Drunkenness is bad

Drunkenness is bad

(1.5m)   by Ender Johnson

Comedy Monologues   (18985 Views 1 Comments)

[A man walks in, obviously intoxicated, and throughout the monologue, he continously sips his 'drink'. Only use it when you are not speaking.]

"Hello everyone, look, I know what you are thinking. "Well golly gee me! This man is drunk!" ,and I will tell you NO, I'm not, I have only had 5 bottles on the way here. So I was picked off the street from my 9 a.m. knockouted nap to tell you all that, drinking is bad! See what happens when you get drunk? You get taken into a live studio audience after just trying to find out if you left your boots on Jason Avenue or John Road. It's a disaster, AND I SEE YOU OVER THERE LADY, IM NOT DRUNK. I'm not even getting paid for this!...I think?...and there's another issue! I can't remember things good! Wait, who are you people? Nevermind! Somehow I'm on stage so I'm going to say what's on my mind! Drinking is great! And no I'm not drunk! I just enjoy the ole tradition of drinking stuff that helps me with speaking to you all! If I wasn't drunk, and I'm not drunk!, I would be shivering in fear cause I can't speak to large crowds, but I can speak to little blurry people!

[He looks far stage right or stage left] WHAT? WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY? HUH, MY BAR WAS OPENED? wait no? MY JAR WAS CODED? why would someone..wait, huh? OHH.. MY CAR WAS STOLEN, GOT IT!...wait.....OH NO! [He tries to run off stage, falls once, gets up sluggishly, and runs off stage] [End]

Comedy Type: Humor Type: Comedy Scene:
1 Person
Script Length: Post date: Script Market:
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Submitted by Vultarian on Wed, 02/02/2022 - 16:08
This is so so true

1 Person 1.5m Comedy Monologues - Drunkenness is bad