So Trumpy

So Trumpy

(3.5m)   by adamappleton

Comedy Monologues   (44747 Views 22 Comments)

Recently, Russian President Vladimir Putin spoke highly of Trump. He called Trump 'a bright and talented person' and Trump replied calling Putin 'a man so highly respected within his own country and beyond'. If they were to merge into one person it would mean that Trump would finally get to be respected in his own country and Putin would develop a talent for going broke every couple of years with a matching bright hairstyle. Trump would really make some memorable White House Correspondents Dinners. To tell you the truth, I don't like the comedy acts at the Dinners because everyone is so stiff, so controlled. Everybody watches their language and stuff. That's why so few black comedians appeared there in the last few years. It is odd, but it would probably be even more odd to hear Dave Chappelle say stuff like: 'I really love that motherfornicater', or 'You go have sexual intercourse with yourself!' It just doesn't feel right, right? He would sound like Barney on drugs. Speaking of drugs and addictions, it's great that we finally have the new Star Wars movie out. 'The Force Awakens'. I love Star Wars, just can't get enough of them, but if they make one more sequel, I will expect Jason from Friday the 13th busting in somewhere at the end and chainsawing Leia, Chewbacca, Han Solo and the gang, screaming something like: 'You shall not have more sequels than I do!'

My favorite character in the movie is Han Solo. I mean, to make a full circle in career change from being an intergalactic hero, to a tomb raider, an American President and alien fighter in the wild West, back to being an intergalactic hero, he didn't actually age that much. Yes. Harrison Ford has played more different action-packed roles than O.J. Simpson.

Chewbacca is cool too. They say that Chewbacca is actually the future evolved Justin Bieber's monkey. Yes, the one he left at the German airport. It will be revealed in one of the future prequels. The Germans genetically enhanced the animal, since they already couldn't believe that a living creature could be that resilient to survive a whole Justin Bieber tour.

I mean, you would expect the more intelligent of the two to know and anticipate the problem of a primate entering a foreign country without any papers. Yes, the monkey should have known! He should have brought his own papers along! Maybe the monkey actually wanted to stay in Germany. Justin Bieber must have been slapping his monkey so often that it wanted to leave.
But, of all the young performers, Taylor Swift is definitely my favorite. I heard that she made a song once which was not about breaking up, but Kanye West didn't like it so she didn't want to risk publishing it.
Kanye and Kim got a child and named him Saint. Saint West. They already have a North West, but Kim earlier said that they 'will go with another direction' in naming this child. Now that's some misleading information if you ask me! I guess they didn't want to name this new kid East or West because Kanye has these two names reserved for Kim's two butt cheeks. The only remaining choice was South, but that's just too low.

So, the obvious choice was - Saint?! Really?! Maybe they're honoring the New Orleans Saints. We know how passionate Kanye can get when talking about New Orleans. Bush remembers it for sure. He came down on Bush that time after Katrina like Taylor Swift comes down on her ex-boyfriends. Anyway, we wish all the luck to little Saint, in hope that he will grow up to live a meaningful life and have a successful career, unlike his mother. I bet Putin would beg to differ, but I stand behind my words.

Talking about past, 2015 was an OK year, I guess. Yesterday I went to the CNN website and they listed a couple of reasons why this has been a good year, despite the war and terrorism issues. One of the top three reasons why 2015 is declared to be a good year by CNN is that the good guys won in the Myanmar elections. That's how good of a year it was that CNN listed elections in Myanmar as one of the best things that happened in 2015! That's great! Hopefully, next year will be even better and we will see some good guys kicking ass in the Bhutan elections!

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Part 2. Hope you still like it :-)

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Submitted by Andy (not verified) on Fri, 03/11/2016 - 14:08
Hello. This monoclonal is brilliant and I was wondering if I could use it for high school forensics competitions? I would be sure to inform that your the author. Thanks for taking the time to read this :),
Submitted by adamappleton (not verified) on Sat, 03/12/2016 - 04:39
Of course you can Andy. Only my real name is not Adam Appleton ;-)
Submitted by Aaron (not verified) on Tue, 03/22/2016 - 10:34
Hello, my name is Aaron. I was wondering if I could use your script for my middle school stand up comedy show. Thank You so much for your time.
Submitted by adamappleton (not verified) on Wed, 03/23/2016 - 09:53
Sure thing, Aaron. Feel free to do so.
Submitted by jack (not verified) on Thu, 03/31/2016 - 15:25
Can I please use this for and upcoming audition Nice Job bro
Submitted by adamappleton (not verified) on Thu, 03/31/2016 - 23:11
Of course Jack. Thanks.
Submitted by Devon (not verified) on Wed, 04/27/2016 - 05:14
I was wondering if i could use this for a high school acting piece? its for a monologue. if so thank you!
Submitted by adamappleton (not verified) on Mon, 05/09/2016 - 06:50
Sure thing Devon!
Submitted by mark (not verified) on Sat, 06/18/2016 - 23:34
can i use this pls?
Submitted by adamappleton (not verified) on Sat, 06/18/2016 - 23:59
Yes you can Mark
Submitted by Juan (not verified) on Sat, 06/25/2016 - 19:38
Hello. Great monologue. One of the funniest I found here. I was wondering if I can use it for an audition. It would be great if you accept. Thanks and greetings.
Submitted by adamappleton (not verified) on Sun, 06/26/2016 - 00:00
Feel free to do so Juan.
Submitted by Devin on Sun, 10/23/2016 - 02:03
Hi there. My name is Devin and I was wondering if I can use this piece and your "so obamish" piece for a high school forensic competition and I will credit you for these amazing pieces. Thank you for reading this and thank you, if approved, for letting me use it.
Submitted by adamappleton (not verified) on Sun, 10/23/2016 - 03:34
Thank you for your kind comments Devon. Yes, you can use it.
Submitted by Caden (not verified) on Thu, 11/24/2016 - 10:17
Hi! My name is Caden and I really want to know if I could use this a competition. This competition usually has a bunch of great performers and so I need something to bring the house down.
Submitted by adamappleton (not verified) on Fri, 11/25/2016 - 05:57
Heck yeah, Caden! :-) Feel free to use it. It would be great to get some feedback on how you did ;-)
Submitted by Caden (not verified) on Wed, 01/11/2017 - 15:12
I won the comedy category against 15 other comedians and 3rd place over all. Thanks dude! I changed it a little bit just to make it appropriate to younger audience that were there but nothing to big. Really appreciate you letting me use your work. Keep doing monologues like this because you are damn good at it!
Submitted by adamappleton (not verified) on Thu, 01/12/2017 - 03:01
Thanks for the great feedback bro! I really feel like it is a joint success and I am honestly so happy for you and for the both of us. Of course, I will keep writing. For the time being, you can check out my other text here called So Obamish. Heck, we can maybe establish some kind of long-term cooperation to our mutual benefit with you becoming the next Chris Rock and me in the backstage as your writer-partner ;-)
Submitted by Caden (not verified) on Thu, 01/19/2017 - 15:40
Haha. I would so do that! It would be pretty cool. There is another talent competition at my Highschool so maybe we can come up with something for like a Highschool disaster bit maybe if you want to do that. Up to you dude!
Submitted by adamappleton (not verified) on Thu, 01/19/2017 - 18:24
Sure. Why not!
Submitted by icomedytv on Thu, 01/19/2017 - 18:46
Just let you konw that will be migrated to a new system soon (this month) with new features such as displaying media productions of a script. If you have any such video/audio content you are welcome to submit them to the new site!
Submitted by Calen (not verified) on Fri, 01/20/2017 - 13:07
Lol libtards so butt hurt. You libtards don't need a funny script your stupidity has already been a laughing stock to the world for 8 years

3.5m Comedy Monologues - So Trumpy