(1m)   by mjee4294_17017

Comedy Monologues   (1203 Views 0 Comments)

an inspiration to like millions of little girls. I happen to be a teenage fashion model, Ballerina, nurse, flight attendant, tennis pro, ice skater, astronaut, teacher, singer, actress, dress designer, TV news reporter, veterinarian, teacher, astronaut rock star, scuba diver, artist, teacher, lifeguard, firefighter, dentist and a um teacher. My life isn’t as good as everyone thinks it is. Wanna know one reason? Your arms. They don’t bend. Have you ever tried putting on a shirt when your arms can’t bend? Even little things like calling ken are nearly impossible. (Pull out phone and talk to ken) Hello? Ken? Hey...It’s me Barbie. I miss you so much. *PAUSE* nope, I’m just chilling here in the Barbie house.*PAUSE* what? Yes, I love you too. *PAUSE*no I love you more*PAUSE* I love you the mostest*PAUSE* well I have to go now. *pause* no you hang up first. *PAUSE* ken. Just hang up...oh hes gone... (Look up like you suddenly realize that there is an audience). Well, I suppose being in a box can be fun. Like when all the little girls beg and beg to get you. I don’t blame them. If I saw a doll with hair as (flip and fondle with your hair) beautiful, shiny, soft and silky and totally unattainable as mine, I would want me too. OH, but like here is one thing that is completely horrible. Dress-up? Weddings? Tea parties? I can handle that. What I can’t handle? Little brothers and their smelly dogs. (Nod head sadly) Have you ever been in the mouth of a hot sweaty pit bull? I don’t think so. Try getting out of that without bending your arms. Omg. And like brother they think it’s like so funny to rip of your head and glue you to the body of a dinosaur? Does this look like the type of face that belongs on a dinosaur? No. Curves are one thing but that is totally different. Well, I like need to go call ken. Bye.

Comedy Type: Humor Type: Comedy Scene:
1 Person
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