I am priest. I was giving a sermon ..
Alien: Whatever!! Now tell us the funny story about how you people came in the existence.You were telling that ..
Priest: God created Adam a man and then Eve a woman and then he told the woman not to eat the apple. And if you tell the female species of a planet to not do something then they exactly do that. So she ate the apple and then they committed the sin of having sex and thus we all were born..
Alien: Interesting .. Who is God?
Priest: He is all powerful being. He watches everything ..
Alien: Ok, so got it, God is nothing but a pre historic Superhero.So what is so important to you humans?
Priest: Looking pretty
Alien: But most of you are overweight and ugly.
Priest:Yes in quest of looking good we end up being that way.Now can I go ..
Alien: Hell No. So look we want to capture the planet? We need you to help us?
Priest: I won't
Alien: OK. We will make all Christians.
Priest: OK. I will, tell me what should I do?
Alien: You be our spokesman. You can go and announce to them that we will destroy everything if you don't listen to us ..
Priest: I do that every day , I tell them listen to God or he will destroy everything ..
ALien: So ..
Priest: They don't care ..
So what should we do?
Priest: Buy Earth
Priest: See you have weapons , you sell one weapon to a country and then a better one to it's neighbor. Then you sell an even better to the earlier nation and then better than that to its neighbor. So on you can get money from all the nations of the world. Then with that money you can buy land from every person ..
Alien: You are a genius. No wonder people listen to you.
Priest: ut why do you want to rule us?
Alien: We don't want to rule you. Silly!!
Alien: We will keep you as pets.
Priest: As pets!!
Alien: If you can keep dogs and pets on what moral grounds can you deny us the same privilege?
Priest: But there is a difference between humans and animals.
Priest: First humans have soul and animals don't and humans are much more intelligent than animals.
From our point of view the difference between the intelligence of humans and animals , if any is minimal. We don't believe in existence of soul ..
Priest: Neither did I believe in existence of aliens till now. But humans and animals have equal intelligence then why don't you keep the animals as pet.
Alien: Because we don't find animals funny enough.
Priest: You find us funny?
Alien: Yes, everywhere you select a rascal to be your leader and then complain that your leader is a rascal.
Priest: Well yes !! We do!!
Alien: You believe in religion and pin your hope from new scientific inventions and discovery ..
Priest: Well yes , but that was not funny for me ..
Alien: We can't see boundaries from space but you feel people are different based on the dotted lines that separate you and them
on the maps..
Priest: Well! you are right? But I believe that all Christians are one!!
Alien: And you crucified the one ..
Priest: Well the Jews did it!!
Alien: See that is the point, some of you are Jews and some Christians and some are neither..It is easy for us to differentiate between different
breeds of dogs but not between humans and you people can. That is why you are interesting ..
Priest: So you won't make everyone Christian !!
Alien: We will , even we will become Christians for fun !! We don't care ..
Priest: OK. I am with you ..
Alien: Ok. Now we will send you back and you wait for our instructions ..
Priest: Guys , I have a small request to make.
Alien: Yes .
Priest: Just don't abduct me when I am taking a dump.
Alien: Why? We thought that is the time all humans are at their most relaxed state?