America's Poor Credit Score

America's Poor Credit Score

(1.5m)   by andleiby
 

Comedy Monologues   (23468 Views 2 Comments)

Well we finally have elected our first black President.  Wait, I must be socially and now politically correct.  This is our first “African American” President.  I got to be careful you never know when the Rev. Al Sharpton is going to pop up on cnn trying to ban you and your word.  He sure did a number on the “N” word.  Well we should have seen it coming we elected our first black president  and now we got bad credit.  Ain’t that a bitch.  The world’s most powerful country and we can’t even get a god damn loan.  Shit, I don’t even know if we could get a “bad credit loan”.  Part of the problem came from his ingenious idea of “I’ll just print more money” that’s easy.  We all know if it’s too easy there is always a catch to it.  Easy shit always has consequences.  I filled out a credit card application a while back.  I was seriously done with the application and approved in a minute maybe two.  I thought how the fuck did they check my info out that quick.  Well, a week later the card arrives along with a 49.9% interest rate.  They tell me I’m lucky because they usually do 70%!  I thought you got to be hoping I’m a god damn illiterate fucking asshole to activate this fucking thing.  Needless to say now I’m up to my fucking eyeballs in debt over that simple ass shit.  Too easy,  I’m telling you if it’s that simple stay the fuck away.  I’m telling you #1 country in the fucking world.  But, sorry bad credit score.  And you know those Chinese bastards are loving it.  Instead of cooking up some General Tso’s and asking if we want fried rice instead it’s “you need loan? You know bad credit gets bad rate, so sorry”.  But we still fluff pillow for you.  We want you to be comfortable while we fuck you.  Now. We are like that pain in the ass cousin that always calls looking to borrow some money.  Don’t lie, you know what the fuck I’m talking about.  The mother fucker gets a 5 grand tax return and needs to borrow 20 bucks the next day.  I’m like what the fuck where the fuck does it go?  Are you a crackhead or something god damn.

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Comments

   

Submitted by Damien (not verified) on Wed, 01/28/2015 - 14:24
Soooo.... You must be mad.
Submitted by Damien (not verified) on Wed, 01/28/2015 - 14:24
Soooo.... You must be mad.

1.5m Comedy Monologues - America's Poor Credit Score