Pets Like People

Pets Like People

(2m)   by restisaweapon

Comedy Monologues   (57611 Views 3 Comments)

Pets like People

I like dogs. They're friendly and engaging; just wanting some loving.

*acting the cat* Cats, on the other hand, will occasionally brush up against you

but their attitude is different.

Like, "Hey Buddy! Yeah, just stroke my back like a good master will ya?"

A dog on the other hand is much more humble.

*dog* He'll come up and sit there giving you "the look"

"Hi. Did I say I love today? Well I do."

Dogs like playing with you too. They run around you all excited

And they'll do that Pretend Bite thing.

Where they just sort of open their mouth and put their teeth against you.

Cats usually have their fun by themselves, cuz that's the way they like it.

Bounceing around vertically attacking little balls.

Or vandalizing your couch as they sharpen up their claws.

You can get right in there with your dog and he's all for it.

You can grab him and roll him over and stuff.

"No problem I don't mind if you push me around some".

Now the cat. No no no no no.

Cat considers you engaging her an interruption to her play time.

Oh and start grabbing or pushing her over and out come those couch sharpened claws.

And if you don't stop?

Then her ears go all flat and angry

and she starts that double back leg rabbit kick scratching.

Usually adding in some biting to get the point across.

*cat* "Look fool, I'm not a Dog?! Cut it out!"

Anyway I find dogs more social than cats.

They are even more social with each other.

You'll be out with your dog and meet up with another dog.

I like to imaging what they would be saying to each other.

Sometimes they?ll have a quick bark to establish who?s the Type A personality

And with that much established in this new relationship,

they move on to the next level...

"Let me smell your ass"

"Ok, Let me smell your ass"
I think dogs smelling each others asses is like exchanging resumes
Hi my name is Buck, I also go by Bucky
And uhh.... yeah if you?d like to know some more... Smell this...

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Could also be converted into a skit about relationships

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Submitted by niyati (not verified) on Fri, 09/10/2010 - 16:00
this is sooo funny!
Submitted by canadian (not verified) on Wed, 05/07/2014 - 10:23
can I use his monologue for a Drama project?
Submitted by restisaweapon on Wed, 05/07/2014 - 18:36
Hi Canadian yes you can but to view the whole script you need to join the site and friend me on the site to have access. Don

2m Comedy Monologues - Pets Like People