(2.5m)   by Simmonsa1851

Comedy Monologues   (50817 Views 20 Comments)

I think that everybody here can agree that bugs are creepy as hell. Some people just don't know what it is about them that makes them so horrifying. Maybe it's how they scatter around, how they steal and infest your food, (quietly) the possibility of them taking your soul from your pinky (normally) who cares? The bottom line, they're scary. Not like Halloween scary, but the type of scary that makes you want to snuggle with your blanket and pray to God himself that that tiny ant won't bust open your door wielding a knife and murder the crap out of you until you are super dead. Some people overreact just a tiny bit. Like this one time, I saw a spider in my shower. I leaned into the wall and used the shower head to try and get it to the drain. It worked well at first, until I moved it closer to me and leapt 7 feet in the air to not make any contact with this 3cm beast that's only desire is to make spider babies in my brain. I might've slipped landing and gotten a minor concussion, but hey, at least the spider was safely drowning to death! Regular bugs are creepy, but just imagine how bad they would be if they talked. You walk into the kitchen to see a roach on your counter. You're standing there like "Aaaaah!....It's a roach..." And the roach is like "Hey, hey hey hey hey hey, HEY! Relax, I'm just here to take your food and impregnate your family's brains, no biggy." "Okay, but, like, can you not?" "I must, it is part of the prophecy" "Ummm, but how about no though" "I must" "But-" "Prophecy" "Come on bruh" "Fine, I'll leave. I just got 2 1/2 tons of your good on my back so it might take a bit." "Okay, just, like...hurry up." Even that horrifying idea does not come close to the fact that a lot of bugs fly. Some, like butterflies, are elegant and graceful, while others, like Satan roaches, are hideous and demonic. Finding out if a roach flies without knowing at first is awful. You get all geared to fight this land dwelling monstrosity, and as you prepare to strike with that kill blow, the mother trucker starts flying, leaving you going Aaaaah and screaming for your mom. And I know from experience that that is not a pretty sight. Also, can you imagine what those little things are thinking. Here, let me give you an idea. I am a bug. Just, just go with it, we all have imagination. "Hmmmmmmmm, I would be way happier if your family is dead" stuff like that. Seriously, I'm convinced that bugs are just on this planet to BUG you. HA ha ha, get it? Man, this is bull, I'm out.

Comedy Type: Script Length: Post date: Script Market:

Author's Message

Original Monologue by Ashton Simmons

Copyright Statement



Submitted by LissieTheDinosaur on Mon, 04/13/2015 - 15:41
Hi, could I use this for a funny speech I have to do in my English class? Thank you
Submitted by Jennifer (not verified) on Thu, 04/23/2015 - 06:51
Hi, could I use this for my school's talent show? Thanks!
Submitted by Aria (not verified) on Sun, 05/17/2015 - 03:57
hey i hope you dont mind if i use this for my foresnsics piece for school. I also hope you dont mind me changing it a bit, i go to catholic school but i do love this piece so thank you.
Submitted by Dani (not verified) on Wed, 05/27/2015 - 05:12
I was wondering if I could use this for my public speaking class? It's really funny but I might need to change it though! But I love it!
Submitted by Aiden McMinimy (not verified) on Mon, 06/01/2015 - 04:15
Can I use this script for a speech competition? It is hilarious and I think that it could go pretty far in contest.
Submitted by Mia Bliss (not verified) on Sun, 06/14/2015 - 22:08
Hi, I was hoping that its all right if I could use this script for a Talent Quest? I really love the script, but is it alright if I change it a bit as well? Thanks
Submitted by Melissa St Clair (not verified) on Sat, 06/27/2015 - 03:38
Hi, I hope it's ok if i use this for an MT audition? I think it will e nice to go for something with humour rather than dramatic which is an obvious choice ;)
Submitted by nabeel (not verified) on Sun, 07/12/2015 - 10:09
Hi, is it alright if I use this for my speech class for a monologue. I really like it a lot and think it's really funny and humorous. Thank you! :]
Submitted by Casey (not verified) on Fri, 08/07/2015 - 10:37
Heyy, is it okay if I use this monolouge to audition for a play? Thank you very much!
Submitted by waluigi on Thu, 08/20/2015 - 17:15
hi is it ok if i use this for a play audition and shorten it a bit? thanks so so much !
Submitted by Wulu (not verified) on Sun, 08/30/2015 - 08:40
Submitted by missdoll (not verified) on Sat, 09/12/2015 - 18:31
I hate BUGS!
Submitted by Wolf (not verified) on Thu, 09/24/2015 - 06:19
Hey can I use this for a monologue recital I have to do for my Acting class?
Submitted by Raven (not verified) on Tue, 10/27/2015 - 10:07
im gonna use this
Submitted by gogo animeguy (not verified) on Sun, 11/15/2015 - 16:12
I'm using this in a talent quest. So...uh yeah
Submitted by Miguel Perez on Mon, 12/28/2015 - 12:17
Hey, I was thinking about using this for an audition, but I may have to change it a bit.
Submitted by Holster on Tue, 02/09/2016 - 04:20
Hi, just wondered if I am able to use this monologue for my audition. Thanks
Submitted by Rob23 on Wed, 04/27/2016 - 09:21
I may use this for an audition as my monologue if that is ok...It is pretty funny and has some moments that can really show the serio-comedic aspect of it...cheers.
Submitted by ryan388 (not verified) on Mon, 11/28/2016 - 10:56
can I use this for my project?
Submitted by mad (not verified) on Thu, 12/08/2016 - 13:00
can I use this?

2.5m Comedy Monologues - Bugs