Professional Sex Ed.

Professional Sex Ed.

()   by marbs
 

Comedy Skits   (35339 Views 10 Comments)

MRS ROSENCRANTZ
So, kids, that is why it is important to save yourselves for marriage. Are there any questions before I introduce you to our special guest speaker?

A GIRL RAISES HER HAND

MRS. ROSENCRANTZ(cont'd)
Yes, Alecia.

ALECIA
Shouldn't the decision to become sexually active be a personal choice?

MRS. ROSENCRANTZ
yes, I suppose-

ALEICA
Then why is this class so focused on making that decision for us?

MRS. ROSENCRANTZ
Well, I don't think-

ALECIA
Shouldn't it be preparing us to make that decision for ourselves, when the time comes?

MRS. ROSENCRANTZ
Let's just introduce our guest speaker. Class, I want you to give a very warm welcome to Trixie!

TRIXIE ENTERS THE CLASSROOM. THE CLASS APPLAUDS

TRIXIE
Hello, kids. I'm Trixie, and your teacher here brought me in to teach y'all about the sexin' and whatnot.

MRS. ROSENCRANTZ

(to TRIXIE)

Safe sex, Trixie. Safe sex.

TRIXIE
Yes, kids, safe sex. Safety words are very important. Make sure you establish a safety word with your partner BEFORE y'all start the sexin'. Also, it's better if y'all's safety word isn't something y'all say all the time during sex. For example, try words like "spider-monkey" or "shenanigans."

MRS. ROSENCRANTZ

I think maybe we should talk about ways to avoid pregnancy

TRIXIE
Oh, I almost forgot! Kids, pregnancy is something that ain't good for y'all right now. Abortions are a great way to avoid pregnancy.

MRS. ROSENCRANTZ

(to TRIXIE)

I meant avoiding pregnancy BEFORE it happens.

TRIXIE
If y'all want to avoid the whole pregnancy scare altogether, anal sex is the best way to do that. But make sure y'all-

MRS. ROSENCRANTZ
And so are condoms. Trixie, maybe you should do the condom demonstration now, you think?

TRIXIE
Oh, right! the dong bag thing. I guess I'll need a volunteer for this. Which one of you boys wants me to put a prophylactic on them?

ALL OF THE BOYS IN THE CLASS RAISE THEIR HANDS EXCITEDLY

MRS. ROSENCRANTZ

Trixie, I really don't think that's necessary. That's what we have the banana for.

MRS. ROSENCRANTZ HANDS TRIXIE A BANANA

ALL THE BOYS LOWER THEIR HANDS, DISHEARTENED

TRIXIE
Banana is also a good safety word.

TRIXIE BEGINS PUTTING THE CONDOM ON THE BANANA

TRIXIE(CONT'D)
Now, girls. Condoms ain't just the boys' responsibility. It's always good to have one or two condoms with you just in case, that way you don't have to ever catch a mouthful of spunk.

A GIRL RAISES HER HAND

TRIXIE(CONT'D)
yes, darlin'?

SAMANTHA
What's a mouthful of spunk?
 

TRIXIE
An extra ten dollars.

MRS. ROSENCRANTZ

(suddenly)

I think that's all the time we have for today. Everyone let's thank our special guest for her time.

TRIXIE
But i haven't even gotten into payment methods-

MRS. ROSENCRANTZ
Thank you, Trixie. Goodbye

MRS. ROSENCRANTZ BEGINS ESCORTING TRIXIE TO THE DOOR.

TRIXIE
But what about different posit-

MRS. ROSENCRANTZ
JUST GET OUT!

MRS. ROSENCRANTZ THROWS TRIXIE OUT OF THE CLASSROOM

MRS. ROSENCRANTZ(CONT'D)
Well, that was fun, wasn't it? Are there any other questions?

TRIXIE POKES HER HEAD IN THROUGH THE DOORWAY

TRIXIE
IF y'all have any questions about the sexin', y'all can find me on the corner of Sixth and Washington.

MRS. ROSENCRANTZ
OUT!

TRIXIE LEAVES THE CLASSROOM

ALL THE BOYS RUSH AFTER HER.
 

Comedy Type: Post date: Script Market:
Public

Author's Message

ever wonder what it'd be like if a hooker taught your TLC class? here's how it'd happen.

Copyright Statement



Comments

   

Submitted by christine (not verified) on Fri, 08/06/2010 - 18:22
that was really funny ........ can i use this for our assignment? thanks!
Submitted by marbs on Mon, 08/09/2010 - 10:00
of course you can, Christine. P.S. My security code has VD in it...how coincidental.
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 08/24/2010 - 06:15
That is genius stuff. Although the timing you have down is definitely not right. That's more like 3-4 mins. Trixie is a good name for the character too
Submitted by JeffreyT (not verified) on Tue, 11/02/2010 - 05:28
Hey marbs, I just read it. Very good and funny piece of work, keep it dude!
Submitted by gitanjali (not verified) on Tue, 08/02/2011 - 23:35
Hi Marb, I am a film producer from India...we make films of all genres...for my next project I am looking for a good comedy script. I came across your script and I loved it. Is it possible to make a 1 and a half hour film on this subject? Would you be interested in writing it for us? Do write back. Cheers gitanjali
Submitted by marbs on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 03:16
@gitanjali I'd be interested in writing a script for you. shoot me an email at troy.m.harris1@gmail.com with some details and we can maybe work something out.
Submitted by goh_jr on Wed, 08/10/2011 - 19:30
Hi Marb, my name is Junior, and I would like to ask your permission to use this script, my school would like to act it out as an education project, maybe we would record and put it on youtube but of course we would give all credits to the author(s) of this script. We hope u will give my request due consideration. Thank you :)
Submitted by aisya devereaux (not verified) on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 04:27
Hilarious!! Would you mind if i used this in my school Talent show?? Please get back to me as soon as you can!:)
Submitted by Marcus (not verified) on Wed, 09/19/2012 - 06:30
This is a nasty skit ewwwwww!!!
Submitted by Shanaz (not verified) on Sat, 04/20/2013 - 05:13
OMG I love this! I've been trying to put together a little skit on time for my English class but i'm running out. It would be so great if i can use this. Can I?

Comedy Skits - Professional Sex Ed.